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Compulsive masturbation
I am currently being treated by a therapist/counselor for a problem with compulsive masturbation.
I have been addicted to porn/masturbation for 25 years.
About 5 years ago, I began experiencing significant muscle loss throughout my body, as well as burning/tingling in my muscles. I've also developed severe insomnia.
I have read an article, stating that excessive sexual activity can cause a depletion of the neurotransmitter Acetylcholine (Ach) in the brain, which can result in damage to the neurons and neuromuscular junctions.
I've had countless number of medical tests over the last few years and all have come up negative. Has anyone ever come across, a case like mine? Is there anyone else that experiences these symptoms? If my muscle loss is due to the depletion of Ach, then is there a way to increase Ach production? Will the muscles ever become strong again or will they always be atrophied and painful?
Need help!
David
I have been addicted to porn/masturbation for 25 years.
About 5 years ago, I began experiencing significant muscle loss throughout my body, as well as burning/tingling in my muscles. I've also developed severe insomnia.
I have read an article, stating that excessive sexual activity can cause a depletion of the neurotransmitter Acetylcholine (Ach) in the brain, which can result in damage to the neurons and neuromuscular junctions.
I've had countless number of medical tests over the last few years and all have come up negative. Has anyone ever come across, a case like mine? Is there anyone else that experiences these symptoms? If my muscle loss is due to the depletion of Ach, then is there a way to increase Ach production? Will the muscles ever become strong again or will they always be atrophied and painful?
Need help!
David
Most professionals will argue that masturbation is normal & lists many benefits of this activity,but these people will not think about its harmful effects it makes on one's life
Symptoms you're describing is not caused by masturbation alone,it's mainly caused by distorted porn images in your mind & this activity resulted in compulsive masturbation
You must stop all kinds of porn viewing i.e remove all triggers that is leading you to masturbation in order to end this obsession.
You can regain all lost energy,if you can get rid of this habit from your life.
Symptoms you're describing is not caused by masturbation alone,it's mainly caused by distorted porn images in your mind & this activity resulted in compulsive masturbation
You must stop all kinds of porn viewing i.e remove all triggers that is leading you to masturbation in order to end this obsession.
You can regain all lost energy,if you can get rid of this habit from your life.
Keep yourself occupied some other way.. pick up a hobby or somthing. Once you dont masturbate for a couple weeks your desire to fades away and in my experience you begin feeling alot better mentally.
No I havent had any of those simtoms but i am gonna stop. Its mosterly a matter of will power and it is also about getting the thoughs out off your head. like Pure760 said just pick up a hobby or think bout what you have to do tommorow or something like that. when you go to sleep think bout what you do in the day or just listern to music at night. I does have really bad simptoms so you just cant complietly stop you just cut down your steps from just say 2-3 times aday to 1 and day or something like that
I used to have the same problems with masturbation since I was a child.. I'm a very sexual person but recently because of my depression stress n break up I havent felt any urges.. is that good. I'm even scared to masturbate thinking its ungodly too..
I used to do it 20 and up times a day now the feeling is gone. I heard from a doc that its healthy and if u stop using it u'll loose feeling there.. any suggestions or comments?
I used to do it 20 and up times a day now the feeling is gone. I heard from a doc that its healthy and if u stop using it u'll loose feeling there.. any suggestions or comments?
Look i'm sorry u are going through this just have will power and strength.it is definatly not goin 2 b easy but I believe every human being has enough power to what they believe in
hi shiet,
likely you wont loose feeling if you stop masturbating. it just wasnt the right time for you. sounds like too many other emotional issues were taking place. with depression you tend to loose interest in pleasurable activities. some form of medication likely would assist with the mood swings also.
glen w
likely you wont loose feeling if you stop masturbating. it just wasnt the right time for you. sounds like too many other emotional issues were taking place. with depression you tend to loose interest in pleasurable activities. some form of medication likely would assist with the mood swings also.
glen w
um, i have this problem too. i dont think dropping from 4 times to one time a day is going to help. its like drugs, you use once its usually gonna happen again and even if it dont, it keeps the mental issues active.
today is day 3 and a half for me. i found that day 2,3, and 4 and maybe 5 are the HARDEST. If you can push yourself through those days and get to close to one week it gets easier and u do start feeling better. this is real real hard for me. but im tired of it and im doing it.
this is real hard for me cause im a 26 year old virgin. BECAUSE OF OBSESSIVELY MASTERBATING ALL MY LIFE. terrible huh? i lost normal emotions, normal sex drive for females, i just wanted to masterbate and i did.
well not anymore. its hard but i am finding relief through studing meditation, yoga, WORKING OUT, jogging....candy or gum...nicoteen if you smoke can help...hobbies, sleep when u need too....im telling you its like coming off of drugs man.
feel free to comment on my post people. im interested in help also.
today is day 3 and a half for me. i found that day 2,3, and 4 and maybe 5 are the HARDEST. If you can push yourself through those days and get to close to one week it gets easier and u do start feeling better. this is real real hard for me. but im tired of it and im doing it.
this is real hard for me cause im a 26 year old virgin. BECAUSE OF OBSESSIVELY MASTERBATING ALL MY LIFE. terrible huh? i lost normal emotions, normal sex drive for females, i just wanted to masterbate and i did.
well not anymore. its hard but i am finding relief through studing meditation, yoga, WORKING OUT, jogging....candy or gum...nicoteen if you smoke can help...hobbies, sleep when u need too....im telling you its like coming off of drugs man.
feel free to comment on my post people. im interested in help also.
I don't want this post to be offensive. I am more worried if anything.. I used to have regular girlfriends. Now I have no-one and no intimacy and I'm just addicted to M. I can't even say the word it's so embarrassing. I've been like this for fifteen years and have been using literature to generate fantasies. I feel that it's gone on long enough but every time I try to stop I start thinking about it all the time and it's like an obsession. I have bi-polar disorder and my mental problem seems to make matters worse. What shall I do? It has been ruining my life for fifteen years and I even told my mother and she said it was normal. I wish I could stop and I want a relationship and marriage etc. I need to seek advice from a professional.
Ok, First of all there is Absolutely NO WAY that Masturbating can cause Muscle Loss. That is just 100% Nonsense. There is Absolutely NO WAY that Masturbating even a lot can cause any type of Muscle Damage or whatever your talking about.
Masturbation is just a natural as urinating and there is no reason to feel it's WRONG or BAD.
Society has just filled everyone's heads with 1000 years worth of nonsense to brainwash everyone into thinking that masturbation is bad and wrong.
I'm a 39 year old married guy, I've been married for 9 years. We have great sex, I often Masturbate once a day at least and have done so even in marriage in addition to my wife and I having sex on a regular basis about 1-2 times a week when she's in the mood. My wife is fully aware that I masturbate and she has absolutely NO Problem at all with me enjoying myself through Masturbation. She even likes to help me, watch me do it, etc. It really turns her on.
I have masturbated ever since I was like 10 years old and between age 10 to say 19 I use to masturbate 2-3 times a DAY every single day. Yes I'm serious.
Today, I am perfectly healthy, I own and operate my own business and make a good living.
Anyone who tells you that Masturbation is Bad or Harmful is full of it. Masturbation makes your sex life WAY BETTER than if your some prude who has never felt joy in your life.
People need to WAKE UP and start living your life and just make it work. Stop WHINING and looking for excuses for why your life is screwed up. Masturbation has NOTHING to do with how successful you are and if anything a person who masturbates should be BETTER in bed than someone who has no practice!! Think about it!!
Masturbation is just a natural as urinating and there is no reason to feel it's WRONG or BAD.
Society has just filled everyone's heads with 1000 years worth of nonsense to brainwash everyone into thinking that masturbation is bad and wrong.
I'm a 39 year old married guy, I've been married for 9 years. We have great sex, I often Masturbate once a day at least and have done so even in marriage in addition to my wife and I having sex on a regular basis about 1-2 times a week when she's in the mood. My wife is fully aware that I masturbate and she has absolutely NO Problem at all with me enjoying myself through Masturbation. She even likes to help me, watch me do it, etc. It really turns her on.
I have masturbated ever since I was like 10 years old and between age 10 to say 19 I use to masturbate 2-3 times a DAY every single day. Yes I'm serious.
Today, I am perfectly healthy, I own and operate my own business and make a good living.
Anyone who tells you that Masturbation is Bad or Harmful is full of it. Masturbation makes your sex life WAY BETTER than if your some prude who has never felt joy in your life.
People need to WAKE UP and start living your life and just make it work. Stop WHINING and looking for excuses for why your life is screwed up. Masturbation has NOTHING to do with how successful you are and if anything a person who masturbates should be BETTER in bed than someone who has no practice!! Think about it!!
What martin333 says about his marriage may be true. But there is a difference between masturbating with your wife and masturbating alone, and while watching porn. If I were to ask martin333 if he had a porn problem, he would say "no." But I don't know if he notices or not, he is still masturbating more than he has sex with his wife, 1-2 per week is sufficient for a marriage, but he still has to compensate with masturbation. Now I'm not saying he's addicted to masturbation, because he could very well not be, but he is completely over seeing the problem that the original poster has, as well as some of the correspondent.
Most problematic masturbators are people who must use porn, or some sort of sexual story to masturbate (to fulfill their fantasies). They also do it alone. An addict can lock himself up and get lost masturbating for hours (I know because I have done it for 5 years and I'm just starting to realize, more on this later). When we as mammals orgasm (especially humans), there is a rush of chemicals that get released into our brains, this is what we are addicted to. And there can certainly be a chemical change in the brain from so much masturbation (overdose of certain chemicals such as endorphins and hormones). The hormone imbalance may be causing the muscle loss for the original poster.
Addiction to masturbation is serious stuff, but there is hope to get rid of the urge to masturbate. Don't let people fool you into thinking "masturbation is natural." Let's say there are two men (A and B). Man "A" goes to the bar to get a drink or two maybe once or twice per week. Man "B" goes to the bar every night and gets drunk; having multiple drinks per day. Who has a greater chance of dying from liver disease, and who would you say was an alcoholic? Man "B." Now I'm not saying you can die from masturbating, but you can surely feel lonely, depressed, or unable to have an intimate relationship, and that can be a problem.
I have recently discovered (after 5 long years of doing so), that I am addicted to masturbation. I would watch hours (up to 8 hours sometimes, an average of 4-6 hours per night) of porn and masturbate during that entire session, orgasming when ever i could (did it like 12 times in one night). And now I am seeing side effects. I have notice my sex drive start to die down, I haven't had any meaningful sex. I don't get erections as easily as before (and sometimes i can't), nor as they as strong. My penis hurts when i masturbate. I feel like i get really emotional more than in the past (hormone imbalance). I have a problem.
I have made a commitment to stop, and get my sex life together.
In conclusion, addiction to masturbation is not good. It can lead to bad relationships, and relationships is what drives humans; they are very important to us. There is hope though, and we have a choice to break the addiction; all it takes is a decision.
If you have over come the addiction to masturbation, please post your success stories, help us out, tell us what you did to conquer the addiction.
Most problematic masturbators are people who must use porn, or some sort of sexual story to masturbate (to fulfill their fantasies). They also do it alone. An addict can lock himself up and get lost masturbating for hours (I know because I have done it for 5 years and I'm just starting to realize, more on this later). When we as mammals orgasm (especially humans), there is a rush of chemicals that get released into our brains, this is what we are addicted to. And there can certainly be a chemical change in the brain from so much masturbation (overdose of certain chemicals such as endorphins and hormones). The hormone imbalance may be causing the muscle loss for the original poster.
Addiction to masturbation is serious stuff, but there is hope to get rid of the urge to masturbate. Don't let people fool you into thinking "masturbation is natural." Let's say there are two men (A and B). Man "A" goes to the bar to get a drink or two maybe once or twice per week. Man "B" goes to the bar every night and gets drunk; having multiple drinks per day. Who has a greater chance of dying from liver disease, and who would you say was an alcoholic? Man "B." Now I'm not saying you can die from masturbating, but you can surely feel lonely, depressed, or unable to have an intimate relationship, and that can be a problem.
I have recently discovered (after 5 long years of doing so), that I am addicted to masturbation. I would watch hours (up to 8 hours sometimes, an average of 4-6 hours per night) of porn and masturbate during that entire session, orgasming when ever i could (did it like 12 times in one night). And now I am seeing side effects. I have notice my sex drive start to die down, I haven't had any meaningful sex. I don't get erections as easily as before (and sometimes i can't), nor as they as strong. My penis hurts when i masturbate. I feel like i get really emotional more than in the past (hormone imbalance). I have a problem.
I have made a commitment to stop, and get my sex life together.
In conclusion, addiction to masturbation is not good. It can lead to bad relationships, and relationships is what drives humans; they are very important to us. There is hope though, and we have a choice to break the addiction; all it takes is a decision.
If you have over come the addiction to masturbation, please post your success stories, help us out, tell us what you did to conquer the addiction.
Forgot to post this link, gives you some insight to addiction to masturbation:
http://www.sexualrecovery.com/resources/articles/understanding-compulsive-masturbation.php
http://www.sexualrecovery.com/resources/articles/understanding-compulsive-masturbation.php
i am also having a problem whit masterbating all the time i am 16 years of age from ghana.how can i stop
I believe that masturbation is really wrong. I tried to stop the habit many times but I failed. It even got to the point that it went public. I use it to relieve stress. I have watched a lot of porn. It already affects my life, health, family, studies, etc. I really need help. This habit destroys my sexual life. I hope that I can stop it by making myself busy . I will focus on improving my way of life. Perhaps I will find other things to do like studying hard or getting into sports. I also need to be health conscious. I know that we can get over it.
I also have a terrible addiction to masturbation, and I typically masturbate at least 5 or 6 times a day, although I used to do it even more. Its been this way since I was 12 years old when I thought I discovered masturbation all by myself. Since then it got out of control all through middle school and high school, with me usualy needing to masturbate 7 or 8 times a day, but never being able to get a steady girlfriend.
Due to my chronic masturbation I have never been able to form healthy relationships with women. I still cant. In fact, I work as a delivery guy/copy boy at an office, and there are always all these attractive (or semi-attractive) women secretaries walking around, wearing sexy high heels, or short skirts, and it gives me awful errections that are so painful I cannot bearly stand it. I find myself usually having to excuse myself to the bathroom at least 3 or 4 times a day at work to masturbate, because the women in my office are always causing me to get painfully hard.
Of course none of them ever talk to me, exxcept to tell me what to copy, or what to deliver where, which usually just turns me on more. At least one of the girls has commented on noticing it in my pants before, which I denied, then had to go run straight to the bathroom at work to masturbate to try and make it go away.
Worse, I think my inability to control my errections and my constant need for masturbation has put me in a very serious situation. After years of being completely ashamed of my virginity I recently slept with an older woman, who I really shouldnt have. I was so desperate to lose my virginity, that I ended up sleeping with one of my friends older sister who lives at home with them, and even though she isnt technically mentally retarded, she's definitely really mentally slow. She's 41 years old and never lived outside the home, and is a constant chain smoker who smells like an ashtray and has various mental problems, anxiety/panic attacks, and things like that. Just a few months ago before I turned 19, I was at my friends house, when I saw his sister wearing only an oversized sweatshirt and some dirty keds shoes without socks and lighting one cigarette off another, and I just couldnt control my errection. I had to go sneak out to the guest bathroom, which happens to be in his sister's room and masturbate, just to try and make it go away.
The problem was that his older sister walked in on me masturbating, and I was so embarassed I couldnt take it. Even though she talks more like someone in elementry school about most things, she has a filthy mouth and is really sexual and kept saying all these gross things that kept turning me on more and more and I couldnt stop myself from masturbating even more. Then she kept touching me and rubbing herself and I knew I had the chance to finally lose my virginity to someone, rather than masturbate alone for the rest of my life.
After we had sex in her bathroom, I went back to hang out with my friend but found that my errection would only go away for a little while at a time. Later that night I ended up going back to her room while she was asleep, and waking her up to see if she would help me out with another errection problem. Suprisingly enough, she was eager to help out.
That was like two months ago, and since then Ive been compulsively masturbating more than ever, and Im back up to 7 or 8 times a day. This is causing really bad chaffing that is really painful, but I dont know what to do about it. Worse, Ive been having recurring fantasies about my friends older sister, even though she is not that attractive, because she's way too skinny, and always wears wierd clothes from the 80s, but refuses to wear any socks, and has stringy brown hair, dull brown eyes, and smokes like a chimney and hardly ever says a word. I found that the more I think about her while masturbating, the longer and longer it took for me to finish, and the more I needed her.
So now in addition to my chronic masturbation problems Ive started going over to my friends house more and more to hook up with his older sister. I mean its wierd because shes like almost as old as my mom, but shes ok with my wierd masturbation issues and never says much so I guess its ok. Im still keeping it secret from my friend, because I dont think he'd understand, but Im starting to get really paranoid that shes going to get pregnant from all the unprotected sex, but Im just so terrified of being alone and having to facing masturbating by myself for who knows how many more years, that its all I can do.
Even just writing this and telling someone about my serious masturbation problems is making it worse, and more painful, and making me think Ive got to do something about it before it gets bad.
Due to my chronic masturbation I have never been able to form healthy relationships with women. I still cant. In fact, I work as a delivery guy/copy boy at an office, and there are always all these attractive (or semi-attractive) women secretaries walking around, wearing sexy high heels, or short skirts, and it gives me awful errections that are so painful I cannot bearly stand it. I find myself usually having to excuse myself to the bathroom at least 3 or 4 times a day at work to masturbate, because the women in my office are always causing me to get painfully hard.
Of course none of them ever talk to me, exxcept to tell me what to copy, or what to deliver where, which usually just turns me on more. At least one of the girls has commented on noticing it in my pants before, which I denied, then had to go run straight to the bathroom at work to masturbate to try and make it go away.
Worse, I think my inability to control my errections and my constant need for masturbation has put me in a very serious situation. After years of being completely ashamed of my virginity I recently slept with an older woman, who I really shouldnt have. I was so desperate to lose my virginity, that I ended up sleeping with one of my friends older sister who lives at home with them, and even though she isnt technically mentally retarded, she's definitely really mentally slow. She's 41 years old and never lived outside the home, and is a constant chain smoker who smells like an ashtray and has various mental problems, anxiety/panic attacks, and things like that. Just a few months ago before I turned 19, I was at my friends house, when I saw his sister wearing only an oversized sweatshirt and some dirty keds shoes without socks and lighting one cigarette off another, and I just couldnt control my errection. I had to go sneak out to the guest bathroom, which happens to be in his sister's room and masturbate, just to try and make it go away.
The problem was that his older sister walked in on me masturbating, and I was so embarassed I couldnt take it. Even though she talks more like someone in elementry school about most things, she has a filthy mouth and is really sexual and kept saying all these gross things that kept turning me on more and more and I couldnt stop myself from masturbating even more. Then she kept touching me and rubbing herself and I knew I had the chance to finally lose my virginity to someone, rather than masturbate alone for the rest of my life.
After we had sex in her bathroom, I went back to hang out with my friend but found that my errection would only go away for a little while at a time. Later that night I ended up going back to her room while she was asleep, and waking her up to see if she would help me out with another errection problem. Suprisingly enough, she was eager to help out.
That was like two months ago, and since then Ive been compulsively masturbating more than ever, and Im back up to 7 or 8 times a day. This is causing really bad chaffing that is really painful, but I dont know what to do about it. Worse, Ive been having recurring fantasies about my friends older sister, even though she is not that attractive, because she's way too skinny, and always wears wierd clothes from the 80s, but refuses to wear any socks, and has stringy brown hair, dull brown eyes, and smokes like a chimney and hardly ever says a word. I found that the more I think about her while masturbating, the longer and longer it took for me to finish, and the more I needed her.
So now in addition to my chronic masturbation problems Ive started going over to my friends house more and more to hook up with his older sister. I mean its wierd because shes like almost as old as my mom, but shes ok with my wierd masturbation issues and never says much so I guess its ok. Im still keeping it secret from my friend, because I dont think he'd understand, but Im starting to get really paranoid that shes going to get pregnant from all the unprotected sex, but Im just so terrified of being alone and having to facing masturbating by myself for who knows how many more years, that its all I can do.
Even just writing this and telling someone about my serious masturbation problems is making it worse, and more painful, and making me think Ive got to do something about it before it gets bad.
I have the same prob. Only my heart hurts and my back and nees and my heart hurts most of all. I always think to myself that I can stop but everytime I use the bathroom or shower I do it again. Any suggestions on how to help?
Take anti-deppresents.......it makes you not only not want to have sex or masterbate but it makes it so that it doesn't even feel good at all.
I've had this problem for 30 years. Some things have helped but porn and mb keep me broken, weak and empty.
i also like to masterbate at times but i am not addicted as much as my boyfriend.see we are a few states apart.i dont want to lose him so i do it for him when he calls me on the phone every night.because he seems to really get off on it.but truefully i really dont enjoy it as much as i use to.i am getting to the point i have to look at porn in order to even touch myself or fantasize about some one doing it to me in order to get off.if my boyfriend keeps this up.i will break up with him and find someone else to really please me.
Took a lot of courage but here is my story. I started to M. since I was 13. I'm 25 now and have been constantly M. for 12 years now. I started with normal porn but gradually I felt I needed more and more so now I M. to shemale porn (regular porn doesn't even turn me on anymore) and the worst part is that I M. by stimulating/milking my prostate (so that I can ejaculate without even touching my penis). Useless to say, I feel my whole world is going to hell. I am permanently anxious, got social phobia, huge concentration problems (I'm a college student), no libido, no pleasure from eating food and frequent mood changes. My erections are weak and whenever i'm trying to have sex with a girl this is a huge problem, especially when it comes to putting the condom on.
I tried to stop this several times but since it has been such a long time I am M. I failed. Every time I failed it just got worse. Failing having decent erections with real girls made me even more depressed. I can't even describe you how embarassing and humiliating is that. And it happened several times.
So i decided to stop M. once again. Try to workout, go jogging (it's not easy when you have social anxiety), eat healthy and go to sleep early.
I am also taking St John's wort pills in order to cope with my depression and spirulina to supply my body with nutrients.
So far I managed not to M. for 1 week. My max was 2 weeks. I can confirm you that not M. makes you feel better, it's like youhad more energy. It is especially true for anxiety (I feel a lot more confident, I don't know if this is because my testosterone level is getting back to normal or not).
For those who say M is a normal thing: it might be but trust me, it can ruin your life. I personally wish I never started to M. It sure did play a role in making me the weak, depressed and half impotent person I am right now.
I hope you guys get over your M. addiction. It's a "demon" you have to fight. I know I'm at war with it, I just hope I don't end up defeated.
I tried to stop this several times but since it has been such a long time I am M. I failed. Every time I failed it just got worse. Failing having decent erections with real girls made me even more depressed. I can't even describe you how embarassing and humiliating is that. And it happened several times.
So i decided to stop M. once again. Try to workout, go jogging (it's not easy when you have social anxiety), eat healthy and go to sleep early.
I am also taking St John's wort pills in order to cope with my depression and spirulina to supply my body with nutrients.
So far I managed not to M. for 1 week. My max was 2 weeks. I can confirm you that not M. makes you feel better, it's like youhad more energy. It is especially true for anxiety (I feel a lot more confident, I don't know if this is because my testosterone level is getting back to normal or not).
For those who say M is a normal thing: it might be but trust me, it can ruin your life. I personally wish I never started to M. It sure did play a role in making me the weak, depressed and half impotent person I am right now.
I hope you guys get over your M. addiction. It's a "demon" you have to fight. I know I'm at war with it, I just hope I don't end up defeated.
1 Comments
you should be proud of yourself. Keep up making positive changes. Go tot he gym. You will be exhausted at first, which will help you sleep and not M. or M less, and eventually the endorphins that flood your brain when you exercise will make you feel so good, you will crave working out and not masturbating. The key is to stay away from M for as long as you can so that the desire for it goes away, and at the same time replace it with a healthy addiction such as working out. Also find a hobby, or sign up for some social groups with meetings so that you keep busy and have something to look forward to. worked for me. Good luck.
my doctor told me my muscle loss could be due to excessive masterbation,i have a bad a habit of 23 years ,im getting pain in muscle and joints are weak.i hate doing it and have tried stopping 100s of times
First time blogger, here goes:
I'm 32 years old and I have been masturbating for about 25 years now. I know it seems strange that I started playing with myself at age 7, but it's true. When I was about 4 or 5 years old, my neighbor/friend, who was two years older than me, would want to 'play games' and he would touch me and make me touch him. I didn't know any better. I went through high school and then college and into my adulthood. I suffer from depression and severe social anxiety. I never gave it much thought throughout the years until a few years ago when I started talking to a therapist. I never mentioned it to her, but the images just swam their way back into my head and I started making connections with my addiction to those moments when I was a child. This is my first time ever talking about this, except with my wife. She doesn't know I masturbate regularly, and I know I could tell if I had to. I am unemployed and home a lot by myself. Some days I can fight through the urges to touch myself. I tell myself 'No' and I go to the gym or find something else to do. I can go a few days without masturbating, and on those occassions I FEEL AMAZING. I'm energetic. Positive. My mind doesn't feel cloudy. I can think faster and I feel and look better. Then I jump off the wagon. My wife isn't very sexual in nature and doesn't have the same appetite as I do. So if we don't have relations for a few days, sometimes weeks, obviously I crave that sensation and I fail. Then I get into a habit of masturbating every day. Sometimes once, sometimes twice, sometimes three or four times. I feel guilty. I feel tired. I feel drained mentally and physically. I don't work out. I over eat. I get lathargic. It's amazing to me the physical and emotional differences in my behavior when I masturbate versus when I don't. It's quite fascinating. I already masturbated this morning. I fantasize about a friend. I felt sleezy afterwards. Then I decided to look for blogs such as this. I wanted to read and understand other people with the same ailment. I've always known it was a problem, but reading some of these posts has really inspired me to take action again, and really strive to make myself a better person for myself and for my wife. It's time to start living and stop blanketing my vice. As much as I crave that rush for orgasm and that relaxation afterwards, I would rather crave the energy and positive feeling of knowing that I can overcome this addiction. I want a new life for myself. I've never really known anything else. It's time to start taking control. I will come back on here for inspiration, like I did today, if I feel like I am falling again. Thank you to everyone who has shared their story - it isn't easy, even on a blog.
I'm 32 years old and I have been masturbating for about 25 years now. I know it seems strange that I started playing with myself at age 7, but it's true. When I was about 4 or 5 years old, my neighbor/friend, who was two years older than me, would want to 'play games' and he would touch me and make me touch him. I didn't know any better. I went through high school and then college and into my adulthood. I suffer from depression and severe social anxiety. I never gave it much thought throughout the years until a few years ago when I started talking to a therapist. I never mentioned it to her, but the images just swam their way back into my head and I started making connections with my addiction to those moments when I was a child. This is my first time ever talking about this, except with my wife. She doesn't know I masturbate regularly, and I know I could tell if I had to. I am unemployed and home a lot by myself. Some days I can fight through the urges to touch myself. I tell myself 'No' and I go to the gym or find something else to do. I can go a few days without masturbating, and on those occassions I FEEL AMAZING. I'm energetic. Positive. My mind doesn't feel cloudy. I can think faster and I feel and look better. Then I jump off the wagon. My wife isn't very sexual in nature and doesn't have the same appetite as I do. So if we don't have relations for a few days, sometimes weeks, obviously I crave that sensation and I fail. Then I get into a habit of masturbating every day. Sometimes once, sometimes twice, sometimes three or four times. I feel guilty. I feel tired. I feel drained mentally and physically. I don't work out. I over eat. I get lathargic. It's amazing to me the physical and emotional differences in my behavior when I masturbate versus when I don't. It's quite fascinating. I already masturbated this morning. I fantasize about a friend. I felt sleezy afterwards. Then I decided to look for blogs such as this. I wanted to read and understand other people with the same ailment. I've always known it was a problem, but reading some of these posts has really inspired me to take action again, and really strive to make myself a better person for myself and for my wife. It's time to start living and stop blanketing my vice. As much as I crave that rush for orgasm and that relaxation afterwards, I would rather crave the energy and positive feeling of knowing that I can overcome this addiction. I want a new life for myself. I've never really known anything else. It's time to start taking control. I will come back on here for inspiration, like I did today, if I feel like I am falling again. Thank you to everyone who has shared their story - it isn't easy, even on a blog.
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