miscarrage at 21 weeks

[mma555]

This may sound a bit selfish to some of you, but I was wondering how long does it take to stop feeling so sad about having a still birth at 21 weeks?  I recently went through this and I play it strong for my family and friends. At night or when I'm alone thats when I fell so alone, so sad that I no longer have my litle boy with me. I used to talk to my unborn baby well you know how they say they can hear your voice an all.  Well I made sure mine knew from the beginning that he was loved.  The doctor has no idea of why it happen the baby was fine two weeks before kicking and rolling around and making his daddy proud by not being shy and it came time to show his gender on my 19 week ultrasound app.  And then a week later we find out he does'nt have a heartbeat.  Two days later I gave birth to him, I got to hold him, give him his first and last kiss.  He was the most beutifull baby I'd ever seen.  Now all I can think about is that my first child is going to be berried before me, and thats something that a parent should never have to do.

[sme1spcl]

My prayers are with you all! I am so deeply sorry that you all had to endure such a heartbreaking tradegy.  I had a miscarriage two weeks ago and did not know it. A d&c was performed this past  Tuesday. This would have been the first child for me and my husband. I know this do not compare to what you have experienced. But I pray to GOD that he will bless you with beautiful babies and heal your broken heart.  

If you feel you need prayer there are several website that you can go to or even call and they will pray for you.

They are  silent unity, CBN and candlelight .org.  I use them all the time when I have storms in my life.

[mma555]

Thanks for answering to my question, its true what you've all have wrote back it hurts, and it basically *****.  I mean I started cring because I was able to see my toes for the first time in two mths when standing.  I tried to look good and fit before I got pregnant, using nice tight clothes and always wanting to look good for my boyfriend.  But I've never looked more beutifull as I did when I was pregnant, all the strechy pants and baggy shirts, even the nasty strech marks that were starting to appear, I looked beutifull.  Now I've lost some of the weight and startig to fit into some of my old stuff, its just so deppresing that emty feeling in my belly, missing the butterfly felling of the baby kicking.  But I know it will get better and easier.  My son's name is Christopher Blake and even though he never got to see or experiance this life outside I know that where ever he is, is a lot better and happier place then here.  And hopefully many yrs from now I'll get to see him again he will for ever live with me.  I had him cremated his ashes are in front of my window I figured he would have loved the snow we are getting up north.  Come summer I plan to let his ashes go in a lake or a river or a strong wind that way he will be part of my life every time look at a stong wind or river witha strong current or in a peaceful lake he will be all around me no matter what.  Thank you all once again for all of the postins they really did hep.... Thank You

[mew01]

mma555- I had forgotten to write- I am sorry for your loss.  As well as for all of those who lose their baby. It's a sad thing that so many women have gone through. It does help to talk to someone who has gone through losing a pregnancy/baby.  I had several who cried and grieved with me, and I didn't feel so alone.

[mew01]

I've suffered 2 fetal demise/stillbirths. One at 21 weeks and the other at 23 weeks. Both boys. The last was May 2009.  I can understand your grief. It will take time, but the pain does lessen.  You never forget your baby. With our first, I didn't even have time to look at cemeteries-he did and brought the digital camera so that I could see. They are buried in a little cemetery just over a mile from us. I've been blessed with several good pregnancies-had 2 healthy little girls between the sons I lost. The second was such a shock, as it wasn't expected to happen again, besides the grief-there was anger, which has also passed. We had genetic testing done-everything came back okay. Babies were okay. I cherish the photos, their hat's....I have their feet and hand prints.  

[teachnz]

I am sitting here crying after reading this.....I lost my little girl at 22 weeks last month.....like your little guy she was moving around like crazy on the u/s on Monday and Friday night I delivered her at home in the bathroom, not knowing what was happening......that was the most painful and scariest thing I have experienced.......
Not a morning goes by i don't wake up thinking and dreaming about her......some days the pain is so strong and real that I feel like it is still happening......I think about her all the time.....there is such an emptiness in my heart and my life has changed so much without her......
my husband and i buried her a week after she was born.....the memories of that day are still fresh with me.....it was the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my life.....but I did it...
I grieve for her everyday, I talk to her, I kiss her dress she was given in the ER, and carry it with me everywhere, as well as her hospital tag......I find some consolence in having something of hers with me....
I don't know when to tell you the pain will stop, because it has been 5 weeks since she left me, and I still hurt and crry everyday.....howver it is a little less today than yesterday and less yesterday than two days ago, and even more less than two weeks ago.....I guess the old saying of "time heals" is true.......time is helping me heal.....not forget but heal.....
I will add you to my prayer list....I hope that you find support through this.....let others carry part of that burden and pain.....
Always here to talk if you need....  Kristen

[smr08]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My story is similar, I was almost 5 months along when I found out that my babies heart stopped beating, I was induced and delivered a beautiful baby boy on 10/17/08, the hardest day of my life. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, but with time the pain eases. I think there will always be an emptiness in my heart that will ache for him. Everyone handles a loss differently so it's hard to say how long you will feel this way, but I do promise it will get easier. When did you lose you precious little boy? If you ever need to talk please know that i'm always around.     Lori

[ArmyPrincess819]

I just can't tell you enough how truly and deeply sorry I'am. I'm here if you need to talk. In my own experiences I guess I was so traumatized by the grief I kind of buried it. I was so afraid of really dealing with it because I just didn't want to hurt again. I had my last m/c in 9/08 and turned to this website and by doing so that allowed me to open up and begin to deal with my pain. I also went to therapy as well. There really is not time frame when you feel better , time is really the key. Over time the pain becomes less envasive and becomes more manageable. I don't think we ever completely heal but we can move on from the pain and put it behind us. I wish there was some way I could instantly make you feel better. I don't have that power but what I do have is an understanding of your pain. I hope with everyday that goes by you begin to feel alittle better. I'm just so sorry . What is your son's name? I wish you the best. Take care....


AP