I was molested and tortured when I was a small child. It took me two decades and psych meds to no longer be bothered by it anywhere near as much. I have PTSD myself. It takes time and medication but eventually the flashbacks went away for me. I still have invasive memories from time to time, but that's much better and easier to function with than being thrown into some horrible flashback while in the middle of work for instance, as I have had happen before.
Like drifter says, please seek help. Medication and counseling can pull you out of the intensity of your despair. What are your options? Can you ask at a shelter where you can get some free counseling? Is there a support group you can attend?
I am so sorry you have been raped. I can't even imagine the horror of that experience. I am sorry about your children being taken away, but maybe the best way you can help your children is to get help for yourself first.
Please take care of yourself.
Em
part of what you experience is severe depression you need to see a doctor ok