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1554647 tn?1316827220

WBC and Nutracell Dangerously Low - off meds:(

My GP and my Lyme Doc't told me to stop the antibiotics. This is devestating because I just started 5 weeks ago and I just want to get better. Lyme doc't said it could be because I am herxing...I do feel very sick lately...dizzy, tired, weak....or it could be the antibiotics.   Has anyone else had this problem.?

What a bum*mer :(
Best Answer
Avatar universal
So sorry to hear this -- BUT remember, there is no straight path to getting rid of Lyme -- it is still a mysterious infection with many twists and turns that docs are still figuring out, so it takes various tries to get things rolling in the right direction, with many course corrections along the way.

Think of it like driving into a Paris without a map ... when you find the Eiffel Tower, you'll know it, but it takes some wandering around to get there.  It's definitely worth the trip, it's just less direct than any of us would like.  I had a few detours myself, and it's crushing to the already beleaguered spirit and body, but yank up your socks, girlfriend:  the Eiffel Tower awaits!

Hugs!
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1554647 tn?1316827220
I love the poem.  It is especially fitting because of the part about not bringing back the splendour in the grass.  I think Wordsworth may have had Lyme.  I will never look at grass the same way again either.:)


No seriously, I think greiving is an important part of moving forward....as long as there is some eventual movement forward. Thanks again for your great insights, you have helped me tremendously.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You're so right, it IS a form of grieving.  And it's good to acknowledge that and accept it, but not let it lay you so low that you give up.  You sound like you're handling it well and thoughtfully.  If you don't feel that you are getting the upper hand in coming to that peaceful place, you could consider a counselor for a few sessions to help sort it out and come to terms with it.  

I sometimes see former star athletes on TV, who got injured or their bodies just started wearing out, and some of them find a new way to carry on (Joe Namath) and some just fall apart, because they can't adapt to the new reality that their knees just don't do what they used to.

Life is like that for everyone ... it happens with natural aging; it also happens with long illness.  It is the pits, but there it is, and the trick for me is finding ways to laugh at the bugs and still have a life I enjoy.

I was SO sick for several years that I despaired of ever being even slightly normal again, but here I am:  5 or so years down the pike, I have most of my life back, but it's a different life, a bit changed ... partly just from the years passing, but partly from having been through a long illness.  What counts is that I'm still standing, still here.

Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind ...

-- Wm Wordsworth. 1770–1850

(Not to go all soppy poetry on you or anything .....ha)

I like yor note about the tick paranoiacs -- perfect.  :)
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1554647 tn?1316827220
Hi Jackie,
I need your reality checks.  Since starting back at work I have been reminded of the 'presick' me and that has been great.  It is also a great distration...I guess when my limitations are presented from the Lyme...it's like am grieving again.  I just have to amalgamate my previous, energetic and super healthy and young working 'self' with this new version of me.  I have learned from this whole process that eventually I will make peace with the new 'me' I am constantly meeting. Back when MS was on the table...I did some major greiving and accepting the concept of a chronic illness.  It was hard, but I got there.....I realized there was no escape hatch...... So I guess, when I found out it was lyme....I felt that there was an escape hatch...now I am just coming to terms with how difficult it is to find.  Your messages are helping me just to accept the reality.  

I went to a lyme disease support group picnic.  It was fun...lots of tick paranoic people at a picnic...haha....anyways,...people there were on treatment for years. It was kind of heart breaking...but again...part of accepting my new reality. And you are right...although I have 'bad' days, I can still function for the most part.  I am lucky.
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Avatar universal
Your comment, 'if I can just be properly sick and rest and then I might get better faster', makes perfect sense ... except imo in the Lyme world.  These little buggs don't play by the rules, so it's not like 'rest your sprained ankle and it will be better' or 'stay home a few days and your cold will be better.'  

It took me quite a while to realize that dealing with Lyme was, at least for me, going to be a long march, not a sprint.  And Lyme was going to be my companion on that long march, wanting its own schedule of lunch breaks and detours off the roadway.  I was still in charge, but Lyme demanded time, attention and energy from me.  It's not like a baby, where the baby's needs and demands are a duty AND a pleasure, because while changing a diaper itself is not fab, the interaction with the baby is nice, the baby is happy with the attention, and diaper rash has been averted yet one more time.

Lyme instead is like dealing with a criminal:  no redeeming social value whatsoever.  And yet, Lyme needs the same level of ongoing attention that a baby needs, just for different reasons.

I thought sometimes when I was ill about a girl in my high school class (I'll call her Mary) who broke her leg, but the bone didn't mend properly for some reason.  The docs were every so often trying some new brace or therapy to get it better, but in the meantime Mary had to wear a shoe brace that extended up to her knee.  Not the end of the world, but it caused her to limp, and it was hard for her to walk long distances or go up and down the stairs easily.  It just made her stick out, which of course is the last thing a teenage girl wants to do.  

That leg brace and the injured leg were constant companions for Mary, but she tried to "live with it" (such an odd but accurate phrase) and accommodate the awkwardness ... because she had no choice.  The brace was part of Mary's life whether she wanted it to be or not.  She handled it all very well, at least as far as I could tell, but I wasn't a close friend, just an observer.  

When I got Lyme and realized it was going to be a long game, I eventually thought of Mary and her companion brace, always there, always a bit in the way, but with Mary carrying on nevertheless.  She didn't 'become' the bad leg or let herself be defined by it, but she did have to make accommodations for it.  Lyme was the same for me.  

So be kind to yourself, know that you are still you, you still do your work that you love as well as you did it before, and Lyme is just an annoyance that doesn't affect who you are, just modifies a bit how you maneuver through the day.  Be kind to yourself:  your body is fighting hard, and needs your peace of mind to help all of yourself get well.

This may be REALLY obvious to anyone reading this, but it took me a while to work it out ...

Be kind to yourself.  You're doing great!  A sweet baby, work that you love, and good enough health to do that work.  You go, girl!  (And get enough sleep!)



Helpful - 0
1554647 tn?1316827220
Thanks Jackie,
It is a big adjustment. It is good to hear it from an outside perspective.  It just so happend my treatment started the same time as work and the treatment is making me feel worse than I have so far...I really just want to be sick.  That sounds weird.  But I feel if I can just be properly sick and rest then I might get better faster.  I am struggling to do both...but I think I should hang in there...maybe this is just a bad herx.  

I really, really love my work and I work with great kids (teens)...you are right...it is familiar, but very, very different.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well, going back to work after maternity leave is a gigantic event all itself, not to mention motherhood in general ... so you're entitled to freak out.  

It will take a while to get back in the swing of workaday life -- if you *weren't* feeling overwhelmed, I'd wonder why.  It's a major adjustment like a new job or a new house ... only it seems like it should feel 'normal' because it's going back to something previously familiar.  But actually, two years have passed, your family has expanded, and work has doubtless changed -- heck, that happens while you're away on vacation, much less maternity leave.

Be easy on yourself, take the long view at work, like toward year end.  When January arrives, if it is still feeling awkward, then think about reassessing the work/life situation and balance.  But that you even got back to work (in addition to new baby *and* Lyme) is AMAZING.

Your socks are hereby deemed permanently yanked up.  Good work!  (Be sure to get some sleep, too.  Lack of sleep post-baby nearly did me in, and I didn't have Lyme then.)
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1554647 tn?1316827220
Getting rid of Lyme would be a special destination.  Thanks Jackie, I guess I was so relieved to finally be on treatment, I was taken aback by the glitch.  It is good to have a reality check about the nature of the disease. I just wish I could look into a crystal ball and 'see' me without lyme one day.  

I just returned to work after a two year maternity leave...my limitations are pretty glaring....I don't know if I can keep it up.

Anyways..socks pulled up and ONWARD!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ah, but finding the Eiffel Tower is special, just like getting rid of Lyme.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Nice analagy Jackie, but I would of said finding a particular bar/restaurant without a map. All you have to do is "look up" to see the Eiffel Tower.   Jus sayin.  But good reply
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