Just Venting

[jamlws]

Well I have been doing alot of thinking since my ER visit. I really don't stand how my life has gotten this bad. I go to a dentist in Dec 08 and she really messes me up and then I go to another dentist to fix the problem and he pulls to much bone out and caused a hole from my mouth to my sinus. We try from Jan 09 to Sept 09 going weekly sometimes 2 times a week to get stitched up and sometimes getting put to sleep cause the pain was getting to bad. Then I go in and get my weekly stitchs and was told alot of lies. Another dentist didn't even numb me up just cut the stitches out and told me my dentist has health problems and went on medical leave, I later found out he got picked up for DUI and had to leave the state so the dental board didn't take his liences away from him. Then in Oct 09 a surgern fixed the problem but then I was in even more pain. He sent me to 3 drs to rule stuff out and nothing was found and he told me "I did what I was suppose to do I am done treating you, i can't do anything else" Then I go to a Nerve dr that really over drugged me went thru h*ll and finally he says he can't treat me cause I am in need of long term pain meds. So I am waiting for a pain dr to get back from vacation.
Now I am looked at like a drug seeker when all I want is treatment so I can live my life so I can enjoy my kids more so I can get up every morning and look forward to the day ahead of me not wondering how bad the pain gets. I want to eat a good meal without being in so much pain I want to vomit. where do I go and what can I do? How can these drs get away with doing this to me? I didn't sue the first one cause I thought when it was all fixed everything would be back to normal no more pain but by time I got to the point i knew it woudln't be it was to late to sue her. I am sure I can stilll sue the 2nd one. But who fights for the people that get treated like this? How can a dr look at you and say your fine and your starting to look like a drug seeker and never go to another dr or you will be red flagged? I really don't understand any of this. Now I have a PCP that don't give a crap about how I feel or what pain I am going thru. I just dont understand all of it. Who out there will fight for people like me?
Thanks for listening
Jamie

[Mollyrae]

Hi Jamie:

I just want to say that I hope your appt. goes well for you. No Matter what may happen, try and not cancel this appt. for any reason unless it's a tragedy.  Cancelling and re-making appts. can also work against you. You are really in need of Pain Management and keeping this is very important.

Believe it or not, cancelling appts. can also be looked at by Pain Management Doctors as trying to hide something. Drug testing is always a # 1 priority with these guys when you're new and believe it or not, I have heard of cancelling as a way of covering up illegal or drugs that shouldn't be in your system and these Doctors know of every trick in the book.

I want this so much to work out for you and get the Pain Management that you so deserve. Let nothing stand in the way of that.

My earlier post was not meant to be mean or belittle you. It was meant to be the complete opposite.

I will be waiting for your next post as to how the appt. went. By the way, when is your appt.?

Hang in there,
Molly

[namnam46]

I'm glad that youare sounding so much more positive and back to normal than yesterday. I realize that you were having a VERY bad day as we ALL do at some point in time. I'm counting on that Nerve Block to make ONE of my Daughters on MH ( I have MANY ) PAIN FREE or at the VERY least BETTER than now. (I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the Pain Free.)

Hope your day continues to be better and that the heat in your part of the country lets up some.....Mama Sherry

[jamlws]

Thanks Sara that means alot to me.
I have tried to call the PMP many times asking for a nerve block but they said since he didn't write anything in the file about me getting one they can't do it til he gets back and oks it. So I have to wait for him to get back. I am all for a nerve block, cause at first I was very scared caused cause i wasn't being treated by this dr and if I was to get a nerve block and it would make the pain worse I would be in bad shape with no meds to help me but if it does make the pain worse and he is able to treat the extra pain with meds I am fine with it, atleast I have tried it. I will try anything once. My eye has been buggin me pretty bad lately. It is the corner of my eye that hurts when I move my eye. I have had problems with my eye every since this has all started it is reffered pain that I am feeling and there is nothing wrong with my eye I have been to a eye specialist. At first she said I had a blockage in my eye and had to lazor a hole in the top of my eye that wil be there forever and she said the blockage is from all the work I have had done. But after the urgrant surgery I still have pain and she has giving me the ok that nothing is wrong with my eye. So we will see what the pain dr says about it.
Thanks everyone
Jamie

[Sarajmt]

Jamie my dear, you have one of the saddest and frustrating story I know.  You have been mistreated at the hands of so many doctors, I don't know how you are still sane.  I really hope this streak ends SOON!!  Until then, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.  Hang in there kiddoo!!!!!
((((((((((((((MEGAHUGS))))))))))))))))))
Sara

[RunningMom]

I'm so sorry your having this hard time Jamie.  I really hope things will look up for you soon.

The one thing I have learned from all of this is that you are your own advocate and need to stand up for yourself.  These doctors will not do it for you.  

So please don't ever give up and throw in the towel.  Keep going and things got to look up soon.

Take care sweetie.

[mummy3too]

Jamie - Will you be willing to try  injections with him? I know I had read in an older post that you were afraid...

I encourage you to try them... Sometimes thinking about something too much can make it seem so much harder than it is..

I have been where are (like so many of us have)... and when I start to wish the time away to get closer to an appointment, I realize I am wishing my time with my family away... time I would never ever get back.

Go get a board game, call your kids over... and spend a little time distracted by their laughter... it has worked for me, hopefully it can work for you!! One board game a day!

[namnam46]

I'm glad you posted again so I won't be as worried as I was  now that I understand what was behind your post.

Sweetie, you need to remember that it may take a little while for them to schedule your Nerve Block but hopefully he will give you something to hold you until that time. Also, HOPEFULLY, they can schedule it QUICKLY so that you can get the relief that you DESERVE!!! I know that you are looking forward to getting that relief that it will HOPEFULLY give you. You sure don't have ANYTHING to lose in trying it!!

I'm REALLY PROUD of you in maiking the decision to get the Nerve Block. I think that way the Doctor will be MUCH more receptive to giving you the Pain Medication that you are hoping for.

Just hang in there!! You KNOW that I am here for you and ALWAYS will be. EVERYONE on MH is behind you 100% and are Praying that you get the relief from this Nerve Block that will get your "LIFE BACK ON TRACK"!!!!

I'm sending you TONS of (((HUGS!!))) and Much Love......Sherry

[jamlws]

I did talk to a lawyer a few months ago and they are the one that told me about the 1 year so thank you el_. they said that if I called them before the 1 year was up I would of had a great case but time has ran out. I also called the bar and they told me the samething that nothing could be done.
I was just having a bad morning, every morning is bad for me cause I am not sleeping that is why my post was so down. Plus being off meds again don't help matters at all. but I am fine there is alot going on in my life right now that one person can only handle so much and so much stress can make your pain just seem so much worse. I only have 15 days or so til my appt. My hubby just keeps saying it will be a waste of time cause of the last 2 times I was there the first they don't start treatment at all and then 2nd one is when the pain dr went on vacation and they never told me he wouldn't be there and when you see one dr you can't be treated by another one which I think is bull cause they all work in the same office. But that is their rules and I can't change them. I got my work hours and I start back to work on July 17th and I have to work the 20th so I am going to have to talk to my manager about what can be done about that day cause I am not missing this appt.
I think me going back to work will be really hard but on the other hand I think it will take my mind off things plus the extra money will help alot. I will only be working around 24 hours a week so it isn't that bad. Plus my father inlaw will be watching my kids while I work so I don't have to worry about them. He knows all my sons health problems and all his allergies.
I think all the stress of the weekend got to me. Yesterday I just layed around most of the day cause I am so tired all the time now. I am having nightmares about losing my kids now since what happen to my son over the weekend and when you don't get much sleep and all you do is have nightmares it seems like you don't sleep at all.
I am just hoping this pain dr will come up with something that will help me so I can live my life the way I want too. I got so much riding on this appt and if he don't start treatment which I have no clue why he wouldn't I think that will be the last straw for me. We will have to wait and see what happens.
Thanks
Jamie

[el_em_en_oh]

I just looked, and you are correct that Ohio is 1-year on the statute of limitations for medical malpractice...

http://www.medicalmalpractice.com/statute-of-limitations/OH/Ohio-Medical-Malpractice-Statutes.htm

Ohio just happens to be one of the strictest states when it comes to this sort of thing.

Not saying anything one way or another... just passing along the information.

[Mollyrae]

I agree with the suit. I think it is also 7 years and at least 2 for personal injury. Liek I said, call a Lawyer. I mean, what do you have to loose but time making the call.
Molly

[dame_wilbur]

If you got the impression that I was calling you weak, I profoundly apologize. I did NOT mean that, in any way, shape, or form. I don't believe you are weak. Being in pain, partially or fully debilitated by the pain, being depressed, and/or being on antidepressants does NOT make a person weak. It just helps makes them who they are, same as our hair color.

What I meant was it sounds, although I could be reading this wrong, that you're kinda wrapped up in the idea of your pain. That's understandable, it hurts like the devil. However, if you can try to let loose of the pain, even just a little, it might make life more enjoyable, despite the pain.

sorry if I worded it all poorly,

~Dame

[namnam46]

Hi Sweetie,

Are you OK? I'm really concerned about you because this past weekend all of our PM's back and forth have been REALLY UPBEAT, however, your post this morning is REALLY a downer!!

I can understand how Molly and Dame are TRULY concerned for you as you seem to have slid backwards today. It's ALMOST as bleak as your FIRST post after your last PM Dr.'s appointment that bombed. (The one with the "dirty" office.) I think that everyone assumed that you were letting go and just waiting for the PM Dr.'s appointment on the 20th, and they were shocked to hear the Depression in your post.

You know that I love you and think of you as one of my Daughters, BUT your need to reread what you wrote as it TRULY does come across to us as you are in a depression and that scares ALL of  us as we don't want you to be depressed we are hoping that you are moving forward and NOT backwards. You told me NOT to be worried about you that you are fine and this post DOESN'T sound that way. It sounds like you are back to the beginning again instead of, hopefully, at the end of your problems on the 20th.

Did something happen yesterday or today that you haven't shared with us?

I love you sweetie, but I am concerned about you.....Sherry

[geminigirl1963]

You may want to double check about that "one year" thing - I've always heard/read that the statute of limitations is something more like 7 years, so if that is the case, you are still well withing that timeframe.  It certainly would be worth a phone call to an attorney - you don't need to give them specifics (so you shouldn't have to pay a retainer) - simply ask them what the statute of limitations is on a malpractice suit.  

[jamlws]

I also wanted to add I am on depression pills and have been for a while now. Also I have a very close friend that has been there for me thru all of this and she tells me all the time she don't see how I do it, she said she would of giving up a long time ago cause the pain would be to bad for her. I have had many friend and family tell me how strong I am so I don't think I am a weak person and never have.
Jame

[jamlws]

I don't feel sorry for myself at all or do I want anyone to feel sorry for me. I live for my kids and my kids are very happy and that is all I can ask for. If I can get thru a day and make my kids smile 15 to 20 times a day and hug them and tell them I love them that is the best thing for me.
When my very best friend was killed by her husband all I could think was why? Why did he do this and then a couple of months ago when my childhood bestfriends husband killed his self I was always thinking why why would he do that? The answer is very clear to me know years and months later, they both was very depressed. I would NEVER lay in bed all day or sit and cry for myself all day or kill myself. I am worth so much more then that. i have to keep fighting this for my kids and my life.
I can't sue because they give you a year to sue after the injury and the year was up. After all the months of treatment and the drs telling me it will be back to normal I didn't think I would have to sue cause once it was healed and closed I would be fine, it didnt turn out that way. So my time was up by time I knew something had to be done. But I can still have the dental board look into everything to make sure everythign was done to the way it should of been. I have all the paper work copied to fill out.
I know there are people out there worse off then me and I am thankful that I am not that bad i am not a heartless person but I also know there are people out there that fake their pain to get meds which makes it so much harder on people like me to get any kind of treatment.
Jamie

[Jaybay]

mollyrae gave you some outstanding advice, and I hope you listen to her with an open mind.  The mind-body connection is strong, and it's pretty obvious you're sinking into depression.  Add in the stress and anxiety you're heaping on yourself and your pain and life will get nothing but worse.

There isn't any magic pill out there that will restore you to what you once were.  Pain mangement is about "management" - not a cure, and most times not even good control.  "Management" means that you, the patient, learn how to deal with pain possibly for the rest of your life.  Management isn't accomplished only by swallowing pills everyday.  The best outcomes also involve psychotherapy.  You have to look at it almost like a full-time job for a while.

The sad fact is that nobody ever died from untreated pain.  The ER is not the place to go for pain management no matter how short-term.  Unless your own physician sends you there with specific treatment orders, you're not going to get treated for pain.  I'm pretty certain that everyone on this forum has been in your shoes having to wait up to a month for a PM appointment.  That's true for any specialist, but they don't get accused of being heartless and uncaring.  I think you're taking medical protocol personally, and that's really not what is happening.

You don't have much longer to wait for your new appointment.  Meanwhile, check your insurance plan to see if a pain psychologist is on it.  Therapy won't cure your pain, but it can help you deal with it better.  Use relaxation and distraction as coping tools for the next couple of weeks.  Try locally applied heat or ice, over the counter meds - anything you can do to improve the situation.  You're stronger than you think you are.  As Molly said, it's time to take this bull by the horns and manage it yourself.

[dame_wilbur]

I'm gunna join in on what Molly said, it's time to find a way to move on.

I know how hard that is. Trust me. I went into a 5 year depressive cycle where I was sleeping up to 20 hours a day to avoid dealing with the pain and what my life had become. However, while I was busy slowly shutting down my body (my docs gave me 2 years to live at one point), my mom and sister had to cope with watching me deteriorate. Mom had the worst of it, and finally had a breakdown because she couldn't take care of me and herself at the same time. That forced me to wake up and start to get over the grief. When I woke up, I went suicidal, and that wasn't the answer either. I ended up in the hospital for 10 days in the psych ward until I figured out that while I had *said* I understood the pain, I was really just angry and fighting it.

It was just recently that I truly became at peace with my pain. I don't "like" it, I'm not masochistic, but I know that it's a part of my life. It always has been, and always will be. Since my pain is genetically caused, I don't remember a time in my life without pain. It makes it harder to miss being 'healthy'.

I've turned my disability into a chance to help others who are also in pain. My pain is why I'm a (self)published author. I've made tons of friends, here and elsewhere, that I never would have met if it hadn't been for my pain. My friends have enriched my life so much.


If it would give you closure, you can try getting a lawyer and go that route to get some compensation. But at some point, you need to let the bitterness go and focus on the GOOD parts of your life. Immerse yourself in your kids' lives and successes. They need a mom who can be there for them.

Going to see a therapist or psych is a really good idea. It doesn't mean that you're 'crazy', it means that you're responsible enough to take care of yourself and know when to ask for help. An anti depressant would probably go a long way to helping you and your pain. When you're depressed, your body feels everything more intensely, including your physical pain. And therapy might help you resolve your resentment of your situation. Life goes on, and you need to figure out a way to join the rest of the world instead of clinging bitterly to the past.


Like Molly said, I'm saying all this because I care. You sound so much like me 3-4 years ago, and I don't want you to have to go through what I did. I could have easily skipped answering this post, as I've been doing to most of them lately, but I felt that you really deserved some honest help.

*hugs*

~Dame

[Mollyrae]

I know that what's happened to you is terrible and it shouldn't have happened this way but it's more evident to me with the continuing posts that you have got to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start picking up the pieces. You have children to think about and with a Mom that is so depressed and thinking about how you were de-railed will get you know where. I say this because if you don't start taking this by the bull horns, you'll only get more depressed and sink further down the depression hole.

In reality, you should be thankful that you were born healthy and have healthy children. Some people aren't so lucky and are either develop terrible diseases, stuck in wheel chairs or even worse, have a child that is ill, sometimes terminally.

You say that "who out there will fight for people like me?" YOU must fight for your rights. No one else can do it. Take your life back and start living again.

I might get some real flack for this post but I want you to understand that there are people worse off.  You are still young enough to make a difference in your life. Start living if not for you but for your children. You have had ample opportunities for Pain Management, now is the time to stick to an appt.

You state that it's too late to sue. Why? it's never too late. Get yourself an attorney or at least talk to one and see where you stand in all of this. I'll bet that there is something that can be done for you.

Find a good Doctor who is qualified in prescribing a good Anti-Depressant, you really need it. Get yourself into some Therapy, you'll be much happier and won't look at this as it being like there is no tomorrow.

I write this because I care. If I didn't I wouldn't give it the time of day. Don't let you and your Children suffer anymore. Get mad, not sorry.

My best (and I really mean it)
Molly

[el_em_en_oh]

Just an observation, but you sure seem to have a lot of doctors in your area that lie to you, and also a lot of doctors (that you see) that after seeing you, turn around and tell you that they won't treat you/see you anymore.

I've been in and out of hospitals, ER's, various & assorted doctors offices for the last 19 years, and I don't think I've had either one of those things happen to me... ever.

I guess you just have bad luck.