Infedelity and who it affects?

[teko]

I am Mom and Mom in law, sometimes called monster in law im sure!  LOL!  We all know the two involved in the infidelity and their immediate families are affected by their actions.  However! I wonder how many stop to think of how many others are affected permanantly by their actions.  My daughter and her hubby are going for divorce because of her infedelity. I called to c if I could keep the kids tonight and was told no. Why, because wife did not want hubby free to roam, thinking he may come to where she works if given the chance.  Ok!  So, why am I so angry!  Has any one else been in these situations and had to deal with their issues when you actually are not involved. Seems like the innocent parties pay the price? What say you?

[Judy246]

also, how disruptive is all the "drama" when infidelity happens. Like a soap (all due respect here Teko) and the entire home environment automaically becomes dysfuncitional. I'm sure all of this is going to fall into place, but it's going to take a long time for healing, especially the children.

[mami1323]

Thanks teko, I really appreciate that.  It is very difficult to overcome infidelity but I will say that we have come along way and I hope he learned a valuable lesson because I will not deal with it again.  It is way too much drama and I feel for your situation.  Having to sit back and watch it all happen in front of your face and to know it was your own flesh and blood doing the betraying is a difficult pill to swallow.  I hope for the best for your family.

[Judy246]

Infidelity is destruction of the worst possible way to the family unit and I hope people can read all of the above and see how evil and destructive infidelity is :)  Judy

[teko]

Judy that was a good list and by putting it in black and white it makes it look more like what it is instead of a mere indescretion.

Miami, I have nothing but respect for you girlfriend! You are a bigger woman than me! It is hard for me to just sit and watch this nightmare unfold. I am so tired from all the drama, that I need a vacation to get away from it. Thank you guys for your response.

[Judy246]

Infidelity effects:

* Couples involved
* Children
* Jobs, company, lack of productivity, time off , etc.
* School,education, teachers who have to deal with lashing out behavior,
* Classmates, who might not have their friends as before or being bullied
* Families: Parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents,...causes dysfunctional environment
* Neighbors: Witnessing fighting, abusive behavior, neglected kids, unattended kids
  neglected pets.
* Pets: they suffer stress from the fighting, neglect (food, walks, etc) depression
* House - get's neglected, dysfunctional
* Financially: Bills, Attorneys, car, gas, babysitters to watch while at attorneys, etc.,
  doctor visits, counselors, psychiatric
* Health - Stess causes all type of physical problems
* Spirituality - Turn away from God, church , moral values, adultery.

I covered most of it, but I'm sure there is more ....sad isn't it.

[mami1323]

I haven't but I've been the one involved and seen my stepkids go through it.  My son was too small but my 16 year old stepson, who at the time was 15 knew what was going on and he was extremely sad and angry with his father.  He developed a lot of anger issues because he is very close to me and felt like he was finally comfortable within the family unit.  He was afraid that it was going to be torn apart and that we would split and he would have to get to know yet another woman.  His daughter was young and we sort of sheltered it from her because she would run back to her mother to tell all the details and really we didn't think it was something that she needed to know.  I'm sure she could tell something was up.  I guess the one really affected by it the most was my stepson.  He lost a lot of respect for his father and ultimately started to mimic his behavior because he wound up cheating on his girlfriend.  He got a really long talk from me on that one.