Misscarrage

[june2011baby]

Hi there just looking for some friendly advice from someone who has been i'n this position.

I found out i was pregnant and me and my partner were over the moon we found out when i was just 4 weeks and we were only trying for 2 cycles.

Everything was ok until yesterday i was 8 and a half weeks.i started getting cramp and bleeding went to the hospital and they examined me and said my cervix was still closed gave me pain relief   and told me to go back for an ultrasound today.

I past more blood through the night and clots went i'n today and they told me i had miscarraged and i need a d and c which i have to have tomorrow morning.

I am heart broken and I'm so scared everytime i see the blood it breaks my heart i can't cope i can't even function i have spent today staring into space and crying i really wanted this baby and i did everything i was meant to ate right stopped smoking etc i feel totally lost.

I told all my friends and family i was pregnant and now i need to face them all and say that i have lost it. I feel like I'm going insane has anyone fealt like this am i over reacting and does the d and c hurt any advice would be appreciated
Thank you

[Irish741]

Hi there...sorry for your loss. Your initial descrption of your situation was a mirror image of mine back in June. We too had told people when we found out. The who experience was just horrible. Since I had started bleeding when I went in to see my doc I was never offered a d&c, so I had to endure the 2+ weeks of bleeding and the constant reminder of everything. I had a friend who had been in my shoes a few times and recommended this book which I found VERY helpful (A Doctor's Guide to the Fact - Misscarriage: Why it happens and how best to reduce your risk). If you feel that you are unable to get past why it happened this might be of some help. It really helped me deal with everything and helped me past the saddness.

Take care.

[june2011baby]

Hi again
Thank you for all your comments well the d&c went well apart from the vomiting after the anaesthetic not a nice experience. This is probably the worst experience of my life but I'm glad that it's over with now and i just need to learn to get through this. I still can't face to speek to anyone I've not left the house or answered the phone everyone is calling concerned about me but i can't face anyone my partner is really upset too i keep trying to stay asleep as i can't handle reality i suppose it's just going to take time think i am going to try to conceive again asap thanks for your comments guys x

[rccresswell]

Hi

I am so sorry for your loss.  All of those emotions are normal when you have a miscarriage.  I miscarried on april 13th when I was 14 weeks.  My hubby and I live in another country to our friends and I told all of my friends when I was 13 weeks 5 days thinking I was in the safe zone only to miscarry 2 days later.

My brother came down to see us as soon as he heard the news and comforted me every day along with my husband.  I would collapse on the ground and just cry.  I wouldn't leave the house for about 6 weeks after my miscarriage.

I will tell you that it definately gets easier after your due date passes.  I think it feels like closure and the last time I cried for my son was a day before his due date which was october 12th.  

I would highly recommend speaking to people about it although I am sure others don't really want to hear it but that is what helped me get through it.  

Take care :)

[PetiteWonder]

So sorry for your loss. Its really devestating.  I found out at 12 weeks I had a blighted ovum and had to get a d&c..  it was painless and over within 15 mins.  I felt groggy after because of being put to sleep.  The hardest part was telling people, my mom cried so much it killed me.  its the only reason I wont be sharing my next pregnancy so soon to save them the pain.  I remember calling my work that night to tell them I would not make it in and I barely got through a sentence before bursting into tears. I pretty much said "miscarriage..... *cry*... cant come to work" and hung up.  I sent an email later to my supervisor to make it more clear.   I was reallly blinded sided as I was just starting to feel my uterus and had no warning signs (other than my breast tenderness had started to go away).  Weeks later, i was still having to tell people as I saw them because I just couldnt face making a big annoucement about it.

I still get really sad about it at times.  i havent cried about it lately but its been two months now.  maybe its easier for me now knowing there was never a baby just a sac.. but even when I tell myself that, i still feel like I lost a baby.

What I found helped get me through the first couple days, was I took a small weekend trip away with friends. . Being with people helped me not think about it...

If you are bleeding you may not need a d&c.. it will be over quicker with one but there is a longer recovery period with a d&c and some risks.  You could consider giving yourself a week to try to pass everything naturally.  

[keyakeya]

So sorry for ur loss. I was 7 and half weeks when I miscarried. I had to get a d/c because I was bleeding so heavy. My dr Actually put me to sleep so I felt nothing. I also only bled for 7 days afterwards. But it was a physically painless procedure.

[Vestall]

I feel so sorry for you, for my self...Its really sad and very hard to cope...I am trying for 2 weeks now, but its very, very hard...I just come back to work after 1 week off...It was too difficult for me...I am feeling ok at home with my husband, but not when I need to go to meet people...Even 2day my collegue brought baby boy to show and I couldnt cope and started to cry...
I have had DandC just 1 week ago, I didnt bleed at all, just little cramping, which gone after 3 days...I just want that my body come back to normal now...
This 7 weeks our little baby allways will be in my heart...we done everything...

[Sakinah69]

I am sorry for your loss. I was due in June too, but I lost my baby 1w 5d ago. I was heartbroken, and so was my partner. I couldn't stand to see any of my friends or family and every time I would hear a car pull up near my house I would run for my room, hoping it wasn't anyone I knew. I couldn't bare to see their sad faces or to hear their sorries. Sorries don't make it better. I am feeling better now, but I am still heartbroken, however I keep it on the inside where no-one can see.

[Scout8601]

I'm really sorry.  I know how devestaing this is.  With my first mc, I layed on the sofa and cried for 2 weeks.  I felt like dying.  Then I cried everytime I saw a baby, a pregnant woman, or went past the baby department at the store.  It wasn't until my due date passed that I started feeling 100% back to normal.  
I had a d&c and it didnt' hurt at all.  I didn't hurt afterwards either and I only bled a little, maybe 3 days.  So sorry you are going thru all this.

[Higgins1107]

Im sorry for your loss.. I know how hard it is.. I mc at 18wks hardest time of my life.. D&C does not hurt at all.. They put u to sleep and when u wake up its all over.. U will have a little cramping and will bleed after for about 2wks.. again im sorry