I CAN'T BREATH!!

[drushlow]

I WAS LAYING IN BED TRYING TO FALL ASLEEP AND ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS THIS TIME LAST YEAR I WAS PREGNANT WITH OUR SON 2 DAYS FROM NOW IS HIS BIRTHDAY. I REALLY CAN'T BREATH I MISS HIM SO MUCH. WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO US? PEOPLE IN MY FAMI,Y DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I WANTED HIM WHEN I HAD HIM AND HELD HIM IN MY ARMS LIFELESS AND SO FRAGEL MY ANGEL TOOK A PIECE OF ME WITH HIM. NOW THAT I FOUND OUT I HAVE PCOS I FEEL LIKE GOD IS TELLING ME THAT HAVING KIDS IS NOT FOR ME. I KNOW EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY BUT THIS IS STILL NEW FOR ME I HAVE NEVER FELT PAIN LIKE THIS BEFORE. I MISS OUR SON.....R.I.P BRIAN KIETH RUSHLOW JR. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MOMMY AND DADDY HEART AND UNTIL THE DAY WE MEET AGAIN YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS EVERYDAY.   I LOVE YOU

[smr08]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost a son in 2008 at almost 5 months, reasons unknown, so I can feel your pain. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him and wish he was here with me right now. I also had him cremated and his ashes are in a stuffed teddy bear urn. Time will be on your side, I promise. You will never forget Brian, he will always live on in your heart. He is your Gaurdian Angel and he will help you through this. I wish you peace and if you ever need to talk please pm me.

Lori

[Youngmum20]

I'm so so so sorry for ur loss ((((((HUGS)))))) I don't know wat ur going through but I could just feel it reading ur post it brought that many tears to my eyes in a way Im greatfull mine happind eairly n not late otherwise who knows where I'd be please remember there r so many ppl on here that u can talk to any time including me if u wish my ears r all ur I won't tell wat u want to hear because that's crap words will never help time n love from ur family is the best thing for it I still hurt so bad wen mine was only 5 weeks old once again ((((((HUGS)))))) and lots f baby dust****~~~~~~*****~~~~~~********** and KISSES XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[bernie40]

Please accept a big hug from me, I can really feel your pain through your words.  Have you had any counselling to try and help you through this?  Losing a child is so hard and to have been half-way through your pregnancy must have made it doubly traumatic.  You will get through this sweetheart, it will take time but the pain will ease in time.

More hugs xxx

[ArmyPrincess819]

I'm so sorry for your loss.......Time, time will ease your pain. You will never forget but it will become less painful and more manageable. You are not being punished for anything. It seems like it's punishment but it's just lifes way of saying take some time out and rest and get your heart and body back on track..Time.  Miscarriages affect us all differently but the one common ground is the grief. I have walked in your shoes my situations were different but the dispair and the pain was so similiar. I felt hopeless and uncertain why it was happening to me over and over and over again. At some point I just realized it was happening for a reasons out of my control. I began to look towards the future and focus my engergies on the good things to come. I wish you the best and I truly hope you can find some peace....This is a good start!!!!!

Take care and best wishes to you,

AP

[drushlow]

I LOST HIM AT 20 WEEKSABD I HAD A NUMBER OF THINGS WRONG. I WENT IN TO TE HOSPITAL @ 18 WEEKS I WAS HAVING CONTRACTIONS SO THEY CHECKED ME OUT AND RAN SOME TEST, AND IT SHOWN I HAD A REALLY BAD YEAST AND UTI. I HAD NO SIGNS OF ANYTHING. SO THEY GAVE ME MEDS AND SENT ME HOME. THEN @ AROUND 1AM I STARTED BLEEDING AND HAVING PAINS SO ONCE AGAIN I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL AND WAS CHECKED OUT AGAIN THEY TOLD ME THAT I WAS TO INFLAMED INSIDE THAT GOT A CUT FROM WHEN THEY CHECKED ME BEFORE. SO THEY GAVE ME SOMETHING FOR THEY PAIN AND THAT MADE ME SICK AND WHEN I WENT TO THROW-UP MY WATER BROKE!!!! I WAS FREAKED OUT. SO THEN THEY TOLD ME THAT I WAS LOSING HIM, BUT MY SON WAS NOT COMING LIKE THEY THOUGHT I STOPED CONTRACTING BLEEDING NOTHING WAS HAPPENING. THEY CHECKED ME IN THE HOSPITAL AND HAD ME ON BED REST 24HR IN A TRENDY LEVEL IT WAS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE. THE DOCTORS KEPT A CLOSE EYE ON HIM AND HE WAS FINE IT WAS LIKE NOTHING WAS WRONG. WE HAD A FEW SCARES BUT AFTER A WEEK THEY SENT ME HOME FULL OF BED REST AND NOTHING. SO THAT WENT ON FOR ABOUT A WEEK THEN I HAD MY SON IN THE BATHROOM. HE STILL DIDN'T WANT TO COME ALL THE WAY OUT, THE PLACENTA WAS TILL ATTACHED TO ME. FROM THAT POINT I JUST WANTED EVERYTHING TO BE OVER I WAS JUST TO TIRED SO THEY GAVE ME A PILL THAT HURT LIKE HELL AND THEN IT WAS ALL OVER. SO WE HAD OUR SON CREMATED AND NOW HES IN A TEDDY BEAR URN. IT WAS A LONG PROCESS SORRY SO LONG I COULDN'T REALLY JUST GET TO THE POINT. THE CAUSE OF ME LOSSING HIM IS UNKNOWN THEY COULDN'T GIVE ME A REASON.

[ohboyorgirl]

OMG TEARS!! I am so sorry for what you are going thru! That made me cry cause i know exactly what you are going through. As i told you before my baby also a boy was born early at 23 weeks back in 2003. He lived 10 wonderful days so as you know it was really hard to let him go after sitting many of days & nights in the nicu just watching him praying he would pull through & be ok. Our little angels are up there playing together and watching over us. Just have faith & i know you will be holding a baby in your arms someday again. Even though it doesnt fill the void in your heart from your baby angel Brian, it makes it alittle better. Sending the best of wishes your way. Just get it all out whenever you need to thats what we're here for. Sometimes that helps.

[Youngmum20]

Sorry to hear about ur loss.... Things will get easer fir u n ur DH.. If u don't mind me asking how did u loose ur babe what happind and how far along were u???  Lost of baby dust n wish kisses XXXX