Numb and in Denial

[DaniDee]

I really need support.  


I have been TTC for over 10 years and never got pg on my own. IUI's, 6 IVF's, and one DS later I woke up pg last month unexpectedly! What I thought was a miracle has turned into the saddest and hardest part of our TTC journey. I am in tears writing this...

It's not good news. There is a baby-or the start of one, but they still haven't seen/heard the heartbeat. My Beta is still rising and is over 11,000 now and I am approx. 7 weeks at this point. I go in next on Tuesday to be sure before we consider our options. I am stll numb and do not want to make any decisions, I want to leave it in the hands of nature. This is by far the hardest part of my TTC journey. I am not miscarrying naturally at this point, but the Dr. wants me to end the pregnancy. I am scared of scaring from a D&C. I am scared of making the wrong decision.

Thank you!

[DaniDee]

Thanks guys,

I am really just numb. The Dr. has been speaking about a D&C since my 2nd scan 2 weeks ago, which I felt was way to premature and irresponsible. I also had no idea when I ovulated or implanted b/c I had pretty much exhausted my IVF funds in June and quit TTC. We were just "having fun" enjoying each other and I felt "weird" took a HPT and it was positive. on 11/19 my first beta was 317. So no idea when I implanted, but they are counting 11/19 as week 4.

So the Dr. has been talking about a D&C since my 2nd appt which I felt was way to premature. My last scan showed a growing sac, rising beta, no cramps and no bleeding. There is growth in the sac, but the dr. didn't elaborate- I think they don't want to give me false hope. I really wish I hadn't gone to the RE for early testing. I am really scared and heartbroken over making the decision to end the pregnancy after trying so hard for so long. I am holding onto hope although I know in my mind it doesn't look likely, but in my heart I can't give up.  

I am so sorry for all you have both gone through and I thank you for being strong enough to share your thoughts and experiences with me and to help me through this.

Queenspade- I will be praying for you and a good scan on Wednesday

[adgal]

I am so very sorry.  It can seem like a cruel joke can't it...we get pregnant only to have it taken away.

I will be honest..at 7 weeks they should be able to see the heartbeat.  Was the sac measuring correctly?  Sometimes the unknown is even harder then the reality, and I desperately hope you get the answers you are looking for this tuesday.

Should it not be good news, you do not have to have a D&C if you don't want to.  Sometimes it just takes time for our bodies to realize what has happened and to miscarry naturally.  That was the case with me this last time.  The baby had stopped growing at 5 1/2 weeks, but I didn't start to miscarry until I should have been 7 1/2 weeks.  

A D&C can become necessary if after a certain point you do not miscarry naturally, or if bleeding gets extremely heavvy.  But most times we can do this on our own, so don't be afraid to question him on why he want's you to have a D&C.

As for scarring...yes it is potentially a risk ,but most times D&C's are very safe will no ill effects.  I have had 2 and it did not impact my ability to conceive or have a child.

I wish you well.  Please take care of yourself.

[queenspade]

I can relate to all of your feelings. DH & I have been TTC for 3 years now.  We had 2 second trimester losses & 2 chemical pregnancies.  I am now 7 weeks & 2 days pregnant.  I have had weekly u/s & all that is showing is an empty sac.  My beta last time it was checked was 38,952, my pregnancy symptoms are stilll strong.  I have no spotting, no cramping & just FEEL pregnant.  I am going back next Wednesday for a repeat u/s to see if anything has shown up.  My dr. has already mentioned scheduling a D&C, & I am having a hard time with that.  I wish that I could get a sign that this pregnancy was ending on it's own.  I will tell you that I have had 2 D&C's & they have not effected my ability to conceive.  If you aren't ready to end your pregnancy, then wait another week or so, that way you can see for yourself & maybe feel somewhat better with your decision.  That is what we are going to do.