Your not strange - just a loving and caring daughter. My heart goes out to you. Hang in there I know she appreciates your love and concern and you must be a comfort to her. God bless you. Love and prayers Bea
Thank you Bea, I thought it was a logical question until I said it out loud one day, and it sounded odd.
My dad died of a cancer caused from asbestos, I was with him when he passed away, and I guess I am just wondering if my mom will go through the same thing he did.
Thank you for your prayers, I know God has taken us this far and He can continue to.
I am so sorry your mother has to suffer this way, and I am so sorry that you also have to see your mom suffering this way until the end of her life. You simply cannot change a thing so all you can do is be with her make her laugh have a cry or 2 or 90, and just continue to live her life with her so you know in your heart an soul that is all you could do as a daughter as a friend, and just give her lots of love and kisses and be postive. aAbout as positive as you can be considering. You're family is in my prayers, Take care Rebecca.
You mother has put up a brave fight, 8 different types of chemo would be hard for anyone. Just a suggestion, my wife has been fighting this for 6 years now, and to suppliment chemo she has been rigiously taking a herbal remidy, it states it can cure, but she says it makes her feel a lot stonger whatever it does, just a thought, it is called Carctol
I work as a personal care assistant in the home care industry. As you can imagine, I work for people who are in their last years or months of life. You cannot appreciate how much I appreciate a family member who asks these questions. Knowing what to expect, openly asking these questions, or discussing the "expected results" makes it so, so much easier on the patients. At work, we are dealing with this very issue now, as my client is now receiving hospice care.
As for the final stages, it will depend on where your mother's cancer is growing. Ovca often spreads to the liver and/or the lungs, and it is the effects on these that bring closure to a life. Basically, your mother is likely to just slowly and gradually become more fatigued and weaker, and "go to bed." From there, she will likely eat less and sleep more until she simply goes. I should advise you that often the end can come quickly, in that I have seen patients still living a normal life until one week before the end.
you are so brave and loving to ask this important question. i am a nurse, and i was with my grandmother in her final fight with ovca. as a nurse i've seen many people go home, no matter if it's someone you know and love or someone you're assigned to. it's important for you to prepare yourself and your mom for her to go home. my grandmother fought her fight for about 2 1/2 years as well. it's alot like what mickey was saying. let your mom know (when you are ready to tell her) that's it's ok to go home. talk to her all the time, even when you think she's sleeping, allow her to go through the process. my grandmother went very peacefully. it's was hardest on the family. i watched her see and talk with people who were already home just waiting and helping her. actually it was quite beautiful. i know that sounds very strange, but like i said, it's your attitude that's going to help her and yourself. we are brought into this world alone, but we never, never die alone. you're mom is blessed to have you there with her, and all the other people that are waiting to be with her who are already home. Gob bless you colleen and please let us know what's happening with your mom and yourself.
hey colleen big red here again. if you would like for me to tell you details of things that your mom may go through please let me know. everyone is different, so i can't say that your mom will go through everything my grandmother went through, but i can help prepare you the best i can. just post a message and let me know. again God bless you and your mom.
I am so sorry to hear that your mother and you are going through so much. You are such a good daughter and I know your mother is comforted knowing that you are there for her to cry with and to laugh with. I know how hard this must be for you, but please know that we are here for you when you need us. My prayers will be with your mom and with you. Kasie
I am so sorry to hear of your mother having to go through this and for you..Just stay strong for her because she is going to need you ...Almost three years ago i lost my best friend to ovca.Thought she was in remission and by the time they found it again it was everywhere and the chemo didnot help..When they told her they were stopping the chemo they started sending hospice out to check on her.. she was young ,not to much older than me and i am 33.Your mom is gonna need ya to talk to ,to cry to ,but she is gonna need the reassurance in the end that it is ok to let go..Moms worry so much about there children ,that in the end it is really hard for them to let go..So if possible just let her know that you and yours are gonna be ok..I know that was one of the hardest part for her was wondering how i was gonna be after she was gone ..Crying always seem to help us ..We would sit and just talk about things that she had accomplished in her life and the happy moments that she had so givingly shared with others...i know that you will miss her but where she will be going will be so much better than what she is going through now..if you need to know anything or just need comforting or someone to listen to ya cry,scream or etc....you find one of us to lean on and i promise it will all be ok...My heart goes out to you ..Hugggggggggggs and prayersssssssss lou
Oh I thought more details might be helpful. Mom's CA125 count is 3400 and that was over a week ago. She has had fluid drained from her abdomen twice. The first time there were 5 quarts of fluid. I watched the whole thing. The second time there wasn't quite 2 quarts.
I just talked to her; she said she didn't quite make it to the bathroomin time today, plus she vomited. She hadn't eaten yet when this happened this morning.
She doesn't have much of an appetite and gets heart burn if she eats much.
I am so sorry Colleen! It sounds like your Mom is home and that's good, are you close by? I hope so! I found with both my Father-inLaw (who passed away from lynphoma after a valient battle) and my Dad a couple years ago (pancreatic cancer) that the Hospice Nurses were the best source of information. They were always willing to answer all my questions and some I had not even thought of yet. I do recall that both my Dads appreciated massages the most. Ernie, my FIL, said it was like having leprosy in that people seem to be afraid to touch you once you are diagnosed with cancer. Just a back rub or holding hands can make such a difference. And don't forget to take care of you Colleen! We are here for you Cyster of the Battalion! MV
I am slowly losing my mother after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer 5 years ago. Right now my sister and I along with our husbands are there for mom. She is so thin but keeps going strong. Our guess is that her heart will give out and that will be it. I cannot believe the pain in my heart every night I leave the hospice, it just kills me. I pray for anyone dealing with this or any other loss they are going through. It is so difficult watching your parent become like little children who need you, just devestating. My heart goes out to al of you.
My only advice is to be there, listen and give permission for them to let go whenever they feel ready. Most of all get prayers said and believe in God to take them home where they now must go.
As a stage IV who has been told recently that ovca will get me, I have given this some thought as I know I will want to know what to expect myself as it is the unknown that is feared. I just read a very interesting research paper that talked about when doctor's are asked, "What can I expect?" as you are. The paper suggested that what the patient really wants to know is if their worst fears will be managed. These fears will vary from patient to patient and disease to disease. I know this is really what I will be asking. I will tell my doctor what those are and will expect him reassure me they will be managed. I'm sure I can find the link to this paper if you are interested. I also have a very good document that covers how to help, what to expect, in other words exactly what you are asking. Let me know by e-mail if you would like either of these documents or links. So very sorry about what you are going through. I also have a daughter and my biggest desire will be reassurance that she will be "OK" after I am gone. Take care...Paula
I just wanted to say that I think you're really brave, and not at all strange for addressing the concerns that you have. My mom was also diagnosed 2.5 years ago and while she has done chemo practically non-stop until then and is still getting treated at present, her CA 125 is still high, her pleural cavity has required tapping, and she continues to have some difficulty breathing, as well as with eating and sleeping. It is a really difficult thing to watch.
Perhaps you did not notice that the original post from Coleen is almost 2 years ago. A very wise Chaplin, told a class of young nurses one time, when asked about how to deal with death of their patients. He said God gave some people a warning that they were facing death, others he said had no warning, like in an accident. He asked us which we would prefer, This idea of that choice has followed me since then, as a young nurse I decided I would want to go with no warning. As an adult with a family and many friends gathered up during my life, I wiould choose the warning, so that I could tell them all how much I had loved life and them, prepare them for my passing and then leave gently into the great unknown of death. Nothing can replace you but the memories you build on will keep them secure in the knowledge that you loved them. Marty
Obviously a number of us didn't realized this had been dredged up from the past. At least people are using the search feature! I had not thought about this from a warning/no warning perspective, but I have to agree. When I was young I would have gone for the no warning as well, but my perspective has definitely changed. For one thing, this disease has taught me I am a lot stronger than I would ever have guessed. Paula
MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU i JUST LOST MY MOM ON SEPTEMBER 26, 2008 ON MY BABY DAUGHTERS 12TH BDAY
JUST BE THERE FOR YOUR MOM AND LET HER KNOW YOU LOVE HERE AND TRY TO CHERISH EVERY MOMENT YOU HAVE REMEMBER TO PRAY, HOLD HER AND ITS OKAY TO LET HER BE YOUR MOM IF SHE STILL CAN AND LET HER HOLD YOU AND TELL YOU EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT. WE WERE TOLD THE SAME THING AND THAT MY MOM HAD 6 MONTHS AT BEST SHE LASTED 10 DAYS BEFORE SHE BEGIN HER ETERNAL LIFE WITH GOD! MY BABY WAS TOLD WHAT A BLESSING TO HAVE NANNY GO BE WITH JESUS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS WAS HER LAST GIFT TO YOU WHAT A SPECIAL DAY !!! BUT WE MISS HER EVERYDAY JUST MAKE SURE YOU ARE THERE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE TODAY COULD BE THE LAST MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. MY MOM FOUGHT HER BATTLE WITH THE SICKNESS AND THE PAIN OF OVARIAN CANCER FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS OCT THE 9 WOULD HAVE BEEN 2 BUT I KNOW THAT ALL HER PAIN IS GONE I WITNESSED SO MANY BLESSINGS FROM GOD DURING THOSE LAST 10 DAYS I KNOW HE ANSWERS PRAYERS AND HIS HOLDING HER NOW WHILE I TYPE SORRY I GOT SO MUCH TO SAY BUT IT HELPS WITH THE PAIN DEB
My Mother is 72 years old. She is also suffering from CA Ovary. My mother is a very brave women. She is fighting from this Cancer for last 8 years. We sent her to USA for treatment then after 3 years facing Chemos and Radiotherapy Doctors said that they have stoped it from spreading more. but after three years it emerges back.
Now she is very weak and cannot stand on her feet. She Eat less and vomit all she eats. She is also suffering from backache. Cancer spreads all over her body. We all love her very much. May God bless her in her misery. I dont know, people wen to explore moons and stars and cannot find the remedy of Aids and Cancer.
Lets hope and pray that someone in future finds it cure and all the people like my Mom gets fully cured from all diseases.
My girlfriend has been diagnozed with the same and she is just 24. Unfortunately she was diagnosed late and is informed that she is in the final stages. It's eating me alive, although I just make sure she is always smiling, doing wacky things online for her (We are separated halfway around the world now, Calcutta and LA) and making sure she knows that she is always loved.
I'm still optimistic on her fighting this as much as she can but she seems resigned to the fact and gets a little depressed sometimes, however, I'm online all the time for her so that she can find me whenever she wants and needs and of course I'm trying to always make her smile and laugh. She has not told her family because she wants to go quietly, but I'm determined not to stay away from her side.
I had asked her to marry me before her condition was diagnosed and even now I still do, I remember our plans for the wedding, honeymoon and future, at least I can give her the happiness of the first two. She refuses, but I'm still trying to change her mind.
I realized that the only thing we can do is to make sure that we let them know that they are loved totally and completely, it gives them the will to fight on and of course, try to make them as happy as we can.
I love her and that will not change, no matter what the circumstances are.
My name is Christla, I'm 48 and blessed with my little girl, Mia that will be 3 in Sept. My mother is a mere 16 years my senior, her name is Willa Mae. My mother's battle started over 2.5 yrs ago. We don't know how long she had cancer since it is as we all know the "silent kller". All we knew was that all of a sudden her hands swelled horribly, ached to the bone, and contracted to the point she couldn't even wring a wash cloth to wash her face. If I'd only known then!!! Everyone, please, if you have a woman, especially a post menopausal female in your life that suddenly exhibits this "palmar fibromatosis" ... for god's sake, tell her to have her CA125 checked and to ask her gyn to perform an internal ultrasound. That was nearly 6 yrs ago that she had those symptoms. She was treated for rheumatoid arthritis, carpal tunnel (to the point of surgery!!) and then told it was a reaction to a drug... the simple answer is that nobody knew. They'd never seen it before because it's very rare but I was told later that it is almost always a precurser to cancer, ovarian ca specifically.
Mom's been very unfortunate in her battle. She has gone thru 8 different types of chemo and finally Feb 3rd, 09 the dr told her to go home and that hospice was his best suggestion, giving her 3 to 6 mo. It's June 25th today. Mom's cancer mets to her soft tissue. She has huge tumors all over her body that have burst and now have staph infection in the worst of them... a cluster of them that stands about 3" out from her body and has grown now to the size of a dinner plate, reaching from the front middle of her abdomen to the middle of her back, from breast to hip. Cancer is hell when you have to watch it eat someone from the inside out but we have both, it's on the outside too.
She's been a fighter, she told me once she just hoped she lived long enough that Mia would remember her. She has! Mia adores her grandma Willie.
I know the description I've given of mom's cancer is rather brutal but someone has got to get honest about this. There are all kinds of fund raisers, walks, all kinds of literature on all the other cancers and almost all of them have better prognosis than that of ovarian ca yet noone tries to race for that cure! It's pretty certain if you get it you will die... if you're lucky and your cancer responds to treatment you may have 3-5 yrs after being diagnosed. I want to know why we're not fighting harder for research on this one. Why don't we even have a screening test? I'm mad as hell because if there had been something and if doctors had been knowledgeable may they wouldn't be saying now that mom probably won't make it another week.
I just want to do something to save someone else the heartbreak of what our family has gone thru and if knowing the symptoms my mom had and how it metastisized will trigger a thought when you see someone with this same symptom then it was well worth telling.
Now all I do is pray that it's over for my mom and cry every single day. Please if you read this, pray with me that her suffering end and that god just take her home.
I have stage Iv ovca with metastses to liver & abdomen, 2 yrs so far.
2 sugeries, 3 different chemos.... it is hard on the body, but harder on the mind.
I found several things that seem to help with good track records.
One is BioSuperfood from canada [google it...bioage I think, Formula 3]
Another is whey protein drink, I use Biochem chocolate fudge, hot or cold.
The goal is the to provide enough nutrition & alkalize your body, as cancer can't live in
alkali environment. Multivitamin & Coenzyme Q10 [200-300mg] will help her heart &
increase oxygen [ca doesn't like it]. Also bromelian 1000mg/ day and if she can,
4 ginger pills 4xday [seems to kill ca cells].
I have just read about PARP inhibitors...looks great for ovca. Don't know where to
get it yet, though.
Hope this is some help. so sorry you must go through this too.
Spend time with her, make good memories.
God bless you both.
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