what to expect?

[sweetpea03]

I had a positive pregnancy test this morning and hours later had heavy bleeding with severe cramps. I went to the doctors and they confirmed that I was having a miscarriage and said I would pass it naturally. They want to see me in a week to make sure everything is ok. Earlier tonight, I passed what looked like a fleshy material, so I am assuming that was it. I am not sure how this all happens. Is it over then, since I think it passed? I'm really upset about all of this. I've never been pregnant before/had a miscarriage before. This is all new to me. How long does it normally take? I'm just scared of the whole process. I guess I'm looking for some insight and experiences.

[sweetpea03]

Another question:

How long should the bleeding last? I feel like the bleeding is already almost down to nothing, which is odd to me. I'm going back to the doctors on friday, so should I bring that up? Not sure what the normal length of time is. If it's a short amount of bleeding does it mean I didn't expel everything.

[sweetpea03]

No, no blood clotting disorder that I know of. I can't use hormonal birth control because of a congenital malformation I was born with. It causes me physical pain and growth in the malformation. I had tried taking the birth control pill, since no doctor knew exactly how I would react to it, but was told to stop or I would cause a lot more harm than good. When we plan to start a family, I'll probably go in for testing. I had always been worried I can't have kids, as I have 2 aunts who could never get pregnant and have similar period problems to me. I don't know the details on what exactly they have, but it's something I would want to find out eventually. Though I am hoping I won't be like them and be able to have my own children.

[shand78]

I was just curious, does your inability to use hormonal bc have anything to do with a blood clotting disorder? If so ,that is a big cause of miscarriages. I just wanted to comment on that, because when the 2 of you get settled and decide to start your family for real, you will want to address that with your doc before trying.

[sweetpea03]

My boyfriend and I were so careful. We always used protection(him wearing a condom, I can't use hormonal BC), so I'm at a loss for how it happened in the first place. We've talked about getting married and having kids a few years down the road, probably 3 years. I would be out of school and into my profession, and by then he would have moved up at the job he has now. I know we could have handled having a baby now, even though I'm not exactly ready for that. My cousin recently just had her baby 2 weeks ago and I keep seeing images of him in my head, thinking about what my own child would have looked like.

[StephRox13]

You have had a rough week. Sorry hunny. Being a college student & finding out your pg would be tough, then losing it, I'm sure you feel some relief that you won't have to tell your parents & deal with the pregnancy & baby & school but also some guilt & sadness cuz you did have life growing inside you something that was yours even for a little while & you lost it. The only thing I can tell you is to give yourself some time to heal, take care of yourself, reflect & take better care with sex in the future. I'm not gonna say you're lucky to have lost the baby but take advantage of the situation, get done with school, get done being a "kid" , living life before you start being responsible for another life. I was 23 (probably older than you), in college, living with my family, when I got pregnant with my son. My boyfriend then, husband now weren't planning having babies yet, we just started dating a few months back. He was just finishing up school & I still had a 2ish years yet before I had my degree. But I'm 32 now and I still haven't got my degree yet. I am working, I have great benefits, but Im not doing what I WANT to be doing, I could be making mor money instead of living paycheck to paycheck. I don't mean to lecture but Im hoping you can and will get the most out of life & have your dreams. Don't get me wrong my son is the best thing I've ever created. & when you have a kid planned or not planned they change your life for the better. You restructure your goals, dreams around your kids. He's 9 & is a constant reminder that miracles do happen even when I'm ready to drop kick him ;) but I do wish I had finished school so I could provide for him better. Trust me he ain't lacking in toys & junk he's spoiled rotten being an only kid but you know, I wish I could give him more.

Ok I'm done.  ;) If you need to talk, I'm here.  hit me up. Keep me updated in how you're doing. Take care. I'll leave you my email address in messages if you want to get in touch again.

[sweetpea03]

Thanks. I didn't even want to be pregnant(I'm a college student on a scholarship), but I have this guilt and just feel terrible. I told my boyfriend about it and then broke down crying. I'm also already emotional because I just lost my grandfather, so I have 2 losses in a week. It's been a rough day...  

[StephRox13]

Mostly it will be like a heavy period. My periods are usually intense, heavy bleeding, major cramping & passing clots. My miscarriages (I've had 2) were like that but MORE. But the bleeding will decrease after a week or so, mostly that will depend on how far along you were. It'll take your body some time to regulate itself. The Drs will do blood test to make sure your #s keep dropping & might do ultrasound too to make sure everything passed & your not ectopic or get an infection. Emotionally you'll be a wreck too. Give yourself some time to heal. Lots of heartache, guilt, bitterness. But theres nothing we or anyone can do to prevent early pregnancy miscarriage. I was the same as you, finding out I was losing my babies at pretty much the same time I found out I was prego. Hang in there & know that we feel for you. I wallowed in my pity party for a good long while b4 getting back to my normal self.  Take it easy & listen to your body. You'll know when you're ready again.