Aa
Gaining on me
This is more of a statement or I guess it can be a question. It seems like every where I go, everything I read or hear is talking about not looking back, forgetting the past and moving forward. I know it is what I need to hear b/c I was doing great but it was a year ago this month my husband was really caught up with the other woman. Granted it ended before it really went to far for me, but it still hurt and hurts like hell. It was a year ago today that he decided to take my son out to a function that he ( my husband ) hates and in the past it was like pulling teeth to get him to go, anyway I thought it was great that he was showing interest in going with our son, only to find out the only reason he went was b /c she was there and he wanted to run into her. I think that hurt me more then all the convo's they had. Any way. It has been over for 11months now and I was doing great but every day I look at the colander and say oh today they talked this long etc. So yesterday I see this quote " Don't look behind you might not want to see what is gaining on you." I thought how stupid is that one. Well, My kids decided they wanted to go to this event once again this year. They are old enough to go with out us now so I dropped them off with a mutual friend but when I pulled unto the grounds it was like I hit a brick wall. I just started sobbing. My daughter right away new what it was., This woman works there every year for the week ( the county fair, she shows horses). She ( my daughter) was like mom, let's just go home. I said no, I would drop them and leave. I think she was afraid I was gonna get out and go look for her lol. Any way I guess my question is : How come I can be doing so well and then all of a sudden crack? I realized it is gaining on me. I did mention it to my husband for fear the kids would. He just apologized and hugged me. told me I have nothing to worry about but all night while we were out I had to act like was fine but I felt very insecure. I kept watching him to see if his eyes were looking else where. How stupid!
What is unfortunate, is that anger of that magnitude will start to erode the rest of our health. I too hope that she is able to overcome it.
It is sad to see someone hurting so, I guess we all deal with it differently.I hope she is going to be alright.
Thank you specialmom...it is a tough road but it is helpful to see and hear from people who are in the same boat and get the support.
I can hardly read that with all the jumping to and from capital letters------- gave me a headache. I commend you ladies that are taking the steps to heal your life------- bravo to you!
Wow! I felt like I was being scolded by my mom there for a minute! I think if I cheated he would forgive me, but I could not do it. Have I been tempted Hell ya! But I walked away. I know Joe feels bad and He is understanding. I just long for the day when it is a distant memory.
Tinkerbell I understand that you have suffered from your own situation but we all make our own choices. You are upset and dealing with it in your own way. Obviously this just happened to you and you have a lot of anger but a lot of us are years from when this happened and trying to heal our relationships. We share children with these men and have gone through extensive counseling with them. We are all here for support and without judgment. If you would like to share your story then that would be wonderful but its not helpful to some of us women who have accepted the affairs and chose to forgive to see your responses. Everyone's situations are different.
PTSD??!! - MEDS??!! This is Serious Stuff!! This is MAJOR!!
Is HE suffering from PTSD??!! Does HE need medication to get HIM through??!! HE thinks YOU should get over it, YOU should be able to move on - YOU should put this behind You!! - YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE PROMBLEM!! - YOU CAN'T GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE get's him off the hook - HIS life goes on.
I still ask You - HOW WOULD HE HANDLE IT IF YOU WERE F'ING SOMEONE ELSE!!?? OMGolly!! HE EXPECTS You TO MAKE THE PROPER CHOICES NO MATTER WHAT TEMPATATIONS MIGHT BE THERE FOR You??? Can You make a mistake??? Can You get "caught off guard?" can You get caught up in the "moment" by someone who's coming on to you?? Can you make a "mistake" and "accidently" have an affair? Can you get caught up in the moment for an EXTRA SPECIAL DELICIOUS orgasm?? that CAN NOT be avoided?? that CAN NOT be resisted?? (and is really no different from any other orgasm!!??) C'mon, let's be real here, It's NOT about the orgasm!! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! we can do an orgasm all by ourselves!! -it's NOT about "orgasm" it's about LOVE and COMMITMENT and CHARACTER!! AND IF ONE DOESN'T HAVE "CHARACTER" IN THE FIRST PLACE - THEN ONE DOESN'T HAVE CHARACTER IN THE SECOND PLACE!!
AND YOU CAN TELL HIM - I SAID SO!!
Do You think he would stand in there and take medication for PTSD if YOU were cheating!!??? - or do you think he would he drop his unfaithful wife like a hot potato???
I also had PTSD. Our therapist told me to go on anti anxiety meds as well. It was very hard and traumatizing for me so I know how you feel. I still have moments where I think back and remember that he was with that w hore and I get upset. I was looking at pictures from my friend's babyshower and remembered it was a day after I found out about my fiancé's affair. It still affected me. Hopefully in time we won't think back anymore. I'm sorry you had a rough time but just think how far you've come.
I agree this was the worse situation I have ever gone through. And I have been through a lot. Sick children and all. I am doing much better. I too am on anxiety meds they do seem to help. I hope things are getting better for you. Just remember you are not on the corollary coaster alone, some of us are riding with you and it will come to an end.
Sorry you had to feel that way, dear. Last week, our marriage counselor sent me to the Dr. to get a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder! Yes it is that severe! I got a prescription for anxiety "as needed." If you check the symptoms of PTSD, you'll see that it's perfectly normal to relive the anxiety when you are faced with reminders of the traumatic event.
It doesn't make it any easier, but maybe it will make you feel less crazy. Hang in there! Good luck.
It doesn't make it any easier, but maybe it will make you feel less crazy. Hang in there! Good luck.
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