My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, we were very happy and loved being with one another doing any and everything possible. About a year ago he met up with some of his old friends which needless to say were worthless and moochers, in that time he started abusing perscription medication and his head was all over the place. 2 months ago he was diagnosed with PTSD and now i dont know if its because he is aware of it now or what he is VERY angry and doesnt want me around or barley talks to me and when he does manage to talk its a fight and says awful things to me but also tells me he want us and loves me with everything he has. He said he wanted space to be alone but every chance he gets he is with his mom and friends, comes home at all hours of the night and wont tell me where he was and also picked up dirty habits "smoking" ewwwww.... I understand he is going through alot but i dont know what to do!!!???
You said, "when he comes home." Is he just coming over to your place, or am I to assume you both live together? Either way, he is taking a lot for granted. He seems to be able to do as he pleases, whenever, whatever and with whom and he still has a pillow next to yours. Personally, I wouldn't care what he was supposedly suffering from ... it doesn't give him any right to take advantage of you. I believe that the more you let him push the limit (with his behavior) the more he is going to do it ... and the worse things are going to get. Everything you wrote was about him, him, him. I would like to hear you write something empowering about yourself. I understand that his behavior is very confusing to you. I don't even know him and it's confusing to me also. He's just all over the place and the truth is that YOU deserve better. You deserve to have him treat you with kindness and respect. I wonder exactly how long he would tolerate you behaving the way he is acting? Hmmmm? I am concerned that the longer this continues, the less self respect you will have for yourself. He's the 'troubled' one and yet you are getting 'tossed' all over the place emotionally. No one can tell you what to do. You have to decide that for yourself. Be nice to yourself and protect yourself ... physically and emotionally. Keep in touch! Take care ...
It sounds like he has a lot of baggage to sort out. You don't need to be abused. Give him time, step back and let him figure this one out and realize how much--or not-- he values you. PTSD is tricky, patients with it are very emotional and moods change rapidly. Is he taking meds for his diagnosis? Getting therapy? He should be. Tell him you support him but will not be belittled and ignored. Good luck and God bless.
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