Aa
I think things are over
Last night Karen and I had a long talk about separating. Where Emma would live, who would stay in the house and who would leave, the cars, finances, dogs, etc..
This morning after her therapy session we talked again on the phone and she said we should stick to the plan, which was to find a mediator and start learning about what the next steps are.
I came home this evening, kissed Karen, we ate dinner together with Emma and talked about our day, got Emma to do her homework. Its like nothing happened. So strange....
I feel sad. I feel so sad for Emma. I feel sad that after 15 years we are going to separate. I do still love her and wish we could work it out but I just don't think I can ask her to try again. She wants out.
I suppose I shouldn't but I feel rejected. I tried everything in my power to keep her and I couldn't.
I feel disappointed.
This morning after her therapy session we talked again on the phone and she said we should stick to the plan, which was to find a mediator and start learning about what the next steps are.
I came home this evening, kissed Karen, we ate dinner together with Emma and talked about our day, got Emma to do her homework. Its like nothing happened. So strange....
I feel sad. I feel so sad for Emma. I feel sad that after 15 years we are going to separate. I do still love her and wish we could work it out but I just don't think I can ask her to try again. She wants out.
I suppose I shouldn't but I feel rejected. I tried everything in my power to keep her and I couldn't.
I feel disappointed.
Thank you everyone for your support. I will certainly keep you updated and will probably need your kind words or advice from time to time.
To update you, Karen and I talked last night about going to a mediator. Things are still on very good terms. I hope that it continues this way, but I dont want to kid myself. I know that these types of things can turn on a dime and get ugly quickly.
But for now it is okay.
On the bright side, I had an inspiring thought today.... I have always wanted more kids. Perhaps the next person that I meet will either be young enough to have another child, or will have a child/children of her own. That could be a positive thing :)
To update you, Karen and I talked last night about going to a mediator. Things are still on very good terms. I hope that it continues this way, but I dont want to kid myself. I know that these types of things can turn on a dime and get ugly quickly.
But for now it is okay.
On the bright side, I had an inspiring thought today.... I have always wanted more kids. Perhaps the next person that I meet will either be young enough to have another child, or will have a child/children of her own. That could be a positive thing :)
also, I'm very, very proud of you the way you have handle yourself during this difficult situation and you have my support....Judy
I'm so sorry and how difficult this time is for you. If you have made all attempts to salvage your marriage, including marriage counseling and Karen still want out of the marriage, then it is beyond your reach at this point in time. I don't know if she want a seperation or to go ahead and file for a divorce and I'm glad to see that you both are amicable towards each other. It's always sad and heartbreaking to see any marriage desinagrate.
Right now you need some time to just think and accept what you can't change or attempt one last try to talke with her and tell her that you love her and this is not what you want, but if she is determined to continue with a divorce, so be it. Make sure to surround yourself with family and good friends, because you will need their love and support and we are here for you during this difficult time. I support you and I'm sad with you, but it's going to be alright, one step at a time. Judy
Right now you need some time to just think and accept what you can't change or attempt one last try to talke with her and tell her that you love her and this is not what you want, but if she is determined to continue with a divorce, so be it. Make sure to surround yourself with family and good friends, because you will need their love and support and we are here for you during this difficult time. I support you and I'm sad with you, but it's going to be alright, one step at a time. Judy
Good point lovemykids465 - too much pressure can push a spouse who's already half-way out of the door to walk out completely. Give her space and time, while avoiding doing anything too terminal or difficult to reverse.
Are you just separating or divorce? My parents separated for a year when I was a child. Back then in NY you had to be separated for some time before you started divorce proceedings, anyway, my dad realized what he was loosing and ended up reconciling with my mom. That was 23 years ago. Not saying it is always the case but there is always hope. But if she wants out you need to let her go and work things out in her heart and mind alone for now.
I'm with you pal, I know just how you feel.
At the very least, you two are being civil with each other, and look like you are trying to do this as nicely and amicably as you reasonably can. That's really good. There are so many who end up here who let the pain and hurt and rejection they feel overwhelm them, and it all turns very sour and nasty and bitter and vindictive very quickly. When you really love someone, it's amazing how easily that can turn to really hating - the higher you are, the harder it is when you fall. It's good that it's not going that way for you. It's good that your wife isn't just going in to try and get everything she can, the house, the daughter, but is open about discussing how things should be shared.
I know just what you mean about coming home and life just getting on as normal, as if you hadn't been talking about your separation that morning. It just seems surreal. I've been there too. I guess, if you are not actively discussing it at the time, you just have to get on with life as normal, until one of you is actually ready to start packing. There's nothing else to do. But it does feel really wierd.
At the very least, you two are being civil with each other, and look like you are trying to do this as nicely and amicably as you reasonably can. That's really good. There are so many who end up here who let the pain and hurt and rejection they feel overwhelm them, and it all turns very sour and nasty and bitter and vindictive very quickly. When you really love someone, it's amazing how easily that can turn to really hating - the higher you are, the harder it is when you fall. It's good that it's not going that way for you. It's good that your wife isn't just going in to try and get everything she can, the house, the daughter, but is open about discussing how things should be shared.
I know just what you mean about coming home and life just getting on as normal, as if you hadn't been talking about your separation that morning. It just seems surreal. I've been there too. I guess, if you are not actively discussing it at the time, you just have to get on with life as normal, until one of you is actually ready to start packing. There's nothing else to do. But it does feel really wierd.
I'm sorry things aren't working out. I don't think your wife truly understands the consequences to what she is doing. I think the best thing to do is let her go. She will only see that the grass is not greener. What are Karen's plans? What are her expectations? I hope as time goes on you get stronger. Good luck and we are always here for you.
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