I think hot flushes should be given to men! ;-P
I suffered greatly with hot flushes but, am going through some kind of imbalance somewhere, somehow and am seeking out help from a gynecologist for it. I've also had the weight gain...right around the mid-section. Grrrrrr.
I think that most of us will say that the hot flushes and the weight gain are pretty annoying to say the least. Estrogen can cause weight gain but, can help with the hot flushes some. Natural sources of Estrogen (like soy) are less potent but, don't necessarily cause the weight gain. So, perhaps, you may want to try to seek out some help from the healthfood store where they often have some great advice and preparations/supplements that can help with the hot flushes?
The other things you can do are to dress in layers so that you can peel off some when you're in the midst of one, keep caffeine and hot and spicey dishes to a total minimum or cut them out completely, get a fan for your bedroom that you can turn on and off as needed and generally, do some calming things like yoga, stretching, meditation or anything that you find calming as being stressed will also bring them on with more strength and more often.
But, I also agree with the previous poster that getting a blood test to check out your thyroid functions is well worth it. Many of us have thyroid problems and don't even recognize it which can also contribute to making menopausal symptoms worse as well. It can't hurt...well, unless you hate blood tests! LOL
In the meantime, let's send the hot flushes to men....oh...wait...the world would have to come to a grinding halt. ;-P
Soy has estrogen like effects... have you tried drinking vanilla soymilk? You might want to get your thyroid function tested to make sure it is just the lack of (I think) progesterone that is causing your weight gain and not hypothyroidism.