when will i feel better

[loveJwhite]

I had a miscarriage about ten weeks ago...I still feel crappy about it. I've had two before, then I had a baby and now I had another miscarriage. I don't remember feeling this down when I had the other two. How long did it take any of you to stop feeling so down about it?

[sue68]

Hi there,

Sorry for all your losses. There's no definite time that you get over something like this but, one day you will move on.  It helps to just let your emotions out whenever - if you feel angry , feel angry, and if you feel like crying - cry it out. Talk about it with people who will just let you listen, let you vent ( MH is a great place for that because we know exactly how you feel ).  I had warned my DH after the first m/c that it would take me a while to get over the loss and to be patient and he was. It took me 6 months. It was hard letting go of all the dreams/hopes that we had built up. Sometimes it was hard walking by the baby items in the stores. And suddenly there seemed to be pregnant women or families with baby carriages everywhere. Then one day, it didn't hurt as much. Eventually it didnt' hurt but there still was a slight "pang".  It gets better, just take your time and let your body and heart heal. Hopelessness makes the grieving go on much longer.    Keep believing and don't give up.  Its hard , I know, I've been there.  But , FYI , I just had a baby boy.  There are so many who have had rough roads trying to have a baby but, most have gotten their happy ending.  Keep your chin up and keep believing you'll get yours soon. Good luck to you - looking forward to hearing your good news.  

[rccresswell]

oh I am glad that it gets easier once your due date passes.  My due date would have been on oct 12 and I am dreading it.  I guess on a positive I am pregnant again but it breaks my heart knowing I should have been 37 weeks and instead I am 17 but in the end what can you do.  I think you should just take your time to heal after  a miscarriage.  As crazy as this sounds after my msicarriage I cried every time we had intercourse for about 2 months.  It has been 5 and a half months since my miscarriage and last week after intercourse I burst into tears again.  It is all a healing process and it does take time but you will get there :)

[Scout8601]

I'm sorry too that you've had the losses you have.  My first mc took me a long time to get over, well, not get over bc I don't think you ever do, but to be able to move on and not think about it all the time.  It wasn't until my due date had passed that I was able to see a pregnant woman or baby without bursting into tears.  I already had a therapist for other issues, so I had her to talk to about it and I really think that helped a lot.

My second mc was last week.  I can tell that this one hasn't had the same effect on me as the first.  Maybe bc it happened so early this time, or bc I knew from the beginning that it didn't feel right, I don't know.  So I think with each person it is different and with each pregnancy it can be different, or at least for me it has.  Like has been said, its a process and takes as long as it takes. I'm really sorry.

[Vanillagirl]

Also... It's been over two months for me and I'm not over it it's a process.

[Vanillagirl]

Also... It's been over two months for me and I'm not over it it's a process.

[Vanillagirl]

I agree w rccresswell... U never really get over the experience, but u jus take it one day at a time.  It rook me wks before I started to heal.  But I can say that I didn't start the healing process until I journaled my experience. IT HELPED ME A LOT!! I used to journal yrs ago but I stopped. I even seen a psychiatrist cuz I was already depressed and the mc made it worse. Talking to someone helped me a small lil bit, but it was nothing like jotting down my experience to have to look back on. (esp being as tho I don't have a sonogram or anything). Everyone gets over the exp in their own way and in their own time, but it's no correct or wrong way of doing it. We r all here for u!

[rccresswell]

I am so sorry for your losses.  I don't know when you start feeling better about it I just think you find better ways to deal with it.  I miscarried 0n April 13th and I am still feeling down more so because I am approaching my due date which is oct 12. I still feeling those emotions like it was yesterday.  I think miscarriage take a huge toll on you and all you can do is take each day as it comes.  Don't be too hard on yourself.