I have recently been diagnosed with MS. It was suspected 10 years ago at which time I was living with a man who was a screamer and I would notice that I would be like a zombie for days after dealing with him.
Recently I've noticed dealing with angry or yelling people has made me even worse. Forming a sentence becomes difficult. I can't remember things that have been said, sometimes immediately after they were said, even though I was focused in while things were being said. Telling a story has become more difficult. I start in the middle or sometimes the end and god only knows where it goes from there. And this will go on for a few days after having someone yell at me. It doesn't just go away. And it seems the more it happens the less memory I'm left with.
If I send an email, people generally think I'm too chatty. Because I'm getting quieter and quieter in person and it seems to be the only way that I'm able to speak and make sense. But it appears I'm too focused on details and too long winded.
I think you may be dealing with more than one issue, the MS being one and the other connected to once being in an abusive relationship. Abuse takes on different forms, it doesn't have to be physical for there to be a profound impact on you. Some say emotional abuse is in a way more damaging, due to the control aspects and undefined danger signals that the recipient is constantly dealing with.
The response you have now to yelling may trigger memories of probably one of the most stressful and emotionally traumatic times of your life, the yelling maybe quite different but the emotional response is like you are once again back in that situation, a time warp to an uncomfortably helpless time of your life.
Periods of intense stress are not good for anyone with a disease like MS, imho its on equal par to running a marathon whilst dragging a 100 pound weight. The physical impact of that is kind of expected for anyone but on someone who's dealing with something like MS, then the impact is whats expected and additionally all their MS issues. Intense emotional stress is just as exhausting both mentally and physically for an MSer, it can easily set off a temperary relapse until emtional calm and their physical baseline is restored.
Your talking of cognitive issues, not uncommon issues for MSers, if that is one of your issues then unfortunately, when you are under stress (physical and or emotions stress) then that will go down hill for you along with anything else that are your MS issues. I have a theory though no proof, but if prior to the MS damage you where a chatter box then i think that chatter box is still there but comes out in text because verbally isn't as easy anymore.lol
You may find talking to someone about the situation helpful, a councelor should be able to give you some tools on how to handle these types of situations.
JJ said the same things as I would say, but in a much more articulate way. Please consider the suggestion of a counselor and see if that will help. It is so easy to blame everything on our MS, but it isn't always the case.
Hi and welcome to the forum. I also think that JJ's response was very empathic and understanding. In answer to your question I also find that I seem to have some cognitive issues where it takes me a little longer to process what has been said to me and to then respond and I sometimes forget what I want to say and get stuck in the middle with an embarrassing silence. Well you are in good company here..you can usually find someone who can answer a question, understand what you are saying or give you some sound advice.
Counselling may help you understand and express your emotions which may have been buried deep inside you for a long time..releasing them may help you move forward and empower you not to let your past experiences hold you back in your future.
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