What to do after a miscarriage

[rebel9210]

I found out the other day that i've miscarried my first baby. I feel like nothing is going right and feel depressed constantly and had to fight crying, especially in front of people who don't know. I'm unsure what to do next. How long could i wait before trying for another baby? how long usually after do you get your period? how did anyone else feel? and how long usually does it take to heal?

Any advice would be appreciated

G xx

[adgal]

I am sorry some of the comments have hurt you. I think sometimes people think they are helping, but it makes it worse.  Most of the time these are people close to you who love you and just can't stand to see you hurting.  I remember my mil saying to me (after my 3rd or 4th loss)..."well, lots of couples are happy without children".  I knew she meant well, but it crushed me.  I find the best thing to do is be honest and let them know their comments are not helping.  Take care and take the time you need to go through the emotions you need to.  Allow yourself to grieve.

((hugs))

[rebel9210]

thank you so much xx

[LisaL18]

I am so sorry for your loss!  Hang in there, only time can help.  I know like others have said the first few weeks were the worst.  After time, it gets better, until one of  your friends is pregnant, then you are happy for them and sad for yourself.  I have gone through all the emotions, sadness, anger, wondering why, it is difficult.  Get a good support system with your friends and family and this site may help too.

I lost my little boy in July and it is becoming difficult again as he would be born in a couple of weeks, so I think about how it would have been.  But in time I know it will be better.  

Those who say crazy things, just do not understand and you should not listen to them.

I wish you well and hope you feel better soon.

[Jhanee]

People are very cruel sometimes even when they are trying to help. I have begun ask them if their child should die what would it matter I mean they did grow really know them they had yet to grow and live a full life. Your child is yours and very real out or end the womb. Teh bond is there  and the love is real. Know your feels are real and never be afraid to stop someone  from making an ignorant statement. I think it is really better if people say nothing at all. As you can see I have no tolerance for this particular topic. It happen to me to often. I have told people you do not understand and you are not helping. I come here often for understanding and comfort.

I will be praying for you. God Bless.

[rebel9210]

Thanks for all your responses! I really appreciate it and to hear about your own personal experiences.
I have had another comment relating to this from someone who just doesnt understand what its like going through a miscarriage and how painful it is to go through. They said things like 'it was alive so how can you miss it' and 'just go make another one'. I dont know how someone could say something like that. I love my baby more than anything and I know I'll never forget him/her.
Thanks for all your comments :) xx

[Vestall]

I am really sorry for your loss..I went through this as well..21 of October I had DandC..First week was the worst just tears and nothing else..And slowly, slowly with husbands and family support I come back to normal...When its happend we was thinking TTC straight away, but later we decided that we want my body to give time to heal after mmc...Just last week I have got my af, it was one more sign, that my body come back to normal...
Every day I am feeling better..I know that this baby gonna be in my heart for the rest of my life..i am ready TTC again, but in Jan I need to go through one more surgery, so we need to wait..
Try to be strong this difficult time xx

[rccresswell]

Hey
I am so sorry for your loss.  All of the emotions are completely normal.  I also went a bit hay wire after my miscarriage.  I cried everytime my hubby and I had intercourse for about 4 weeks, I refused to leave the house for 4 weeks or see anyone and when I finally left the house it was 6 weeks after my miscarriage.  I would collapse on the ground, hit my husband for no reason and just cry all day.  

I will say it definately does get easier as the weeks pass.  I lost my son on april 13th and his due date was oct 12th.  I will say once his due date passed I stopped crying but never forgot him.  We were fortunate enough to get him back so we buried him in a pot plant.  I also asked my mother in law to finish his cross stitch, I took photos of him and all of the flowers I got.  It's funny it makes me teary eyed just writing this.


I got my first af 5 and a half weeks after my msicarriage.  Because I had a natural miscarriage with no complications I was told I could start trying as soon we were ready.  We didn't try straight away but instead waited for my first af.  We tried the second month and I am now 28 weeks pregnant.  This pregnancy was very hard in the beginning because of my son but it has made it easier to cope with my loss.

You will find a way through this.  Just stay strong and cry when you need to :)
Take care

[twinbabies]

Hey! I am so sorry for your loss :-(
I was pretty much a basket case the first two weeks, actually the second week after my miscarriage was worst than the first for me. You are dealing with so much emotionally, and physically and then your hormones are all out of wack. It was really a difficult time for me. I am very thankful that I found this site because it has really helped me process what happened. It is also nice to talk to people who are going through the same thing.

My MC was four weeks ago, and I just got AF for the first time. My doctor told me to wait until I got my first cycle and then we could TTC. I hope you find some healing on this site like I did. Good luck on TTC again, I am sure you will get a BFP soon. Stay positive.

Take Care
XXOO

[Jhanee]

I am sorry for your loss. Loss is a very hard thing and we all handle it differently. You have a right to feel the way you do. It happened to me in March. I took each second as it came. I reminded myself it was not my fault. I surrounded myself with positive things. I also did feel good things like go see a funny movie, shopping, and read only things that would make me smile. The best thing was joining this group. The people here give good advice and they know exactly how you feel. Also seeking professional help is not a bad thing. I talk to someone and it helped. As for TTC again consult your doctor and make sure you are mentally and physically ready. Once you  begin to try do not think about how long it will take. Some people it is immediate. For me it was six months. I am 14weeks and praying. As for healing it just doesn't hurt as much anymore. I remember the my loss and it hurts still, but I know I can make it. Take your time and breath through it and when you need to cry do it.

God Bless and Good Luck