Still Trying

[Missy0826]

I miscarried in December and still have been unable to conceive again.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  I have tried the basal thermometer, that is how I finally became pregnant the first time, but now that isn't even working for me!
I am becoming very frustrated and extremely sad.  Would of had the baby next month, the closer the date comes, the harder it is to deal with the fact that I can't get pregnant :<

Thanks

[mikaelajo]

I am so sorry for what you are going thru. I have been ttc for 2 yrs, and have had 2 m/c in the past 6 mos. I have used preseed and opks, too, and they have really helped for me.
I started using preseed last fall, and I got a bfp the second month after starting preseed, after 18 mos of trying. Don't know if it was really the preseed or just luck, but I will continue to use it just in case (my RE says its a waste of money, but maybe he is wrong...). From what I understand, the sperm normally survive by swimming in the cm of the woman, but some women don't produce very much cm, and that's where preseed can help b/c it is like adding extra cm. Also other lubricants including saliva can kill sperm, but preseed doesn't.
After the first year of bfn I started charting and doing opks. I really wish I had started charting sooner - I found out that I usually ovulate late, which I had no idea about before. At first I tried using regular opk's for a few months, but I had a lot of trouble getting those to work for me (maybe b/c I thought they weren't picking it up, but really I hadn't o'd yet since I o late). I ended up buying a clearblue easy fertility monitor machine, and that has worked absolutely great. It is pretty expensive ($150 for the machine online and then $50 every 3 mos for the sticks) but for me it has been totally worth it. Finally know when I'm ovulating and 2 bfp's in the past 6 mos! (both natural even though I am seeing an RE). Now I just have to get one to stick...
Good luck to you!

[smr08]

Missy, from what I understand it's a safe lubricant and helps the swimmers to get to where they need to be;) Good luck to you, i'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

                 Lori

[ArmyPrincess819]

Missy- I didn't realize until I saw my dh fall apart in the hospital with our last m/c. All these yrs he just bottled it up inside the same way I did and then I saw yes it hurts them just as much as it does for us. My dh and I have been in therapy since dec and he sees his own therapist as well and so do I. It is hard on these guys they are watching the women they love struggle and every month being let down themselves my dh would get so excited and would get so giddy and then I would have a m/c and his world would shatter and the whole time he was holding it in. Now he just deals with the pain rigtht away we have had a rollercoaster ride with this pg and he just deals and knows I'm here for him just as much as he is here for me. When you can talk with him let him know you love him and he is your best friend let him know it's okay to talk to you and open up to you! He may say he is fine so don't push the issue but leave the door open he will go through it when he is ready. But yes our husband's hurt as much if not more. It is their baby too that they are losing. That baby is half of them. I wish you both the best and good luck to you!

AP

[Missy0826]

Thanks everyone!  I should have joined a group like this months ago.  It is really comforting talking with others who have been in the same situation.  DMarie, thanks for that site, I just read through it and I am going to try it, it's worth a shot.

Lori, I read some sites on Pre-seed.  Is it to help you get pregnant or is it just a lubricant that is safe to use while trying to get pregnant?  I didn't really understand.

ArmyPrincess, you just made me realise something really important. This whole time I have been angry inside at my husband, thinking that he doesn't understand how I feel because he already has a son from a previous marriage and has had the experience of having a child and I have not.  I thought that there could be no way that it bothered him near as much.  Thanks for opening my eyes to this!

Missy

[ArmyPrincess819]

I'm sorry for your loss. I have had 6 m/cs and it took me 2 1/2 yrs to finally have a pg take. I'm now 31 wks pg. I have 3 children and despite the complications during the pg and deliveries I assumed it was not an issue for me to become pg. My dr at the time felt with my age I didn't need any intervention. It was a nightmare and in the middle of it I ended up with ovarian surgery. Through it all I remained positive and knew I would have my 4th and my family would be complete. There were many days and months I wanted to throw in the towel. Sometimes you are sorely misunderstood when you already have kids and getting upset that you can't seem to have another one. There is a ton of help out there and if maybe I had given some things a chance like opks etc I would have had him alot sooner. I was convinced it was something I was doing and didn't want to accept that it was out of my control. I realized after my last m/c in sept I needed to talk and get some support and info to try to figure out what was going on. For me it was my undiagnosed urinary tract infections for me it was causing my losses last yr and not allowing me to become pg. For everyone it's different but for me I finally got some answers. I also found out along the way I was ovulating later than most women so that is why I bd'd everyday but again with the help of an opk life would have been alittle easier. I wish you the best. Ttc can be quite frustrating and can leave you feeling total dispair. Try to keep your chin up. Good luck and keep me posted....

AP

[DMarie919]

Missy: I am sorry for your loss.  I had a m/c in Feb. and am just starting to try this month.  I never had to try other methods for conceiving but I am also feeling desperate and trying to do everything possible to get the BFP ASAP!  I am trying the Sperm Meets Egg Plan...here is a link to give you information.  I was skeptical about the OPK's but I have known many women to swear by them and I just got a + yesterday so I am hoping they work for me too.  Good luck and we're always here to talk if you need...
http://www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm

[smr08]

Missy, I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my son in Oct. and have been trying since Dec. with no luck as of yet. With your EDD approaching that makes it even harder, many of us were hoping to have our BFP before that dreaded day. I never charted or anything, but now i'm getting a little desperate. A good friend of mine told me about pre-seed, I haven't tried it yet, but if I don't get lucky this month i'm giving it a try next month. I wish you all the luck!
                                Lori