Aa
What do you think of Lying?
I wonder how many people think lying is good or bad, and why? Is lying truly necessary to achieve something?
You guys are more than welcome to support your answers based on religion, personal experiences or politics.
You guys are more than welcome to support your answers based on religion, personal experiences or politics.
I think with the exception of Santa and the toothfairy/bunny lying is wrong....you have to remember your lies cover your tracks one leads to another and its self defeating negative behavior.
when faced with a direction question like do you like my new dress from a friend and I hate it I find something I like for exaple that length is really in this year or that color mathes your skin tone beautifully,,,no lying..
when faced with a direction question like do you like my new dress from a friend and I hate it I find something I like for exaple that length is really in this year or that color mathes your skin tone beautifully,,,no lying..
I think lying is a human trait, we all do it but with some it is a permanent part of life I think it becomes a habit, I have known a few liars in my time,close liars I may add, , I have lied but never to cause pain I think basically I am an honest person.
Margy, who you calling purtykitty LOL
I do understand that sometimes we're kind of caught in that predicament of whether to tell a white lie, like when your friend asks you if her outfit or hair looks good and you don't want to hurt their feelings, but I'd have to say for the most part, I hate lying. I hate it because I feel like it's deception and betrayal. And I've been lied to and betrayed. It's not a good feeling.
I've had to learn that teenagers will sometimes lie to their parents so that they don't get in trouble. And I had to learn to not go overboard when I would find out, to stay calm and just explain to them why it breaks your trust. We went through this with our daughter over and over. I'd give her some freedom and she'd blow it and try to lie and hide it. I would tell her that she'd get into more trouble lying than telling the truth but it took a long time for her to finally understand that she was going to have to earn back our trust. She finally has it because she is being honest with me now and I so appreciate it! But it took a long time to get there.
Sorry, I went off on a tangent there, lol. I think I was going somewhere with that? Lol
Let's just say I try real hard not to ever lie and if I do, accidentally or something, I will feel guilty about it, lol. I'm so hard on myself! ;P
I've had to learn that teenagers will sometimes lie to their parents so that they don't get in trouble. And I had to learn to not go overboard when I would find out, to stay calm and just explain to them why it breaks your trust. We went through this with our daughter over and over. I'd give her some freedom and she'd blow it and try to lie and hide it. I would tell her that she'd get into more trouble lying than telling the truth but it took a long time for her to finally understand that she was going to have to earn back our trust. She finally has it because she is being honest with me now and I so appreciate it! But it took a long time to get there.
Sorry, I went off on a tangent there, lol. I think I was going somewhere with that? Lol
Let's just say I try real hard not to ever lie and if I do, accidentally or something, I will feel guilty about it, lol. I'm so hard on myself! ;P
I don't think it's good thing to lie. It really bothers me when someone does and I know they're doing it. It makes me lose respect for them. I was brought up to always tell the truth and I've raised my daughter the same way. You might be in trouble for awhile by telling the truth but at least people will respect you and you'll respect yourself.
I wonder if there is a middle ground between a bad lie and a “healthy” lie. I’d define a lie as bad when it will hurt someone. But a “healthy” lie would be like lying on a job interview. I mean, who hasn’t lied about some things during a job interview, right? Yes? No? Maybe?
I haven't lied during an interview, that I know of. It would be pretty risky, I'd think. I mean, they could find out. I tell them what my experience is and my strengths, etc. I do try to be honest. I mean, if they ask what your weaknesses are, I'd pick one that's not so bad rather than the one that wouldn't look so good but I'd still try to be truthful. Does that make sense?
I do think you will lose respect for someone when they've lied to you. It's hard to build back up that trust. It's just best to be honest.
I do think you will lose respect for someone when they've lied to you. It's hard to build back up that trust. It's just best to be honest.
Oh, I hate lying and I hate being lied to because I feel betrayed and just so disappointed. But I have to admit that I do lie to my parents sometimes when I don't want them to worry about something :( I'm ashamed of it and I hate lying....but I would hate to worry my mom and see her drinking her teas to calm down and she can't sleep, she gets chest pains and all that :( Is that wrong? Hmm, I know it is.....but I try to avoid worrying my mother, most of all...
Great question, PK, I was thinking about that just recently...
April, not THAT lie. You cannot lie about your background or experience although some people lie about that. Believe me, they do. I have a co-worker who said he was good with Microsoft Office. Well guess what, he doesn’t even know how to copy-paste cells. He just needed to get the job, so he’d say anything to PLEASE and sugar coat.
Sometimes, some people find themselves interviewing for a job they really don’t want but MUST try to get (for X and numerous obvious reasons) and so they tend to tell the interviewer that they’d be more than happy to be part of the team and blah blah blah? In reality, they jut need to get the job not because they will enjoy it or like it but because there is no free lunch anywhere. Wouldn’t this be an acceptable thing to do? You lie to be able to pay rent. How’s that?
I’ve seen that a lot, especially lately, with so many unemployed, highly qualified individuals who are desperate to get a job no matter how, even if it they will get paid $20,000 less (yearly).
These discussions, we have at work all the time. Economic crisis sometimes calls for desperate measures.
Sometimes, some people find themselves interviewing for a job they really don’t want but MUST try to get (for X and numerous obvious reasons) and so they tend to tell the interviewer that they’d be more than happy to be part of the team and blah blah blah? In reality, they jut need to get the job not because they will enjoy it or like it but because there is no free lunch anywhere. Wouldn’t this be an acceptable thing to do? You lie to be able to pay rent. How’s that?
I’ve seen that a lot, especially lately, with so many unemployed, highly qualified individuals who are desperate to get a job no matter how, even if it they will get paid $20,000 less (yearly).
These discussions, we have at work all the time. Economic crisis sometimes calls for desperate measures.
I agree. When I was in disability I was glad I was even getting $1200 a month! Times have been so tough for so long, I was glad to get anything!
Since I seem to feel everything I say or do is part of a universal consiousness (lacking theory of mind), it's hard for me to lie without feeling like everyone would be aware of it anyway, I'm honest to a fault... (I've had to learn that not everyone is aware of my thought process, even though I am aware of it, but still it's a mental override.)
If it weren't for me knowing some social graces I probably would be giving people a very honest (read: blunt) opinion to the question "How do I look?" if I didn't think it was good.
In those cases I may try to say they look good but try to offer suggestion for improvement.
Also I've learned to say "Fine" to the question "How is your day going?" If I were to give a true complete answer, then I'd probably bore the person or create an awkward moment... Sometimes I say "Tired." That works too and it is honest. I seem to always feel tired.
Outright honesty can be a problem at times... I can insert foot in mouth.
Sometimes if under pressure, I may say a lie reflexivly, but tend to confess later when no longer under pressure.
------
Even the most honest person may not always tell the truth, because our sense of truth is based on our perceptions. Ask several people witnessing a car wreck and you'll find varrying stories.
If it weren't for me knowing some social graces I probably would be giving people a very honest (read: blunt) opinion to the question "How do I look?" if I didn't think it was good.
In those cases I may try to say they look good but try to offer suggestion for improvement.
Also I've learned to say "Fine" to the question "How is your day going?" If I were to give a true complete answer, then I'd probably bore the person or create an awkward moment... Sometimes I say "Tired." That works too and it is honest. I seem to always feel tired.
Outright honesty can be a problem at times... I can insert foot in mouth.
Sometimes if under pressure, I may say a lie reflexivly, but tend to confess later when no longer under pressure.
------
Even the most honest person may not always tell the truth, because our sense of truth is based on our perceptions. Ask several people witnessing a car wreck and you'll find varrying stories.
BP, I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing. You do not want them to worry about you YET, or until something is final. I'd do the same.
I do classify lying into bad and "healthy". Sometimes we just don’t have a choice. There may be a way out; but it could be that such way out will not bring beneficial outcomes. For example, lying on a job interview.
I do classify lying into bad and "healthy". Sometimes we just don’t have a choice. There may be a way out; but it could be that such way out will not bring beneficial outcomes. For example, lying on a job interview.
Yes, that's true. I too have known people to lie in a job interview.
I still feel guilty about the "white" lies though because we're all taught that lying is wrong and I agree....but like I said, I can't help it when it comes to my parents sometimes.
Thank you for understanding, PK.
I still feel guilty about the "white" lies though because we're all taught that lying is wrong and I agree....but like I said, I can't help it when it comes to my parents sometimes.
Thank you for understanding, PK.
MJ, telling someone they look good when they look bad is a lie. :)
We all lie...I think it is inevitable. Is it ok? Hmmm...I think it depends on the situation, not on the concept of the word "LIE"
We all lie...I think it is inevitable. Is it ok? Hmmm...I think it depends on the situation, not on the concept of the word "LIE"
I know, but if I said, "You look like c-rap." that won't go over very well either......... Simon may get big bucks for that kind of bluntness, but not me....Thankfully I haven't been asked the question very often...
My sister asked me once and I kind of hesitated before giving an answer. We worked together and picked out a better shirt. Then she looked much better.
My sister asked me once and I kind of hesitated before giving an answer. We worked together and picked out a better shirt. Then she looked much better.
LOL, I can imagine how that went, LOL
I can imagine it too, that's why I don't say it! In that case I try to go back with what I learned about color theory in my foundations courses...
You're right, MJ. Bluntness isn't very welcome either. Most people hate it. I know I hate it!! That doesn't take away the fact that you lie when you tell your friend they look good when they really look bad. I am not judging you. I do it too. Hurting people by telling them they look ugly isn’t my thing. Do I tell them to improve things here and there? Yes. But I don’t necessarily say they look ridiculous, or basically give them a piece of my mind. We ALL lie. Nobody can say they have never lied….nobody.
Reminds me of a chapter from a story grandma read to me from her book club. The narrator seemed right on aspergers-like. he talked about not lying, but yet admitted to giving "white lies" or partial truths and not thinking they count.
It's impossible to be 100% honest and never lie... But as far as outright lying to deceive someone I won't do. My parents strongly told me that if I was honest, they'd always be easier on me than if I were to lie and them to find out the truth...
At times I may have gone way too far... Many years ago I accidently lost a queen ant from an ant farm I had... I felt compelled to be honest... I told my mom. She took it surprisingly well. Then a day later she exploaded at the thought of having an ant infestation in the house.
Sometimes it's wise to just keep quiet............ In this case nothing happened. We didn't get an infestation. If we did, then I would have been in trouble....
It's impossible to be 100% honest and never lie... But as far as outright lying to deceive someone I won't do. My parents strongly told me that if I was honest, they'd always be easier on me than if I were to lie and them to find out the truth...
At times I may have gone way too far... Many years ago I accidently lost a queen ant from an ant farm I had... I felt compelled to be honest... I told my mom. She took it surprisingly well. Then a day later she exploaded at the thought of having an ant infestation in the house.
Sometimes it's wise to just keep quiet............ In this case nothing happened. We didn't get an infestation. If we did, then I would have been in trouble....
"It's impossible to be 100% honest and never lie... But as far as outright lying to deceive someone I won't do."
Agreed!!
Agreed!!
You made me think about the job interview and I have to agree your right Ive wanted a job bad at a particular hospital and knowing the way in was to be flexable about working all shifts enthusiastically agreed that was peachy for me when in fact I hate afternoons...but I know after a while I could bump to desired shift so I guess your righ thats lying and does anyone but me have their 12 year old order off the childrens menu when infact its for 10 and under is that not lying? when I think about it I lie like that I dont lie to my friends or family.However I will omit facts that I know will hurt them is that lying?
MJI,
Even the most honest person may not always tell the truth, because our sense of truth is based on our perceptions. Ask several people witnessing a car wreck and you'll find varying stories.
Excellent. This is so true ( lol, not a lie). When responding to certain questions, it is only our perception that we feel is the truth.
I don't like lying, I will avoid it, if at all possible. But I have also found there are times, that it is best for people or situations concerned. I have a Mother who is old and somewhat senile, with some of her questions or situations that come up, telling her a few little lies can make life a little easier on everyone.
I think everyone lies, at some point, some time, whether they realize it or not.
Even the most honest person may not always tell the truth, because our sense of truth is based on our perceptions. Ask several people witnessing a car wreck and you'll find varying stories.
Excellent. This is so true ( lol, not a lie). When responding to certain questions, it is only our perception that we feel is the truth.
I don't like lying, I will avoid it, if at all possible. But I have also found there are times, that it is best for people or situations concerned. I have a Mother who is old and somewhat senile, with some of her questions or situations that come up, telling her a few little lies can make life a little easier on everyone.
I think everyone lies, at some point, some time, whether they realize it or not.
I think lying says more about the liar than the lie. I would hope my friends and family would be honest rather than form a relationship on non trust issues. Ultimately lying is more destructive than constructive.
You are reading content posted in the MedHelp Social Community
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
