Unable to cry without talking and talking to another

[tedium]

Has anyone else had the symptom of being unable to cry for most of their life?  I was born into trauma and then surrounded by unusual traumas, and finally was in the middle of a life threatening trauma that disabled me, and has separated me from the world.  Crying helps me feel relief.   For decades, I could not cry.  When I read the book of one expert, he finally mentioned that many people with PTSD lose the ability to cry.   Then, I was able to do some therapy, and then I was able to cry to two people.  An ex-husband and an ex-boyfriend.  However, these people are exes for many reasons.  THEY create trauma if I let them in, and they don't want to help me without either using me (one to live in my garage apt and have me take care of him) and the other likes to abuse people and plays brain games that are very damaging.  So, I need to figure out how to cry by myself.  It gets so bad that when I have a trigger and feel like crying, I think I will have a heart attack or stroke because I absolutely can not cry by myself the way, or as often, as I need to.  Maybe a couple of times a year and I have to be almost suicidal and have a giant meltdown.  I've tried watching sad movies.  I've tried everything.  The other night, I got into such a state, that I thought about pinching myself to see if that worked.  Does anyone else have this problem where they can not cry on their own, or at all?

[MYoungAtHeart]

Hello to you and drifter.

I too could not cry for decades.  I never thought there was anything wrong with that, I considered myself just a really strong person who didn't need to cry to have a good life.  I was a toughie, broke my leg skiing and never whimpered, had back surgeries and not a tear was shed with the surgery or the pain, but then my mother passed away and I was in the middle of writing her a letter about our life together and my tough world collapsed, fell apart and I could not stop crying for months...In those months I continued to journal here at Med Help and in a private journal at home and the tears continued.  But what I gained with the tears were many insights that were formerly unseen by myself and being unseen, I could not work on many of the issues I needed to.  Once the tears and insights started flowing, physical and emotional health has been on the upswing.

You don't say if you journal at all or write letters to the child you once were, and in a way, still are.  The child I was still exists here in me, and she is the keeper of the memories that hold the tears.  When I write to her, that brings great healing.  I do hope you consider this part of your continuing therapy....

M

[drifter0213]

I suffer from schizophrenia I have flat affect emotionless not happy not sad ive have PTSD also so I go through flashbacks and nightmares a blank stare hope this helps :)