When does it start to get easier

[june2011baby]

Hi ladies just wondering when you started to feel better emotionally after a misscarrage i had a d&c on the 30th I'm still an emotional wreck everytime i leave the house i break down i go to asda and all i see is babies everywhere then i start to have panic attacks it just comes over me sometimes how real this is and I'm struggling i need to be i'n form got my final exams for Uni at the end of the month and next month and i can't even pick up a book I'm so irritable all the time and I'm nipping at my partner i hate how I'm becoming i know it's not even been 2 weeks but is this normal or am i loosing my mind any advise would be much appreciated thank you

[fatmad]

Hi, Im going through my 3rd miscarriage right now.. Id say the 1st one I was really down for about 2 weeks.. the 2nd was more difficult to over come cuz i didnt think it cud happen two times in a row .. and the 3rd one I just accepted wat was happpening to me the the min i saw that 1st drop of blood..

I just weep wen i feel sad.. sob like anything.. i feel lighter. I believe in God, so I seek refuge in Him and pray alot for my emotional and physical recovery. none of my family members except my partner know so i cant really talk about it to anyone. but i feel i dont have to either.. I remind my self that God has bigger plans for me.

they way my life has fanned out for me.. i have had really low times in my life before and I couldnt understand it at the time, why, why me? but alot of good came out of it. A whole lot more than I d ever imagined for myself. SO Im being really positive for my recent losses with the same hope that I will go on and have more children ( I already have a 2 yr old son) and good things will happen to me in good time !

The key is to digest the emotions ur feeling and dont mask them with anything. Im was surrounded by preggi women in my community all 3 times. But im hopeful and I ll stay positive !

Wish you well.

[Tarobinc]

I am sorry for your loss. It's so hard. I was barely pregnant when I m/c last month but I still carry the loss with me. It strikes at odd times and I find myself envious of every pg women I see or hear about even though (thankfully) I have my dd who is 21 months.

You are a mommy the second you find out that your little bean is there. And then in what feels like one long breath, you find out you are no longer a mommy to that little bean. It is devasting.To me, it was one of my worst fears that surfaced. I mourned the loss of my baby and what the future would be with that baby.  Once I realized it was so much more than the physicial loss, I started to heal emotionally.

[shasy03]

I have to say it gets easier but you are never emotionally the same.  I have had 5 miscarriages now and with each one I have felt different.  The first I was shocked I didn't know I was pregnant and at that time was not trying so it didn't affect me the way the others had...I had no clue I was pregnant.  My 2nd I found out and 3 days later had a miscarriage.  My 3rd I was 8 weeks when I miscarried and measured 6 weeks and I had to have a d&c becuase of blood clotting issues. My 4th was in August of this year...I knew a total of almost 3 weeks and lost it.  My 5th was the 9th of November.  My second, third and fourth I was heartbroken.  Don't get me wrong over the 5th I was too....however, I have not hit emotional yet.  

I work in a child care center in the infant room.  I've had my moments my ups and downs.  You will get through them...but it never gets easy.  You will always remember those days and you will get emotional.  It's part of being a Mom, whether you have a child alive or miscarriage..you are a Mom.  

Just remember to keep faith and know that one day you can have that.  We have determined mine is a progesterone and MTHFR issue going on.  See you doctor and see what is the next step they suggest for you.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Vestall]

I am really sorry for your loss..I know how its difficult for you...Thats good that you start talk about it and came to this website..Ladies here are very supportive..Thats why I am here as well..I had mmc 3 weeks ago and still very difficult for me...I am every morning wake up with the same - why?
Like you said people dont know what to say...but you can talk with people who went or going trough this..They gonna understand more differetly...
I think we need just a little bit more time to move on...Take it easy..if you want to cry, cry..if you want to shout, shout...
Take care x

[twinbabies]

I miscarried twins on Friday November 5th I was 9 weeks and they measured at 7 & 1/2 weeks. It has been less than two weeks. I went back to work the following Monday. My husband, friends, and co-workers are very supportive, but none of them really understands what this is like. I feel like I have no one to talk to because they cannot relate. Whenever I mention the miscarriage they quickly change the subject. They just don't know what to say. I hope after my post-op appointment this Thursday, I will be able to get some closure and move on. It is nice to find a place where everyone understands what I am going through.

[PetiteWonder]

I feel like I handled it very well given the circumstances.  It was not easy at all but a month after, I was feeling more myself again.  I had to suck it up and return to work 3 days after my d&c, and it was hard seeing babies, mothers, all that fun stuff...

It is still hard at times, I am comfortable talking about the miscarriage with people I know, though everyone gets really uncomfortable about it when I mention it like I shouldnt be acknowledging that it happens.  Its easy to mention with the people who know about it. But just the other day, someone who knew I was pregnant but we dont talk frequesntly, commented that she is disappointed not to see more Belly in my pictures... I dont know, something about telling new people brings back the pain.

[mjmom69]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's so hard. As the other ladies said it just takes time. You will be able to function again. It will always be there but you learn to work around it. I was getting better but the closer the due date gets the harder it is getting again. Nothing like the 1st month though. You'll go thru alot of different emotions but you have to go thru them to get better. Try to relax and just let yourself be sad for awhile and you will feel better at some point. Do the things that make you happy and talk to your partner and let him know how you feel. I still have days where I feel like I am a horrible, mean person but if your partner knows, he can adjust and you two will be ok, together. Take care.

[Scout8601]

After my first mc I was a wreck for a long time.  I cried off and on and everytime I saw a preg woman or a baby or baby items.  I think I was mostly back to normal when my due date finally passed. And then a month after that i found myself crying when i saw a month old baby, thinking that should have been me with my baby.  It's so hard.  I'm so sorry you have had this happen too.  It will get better, easier, but it takes time and sometimes lots of time.    

[rccresswell]

Hey june2011baby

I am so sorry for your loss.  All of the emotions you are feeling are completely normal.  I was a complete wreck after my micarriage.  For about 8 weeks after my miscarriage I cried every time after intercourse with my husband.  I refused to leave the house for the first 6 weeks and only let my friends see me about 5 weeks after my miscarriage.  I would collapse on the ground and start crying and then I would start throwing stuff around the house and hit my husband for no reason.

I think I am only just coming right emotionally.  I miscarried on the 13th of april and my son's due date was the 12 october.  I am still a bit emotional at times more so because I am 25 weeks pregnant and I am petrified I am going to lose this baby as fast as I lost my son.

All of the emotions you are feeling are completely normal.  I spoke to a councillor after my miscarriage and that made me feel a lot better.  She gave me manageable steps to get me out of the house such as taking my kids into my back yard, walking to the letterbox.  

You just need to take small steps.  A journal was a blessing for me.  We also got my son back and buried him ina  pot plant with a plant so that he was always close to us.  I also have a photo of him and I took photos of all the flowers we were given.  When I was pregnant with him my mother in law made a cross stitch for him and I asked her to finish which she reluctantly did.  I keep lots of things around the house which remind me of him.

You will get there it all takes time :)