Depression

[designgyrl]

Anyone find themselves getting depressed about all the medications that they are on?  What do you do for it?

[mellie4]

I think most people with chronic pain have battled with depression, so you're in the right place to find some support.

I recently found this site, and I'm finding it tremendously helpful.  I have, at different times in my life, found myself a little depressed, usually for a reason (when my mom died, when my marriage was ending, etc.)  But I never experienced anything like I have since my surgeries and having chronic pain and being dependent on medication in order to even remotely function.

I have very little support.  My family doesn't understand my chronic pain or why I'm on so many medications.  They just think, "Why aren't you better by now?"  It's so frustrating.  I know on the outside I look pretty good and for the most part, I'm fairly good about hiding both my depression and my pain.  But I've found on the inside I'm apathetic and sad.  I worry about all the medications.  I hate what my life has become and I am nowhere near the mom I used to be.

I do take Cymbalta (it was prescribed for nerve pain but it was thought maybe I'd get a secondary benefit and it would help with the depression, but it definitely didn't help the depression, and if it's helping the nerve pain, it's only a little bit.)

But I've found since finding this site, my depression isn't quite so bad.  Being able to vent and share and read other people's stories is a big help.  It's been able to help me put things in perspective.  The people here are just so incredibly supportive.  I never would have thought that I'd find relief through the computer from strangers (that don't feel like strangers after a bit.)

Talk to your doctor if you can to see if he/she has any suggestions.  And keep posting here and sharing.  When you share your problems and successes it does really help others.

I am still finding it difficult to believe I need so much medicine in order to function.  I look at the pill bottles and think, "Man, that's a lot of medicine."  But over the past couple of weeks (after being here), I've come to realize that there is no shame in needing medication to function.  It's much better to have medication that eases our pain even a little; at least it lets us function better.

I hope you're feeling better soon.  As woman, I think we tend to think that we have to do it all and we have to do it perfectly.  Letting go of that image can be difficult.  Sometimes you have to remember that good enough really is good enough.

[designgyrl]

Everyone that has posted on this thread:

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  This is the first time I've felt like crying because I feel like you all know what I'm going through.  I think you all probably have just saved me life.  And for that I'll be eternally grateful.

Hugs to all of you!!!

[pmartin1664]

Well, you have touched a place in my heart, with your open and sincere expressions of the pain, that you are now experiencing. Pain of the body, and OH yes, that too of the mind! I'm so grateful that you have found this site, and are now the instant friends and adviser to us all. It takes a special kind of courage that not everyone has, to, feel the level of despair and hopelessness, that can make us question, yes, our own existence.

Pain is, I have found, builder of some of the strongest people I know. It is short of miraculous, how we can build such a major, positive attribute, from the ruins of injury, or, perhaps a congenital defect. My hat is off to you!!!  You are no doubt, driven to self correction, by seeking out someone to help you in mapping out a plan of attack, with this affliction. One which I might add, is absolutely a tameable foe, one that will allow you to not only strengthen yourself, but help each of us, as we look to someone to affirm our own desire to beat the hell out of this thing called, PAIN!!

I'm sure your appt. will be the start of another chapter in your life, one that starts with, Today, IS the first day, of the rest of my life...
Take care, and do update soon. Your friend, Pierre

[Sarajmt]

You are under tremendous pressure.  It's a really good thing you're seeing a psychiatrist.  You probably need anti depressants.  Many of us take them.  Being in pain is depressing enough without adding stress to the mix.  Good luck.

[designgyrl]

Sara,

Yeah, and the funniest thing is that I'm the youngest in my family.  My mom was english and she left my father when I was 12.  My dad worked nights and my sister is 2 years older than me and my brother is 4 years older.  So, after that happened we kind of raised ourselves, and I had a very good support system with my best friend mom.  She took over a lot of raising for me.  I finished high school, graduated from college and conquered stuff even though I didn't have the best support system.  I decided to see a psychiatrist because I was thinking the other day how easy it would be for me to hang myself from the shower rod in my house (not that I would do that) but at that point I realized how depressed I've been to even consider it.  
Sad, isn't it.  

[Sarajmt]

Hi Sunshine:  You're not just their big sister.  You're their mother, figuratively speaking.  You have taken on all that goes with being a mother and a grandmother.  My guess is that you've been doing this for a long long time.  I know you don't resent doing it but being a mom and a mom in pain is no easy task.  It can take down the strongest among us.

It is a good thing that you're seeing a psychiatrist.  We all need help sometimes.  A good psychiatrist can really help deal with the pain and the problems it brings.  Good luck to you!

Sara

[designgyrl]

Sherry and Sara,


Thank you guys for the words of support.  Sherry, I'm the type of person that people call me to tell me what's going on with their lives and dump their issues on me and when I call them to tell them what's happening to me, they conveniently have to get off the phone to do other things, so I've stopped even telling people how I feel, etc... My nickname (Sunshine) is because everyone thinks I'm so happy all the time, when in reality I feel like my whole world is crumbling down a lot of the time and completely feel stressed out because of all the illnesses that I have.  My sister and brother do not understand about my illnesses, my sister battles depression and her baby, and well since my brother came back from Iraq, he's been out of it to talk to me about anything else but his injury.  I don't have a mom, and my dad is a loner so not much support there.  I'm so glad I found this site, I've been on medical leave and it's been a blessing to me to be able to talk with people that seem to have a lot of the same issues that I have.  

Sara, I definitely find myself getting depressed looking at my counter and seeing the prescriptions that I have to take on a daily basis for the rest of my life.  It really affects me.  I'm hoping the doctor that I'm seeing (actually on Tuesday June 1st) will help me manage some of the feelings that I have.  And now, I've found you guys and it's hard to shut me up sometimes.  

Thank you for your support and your prayers.

[Sarajmt]

Hi Sunshine:  It's not really the medications that depress me.  It's what they represent.  A lifetime of pain and pills.  Don't get me wrong, I am grateful that I have medications for pain, ulcers, stress etc.  It's just depressing sometimes to have the conditions that require the medications.

You are really under a lot of pressure.  Too much.  I hope you find some peace.  And know that prayers for your niece and your brother are being offered.  May God lift your burdens.

Sara

[namnam46]

My dear I'm so sorry for what you are having to endure. It's so difficult to try to be the strong one that everyone leans on. I can tell from your posts that you are the strong one and the glue that holds your family together and are the 'Mama Bear" that everyone else comes to for advice and support.

I'm so glad that on Monday you will have someone to lean on. I hope that he/she will be able to help you learn how to keep that stress to a lower level!

Believe me you have a LOT of Friends on here.

Try to relax and I have you, your brother, sister and beautiful Bailey in my Prayers...Sherry

[designgyrl]

Thank you for the apology and I appreciate it.  I'm hoping to make some great friends here, I'm going to see a psychiatrist on Monday to deal with the stresses of everyday life, plus the fact that my brother just came home from iraq injured, and dealing with my sister and her baby has me quite on edge. It's bad enough to deal with chronic pain, but to also deal with everything else has me a little down.  

Jamie, Pmartin, and Totie thank you for your input. I hope to be dealing with this a lot better!!

[Totie]

In my opinion I think some of the medications cause depression.

[GSWsurvivor]

I apologize for being rude! You are very right about being frustrated, and I experience the Depression, and the doctor put me on Pamelor or Nortriptilyne(SP). I wish you luck! and apologize greatly! I profiled you and i apologize for that!

[pmartin1664]

There's nothing about pain that brings to mind, anything positive. And so, there will always be periods of personal lows. However, as I can think of some of those times, I also smile when I think about the great days and times that have come, after them. There is always a better day to come. As a matter of fact, you can count on it!
So yes, as we approach those low periods, positive family, friends or new friends can aleveate the low of lows. And you know what, it becomes second nature after a while. I see medications as one set of my friends, because without them, if you think you have a level of depression now, well add, unbearable pain along with it, and see how bad things can really get. Learn to count your blessings. They are there to count!  Take Care, Pmartin

[jamlws]

Yes a few people have been talking about this the last couple of days. Just remember that your on the meds for a reason and being off them would cause you to be in even more pain. Just like someone with high blood pressure or a diabetic they have to have the meds to live and CP people have to have the meds to go day to day, to be able to live a somewhat normal life. You can't be down on your self it will only make your pain worse, well it always does for me.
Hang in there,
Jamie