I am the trigger for my boyfriend's PTSD?

It's been over a year since our violent fight. We were both drunk and completely not understanding one another. I guess I hit him in the head which I can not recall till this day. He was in a serious car accident 4 years ago where a drunk driver hit him and his friends - the result is a titanium plate in his forehead and cheek - he has no recollection of the car accident because he was sleeping.

Well, now after a year later, he has been having flashbacks, nightmares, and psychogenic non epileptic seizures whenever he sees me - no matter what we do - we could be the happiest couple in the world - and he can't sleep at night. We can't even have a tiny tiff or he gets super upset and cranky, then after yelling - he passes out. When he comes back, he can not recall our arguments.

I know I sound like a criminal or a villain, but I am a victim of domestic abuse for many many years before I met my boyfriend. I think it was an impulse that I hit him with the years of physical abuse I faced myself. That isn't an excuse for my action, but within 1 minute (unbeknownst to me) I screwed up my entire existence. I wish someone could tell me how to make him better - I love him more than anything - he was my best friend in the entire world before we started dating - and now he is the love of my life. I hold his head at night crying if I see him shaking or talking and I die inside when I have to bring him back when he blanks out.

I know it would be selfless of me to leave, but he doesn't want me to leave either. We had our lives mapped out - we still love each other till this day. He has never asked me to leave, but now he's getting EMDR therapy and the one chance of recovery isn't going as well as planned.

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME

[margypops]

I think that is exactly what you need, some help.. seek out some counselling for you both it is too over whelming to cope with alone we can only offer you words, its in your hands to turn this around,no one can make you do what they think you should do, you need to see that you both require help,it wont get better till you do.Once you decide thats what you are going to do, you have started down the road for him anf you, it will make you feel better. Start at the Doctors office tell him you and the BF need a helping hand, he should advise which way to go, we have other forums here may have good input, check them out. you can google the area you live and ask for help from organisations . Good Luck let us know how you are doing.