The depersonalization is a strong sign of the co-infection Bartonella. Once you find an LLMD like Jackie suggested, he should recognize that.
Welcome to MedHelp Lyme -- sorry you are not feeling well!
The symptoms of Lyme can be different in different people, and it takes an MD who is experienced in Lyme to take your history and symptoms and know what to test for.
In your situation, I would take copies of all the tests your docs have done already and go to a Lyme specialist for a work up. MDs who are not very familiar with Lyme can overlook it as a possibility, which is why seeing a Lyme specialist is important.
If you go to ILADS [dot] org, they have a referral service and can give you names of member MDs near you. 'ILADS' is short for International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society, a voluntary group for MDs who have a particular interest or expertise in Lyme disease and other infections the 'Lyme' ticks may carry.
To your specific questions, no one here is medically trained that I know of, but here's what I've read:
You say, "can I have Lyme without pain?" Lyme hits everyone who has it in different ways. Some of us get aches and pains in joints and throughout the body, others of us a just confused and foggy. Many of us are tired much of the time.
Part of the difficulty in diagnosing Lyme is that it affects everyone differently. That's why seeing a Lyme specialist is important -- Lyme docs know how tricky Lyme can be, and know what to look for.
If you search online for
--- ILADS referral email ---
you will find links to ILADS that will help you find an MD near you. If the first name doesn't work out, go back to ILADS and ask for another. It's what I would do. If you do not have Lyme, an ILADS member MD would be able to tell you.
Lyme not only can make you feel physically lousy, but it can also be very upsetting overall, but once it is identified and treated, life gets better again. Take care, and let us know how you do, okay? All good wishes to you --