Why do miscarriages happens?

[Sand339]

Hi,I am new to this site this is my third miscarriage,this time I was 6 weeks,I feel ****, mu hubby and I have no children,he is so supportive and sweet,loing and comforts me,I a feel like the one natural thing for a woman is to bare a child I can't even do that,I feel so empty inside,I am not sure if I will let myself get pregnant again,I don't know haow I would be able to deal with another lost.

[marie1210]

I so know how much this stinks.  I'm going through my 4th miscarriage as we speak.  This one made it to about 8 weeks and it never gets any easier.  The good news is, my 4th pregnancy went well and gave me a beautiful daughter.  It's hard to tell people I've had 5 pregnancies but only one baby.  =(  I have a chromosome abnormality and still managed to have a healthy child.  Keep trying, it can be done.  That's what I tell myself anyway.  I'm going to try again because I can't let anything stop me from giving my daughter a little brother or sister.  This last m/c was the most difficult b/c I chose not to have a d&c and I saw everything.  Needless to say, I'll be waiting a couple of months but I will try again.  Good luck to you, I know how much you are hurting.  I'm feeling that pain right now.  Take care and remember, we're always here to talk.  

[Khryssie77]

Hi, I am sorry for your losses.... I also have had three miscarriages- my most recent was on February 15 and I was 9 weeks. Its so devestating and its so hard to pick yourself back up after it happens. Especially since I really want to have a baby. All my friends and co-workers seem to be getting pregnant around me and I feel like I get punched in the stomach every time I hear someone spread their good news. My husband and I both ahd our chromosones tested and we are both fine. I have PCOS, but am treating it with Metformin, which seems to be working fine. I also have used clomid to get pregant. I took my first round of it in June of 08 and it worked, but I miscarried in August of 08 at 7 weeks and then took it again October, November and December of 08 and finally got pregnant again in December of 08 to miscarry in Feb 09.  When they did the fetal testing on the last miscarriage I found out it was turners syndrome. Its where an X chromosone doesnt form completely in females. Its the most common cause of diagonsed miscarriage- so i am told. Unfortunately, my other two miscarriages were not tested so I do not know the cause, but since all my genetics were tested and were fine- the dr said that it resulted from a bad sperm.... even though  my husband was tested and he is fine, i am told that there could still be a bad one in the batch and unfortunately, that was the one that got me pregnant. keep your chin up and keep trying..... its horrible having a miscarriage over and over, but it will be so rewarding and worth everything you put into it once you get to hold your first born for the first time...... I am still hoping, praying and trying for that moment  :)

[kristine625]

I'm 39 and am going through my third miscarriage.  I ask myself the same question every day-  why do they happen?  I don't even know if I will get any clear answers this time because I have an empty gestational sac.  I do not know if they will have any tissue to test.

Nevertheless, I am going through a lot of the same feelings that you are.  In fact I flat out said, that's it.  Three in a row, I can't do this anymore.  Why do I have to put myself through all of this physical and emotional pain over and over and over?  First I get pregnant and am sick because of the pregnancy, then it fails and I go through a bunch of emotional stuff, then the physical d&c or pass it on my own...  But then I think if not having children at all, that is a pain and emptiness that is much more unbearable than continuing to try.

My sister keeps telling me what a wonderful mother I would be and God would not allow me to not have children.  I understand what she is saying and appreciate her kind thoughts.  But whether or not I would be a good mother really doesn't have anything to do with it.  If it's going to miscarry, it's going to miscarry.

Then, my friend keeps telling me how another friend of hers was not able to have kids because of a genetic abnormality.  I keep telling her we've been tested and so far, I don't have any indication that we have a genetic issue.  But she keeps bringing that up.  Like I really need to hear that.

I guess my point is- it's a crazy thing.   I wanted you to know that others are going through it.  The thoughts and feelings are all normal, whatever those feelings are for you, they are normal.  Let yourself go through it.  You will come out on the other side.

[ArmyPrincess819]

Welcome to the miscarriage community. I'm sorry for your loss. I know the empty feeling and dispair a miscarriage can cause you to feel. I'm so glad your dh is supportive right now you need as much of that as you can get. Sometimes no matter what we do or say nothing makes us feel better. All we have is time, Time to heal and find a way to manage our grief. I had my last m/c last yr in sept and it just damaged me in a way I couldn't block out see that was my way of dealing with my losses (6). I couldn't do it anymore I had to talk to other women who walked in my shoes or were in my shoes. I needed to know I'm not alone and that I didn't do anything wrong. You did nothing don't beat yourself up. Try to keep your chin up a good friend of mine on here I will use her quote " If you think positve thoughts positive things will happen". At the time she told me it didn't sink in I was grieving but as the grief became less brutal it made sense to me! I hope you feel better soon. In time you will fee yourself again and you will know what the next step in your life you need to take. For now try to rest and let your body heal be sure to stay well hydrated and follow up with your dr. Take care and I'm always here if you need to talk!

AP

[Destiny_Hope]

I am sorry for your loss, I also have had two m/c in a row in the last 7mths.
I think we all ask this question, and as for my self after a number of test still have no answer:(
I tell myself to get through this that my babys were perfect so god took them home.

I dont like to refer other site on different sites, but i am a member of fertiltyties.com and the community there is a great surport, with live chat and may ppl have been through the same thing, this site gets me through the day, and the ladys are wonderful.

I really hope you get some answers..

Good Luck!!

[crissy578]

Hi, I am terribly sorry for your loss. To answer your question, I asked my doctor the same question. His response was that sometimes it's just God's way of telling you not yet. He also told me that it could be because of chromosomal abnormalities, or problems implanting. I know that you are having a hard time dealing with this, but on the up side of things, I have a best friend who has had 4 miscarriages, and carried her 5th baby full term and healthy. I found that this site helps a lot whenever you need someone to talk to.