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Suggestions for my mom
Hello all,
My mom is on in-home hospice care and receiving Morphine Sulphate for pain related to cancer. She has mets in her spine, including her neck. Her requests for morphine, of which she was usually getting 5mg, has tapered off over the past two or three weeks, but she suddenly started complaining of neck pain yesterday. We tried a small pillow that you heat in the microwave and put under her neck, which helped very little. Someone mentioned moist heat so I ran out and bought a heating pad that has a foam insert that you dampen. That seemed to be somewhat more effective. Mom is now at the stage where she is having trouble verbalizing so it is difficult to tell when she is in pain and to what degree. When we just straightened her out on her bed for the night she cried out in pain so dad just gave her 10 mg morphine. She went right to sleep. We will review all this with her primary hospice nurse tomorrow morning, but any suggestions are deeply appreciated. On Friday she got either 10 or 15 mg and was out for the rest of the day and night. She is losing weight daily and probably down to about 90 lbs or less as she has been off her J-tube for about three weeks. She still drinks water and asks for an occasional popsicle or grape or pear juice. I guess my main question is what alternatives, if any, are there to the morphine, so she could be pain free and still alert or at least awake. Thanks in advance for any responses!
My mom is on in-home hospice care and receiving Morphine Sulphate for pain related to cancer. She has mets in her spine, including her neck. Her requests for morphine, of which she was usually getting 5mg, has tapered off over the past two or three weeks, but she suddenly started complaining of neck pain yesterday. We tried a small pillow that you heat in the microwave and put under her neck, which helped very little. Someone mentioned moist heat so I ran out and bought a heating pad that has a foam insert that you dampen. That seemed to be somewhat more effective. Mom is now at the stage where she is having trouble verbalizing so it is difficult to tell when she is in pain and to what degree. When we just straightened her out on her bed for the night she cried out in pain so dad just gave her 10 mg morphine. She went right to sleep. We will review all this with her primary hospice nurse tomorrow morning, but any suggestions are deeply appreciated. On Friday she got either 10 or 15 mg and was out for the rest of the day and night. She is losing weight daily and probably down to about 90 lbs or less as she has been off her J-tube for about three weeks. She still drinks water and asks for an occasional popsicle or grape or pear juice. I guess my main question is what alternatives, if any, are there to the morphine, so she could be pain free and still alert or at least awake. Thanks in advance for any responses!
www.livingbeyondpain.com
Sounds to me like you are a very good son. I just read your story about your mom, what a lady. Patrick I hope you are able to move on ok and know you did what you could and you were there for your mother. If you ever need to talk please email. ***@****
Sounds to me like you are a very good son. I just read your story about your mom, what a lady. Patrick I hope you are able to move on ok and know you did what you could and you were there for your mother. If you ever need to talk please email. ***@****
Yes, she was and will always be an inspiration to us. Thank you once again and my best to all of you in your quests to be pain free.
Pat,
It sounds like you had a great Mom and though her body has passed on she will always be with you in memories and spirit. It sounds like she had a wonderfully full life and and even more importantly a devoted family that loved her so very much.
I hope you will be comforted by the warm memories she has left you with and by all the great family that were produced through her love and guidance. I am sorry for your sorrow. I wish you the best in your life as it goes on without her physical presence.
((((HUGS)))) to you,
Tuck
It sounds like you had a great Mom and though her body has passed on she will always be with you in memories and spirit. It sounds like she had a wonderfully full life and and even more importantly a devoted family that loved her so very much.
I hope you will be comforted by the warm memories she has left you with and by all the great family that were produced through her love and guidance. I am sorry for your sorrow. I wish you the best in your life as it goes on without her physical presence.
((((HUGS)))) to you,
Tuck
Posting this from an email I sent out yesterday......
Dear friends,
It is with profound sadness that tell you of my moms passing Thanksgiving
evening after her courageous two year battle with cancer. Mom's condition
had been quickly worsening the past few days and after a wonderful family
Thanksgiving gathering yesterday afternoon, she finally began to let go.
Her passing was very peaceful and she was in no pain. Thank you one and
all for your love and support during the past two years and especially the
past few months.
Mom lived life to the very fullest in everything she did, from her 18 year
"career" as a tap dancer, to her 39 years as a real estate agent and
broker and especially to her love and devotion to my dad, my brother,
sister, myself and her many other relatives and friends. She was an
incredibly talented lady, from her art work to her jewelry and dress
making to her lavish parties to her skills as a leader and organizer for
the many clubs she has been involved in over her lifetime. My mom earned
the love and respect from all who knew her. I will miss her so very, very
much.
Mary Jane Kerber was born in Peru, Indiana on December 31, 1928 and passed
away on Thanksgiving Day, November 27, 2008, just a month shy of her 80th
birthday.
With Love Always,
Pat
P.S. To Tuck, Mollyrae, Sandee and the MedHelp Pain Management Community...thank you so much for your compassionate responses. My last post commented about my mom's distress early Thursday At around 1 p.m. she started taking deep breaths. Her temperature occasionally went up and we brought it down with cool washcloths. A hospice nurse came by around 3 p.m. and we learned she had a very rapid heart rate and very low BP. We kept things as normal as possible and ate our Thanksgiving dinner. All my mom's kids, in-laws, grandkids and her new great grandbaby were here. All the adults and teens talked with her, expressing their love and also letting her know it was o.k. to go. Mom waited until all had left and my dad and I were with her when she quietly slipped away just after 9 p.m. She left us just as she had lived her life....with dignity.
Dear friends,
It is with profound sadness that tell you of my moms passing Thanksgiving
evening after her courageous two year battle with cancer. Mom's condition
had been quickly worsening the past few days and after a wonderful family
Thanksgiving gathering yesterday afternoon, she finally began to let go.
Her passing was very peaceful and she was in no pain. Thank you one and
all for your love and support during the past two years and especially the
past few months.
Mom lived life to the very fullest in everything she did, from her 18 year
"career" as a tap dancer, to her 39 years as a real estate agent and
broker and especially to her love and devotion to my dad, my brother,
sister, myself and her many other relatives and friends. She was an
incredibly talented lady, from her art work to her jewelry and dress
making to her lavish parties to her skills as a leader and organizer for
the many clubs she has been involved in over her lifetime. My mom earned
the love and respect from all who knew her. I will miss her so very, very
much.
Mary Jane Kerber was born in Peru, Indiana on December 31, 1928 and passed
away on Thanksgiving Day, November 27, 2008, just a month shy of her 80th
birthday.
With Love Always,
Pat
P.S. To Tuck, Mollyrae, Sandee and the MedHelp Pain Management Community...thank you so much for your compassionate responses. My last post commented about my mom's distress early Thursday At around 1 p.m. she started taking deep breaths. Her temperature occasionally went up and we brought it down with cool washcloths. A hospice nurse came by around 3 p.m. and we learned she had a very rapid heart rate and very low BP. We kept things as normal as possible and ate our Thanksgiving dinner. All my mom's kids, in-laws, grandkids and her new great grandbaby were here. All the adults and teens talked with her, expressing their love and also letting her know it was o.k. to go. Mom waited until all had left and my dad and I were with her when she quietly slipped away just after 9 p.m. She left us just as she had lived her life....with dignity.
Pat,
I am wondering how you and your Mom are doing today. Don't second guess everything you do or don't do; you are a blessing for staying so close to your parents when they need you so much at this time. Many sons or even daughters for that matter would not be so attentive. You are a great son. Your Mom and Dad must be very proud of you.
You may want to give your Mom morphine a bit of morphine during the night rather she asks for it or not. It will help maintain her comfort level. Of course I recommend you consult with Hospice regarding it as I do not know her medication schedule.
As I ate my Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner with my healthy family all gathered at my table; I thought of you, your Mom and so many others at MedHelp that I know are suffering with pain. I counted my blessings and felt almost guilty to have so many. I hoped you were able to have some quality family time together.
Bless you and yours, Tuck
I am wondering how you and your Mom are doing today. Don't second guess everything you do or don't do; you are a blessing for staying so close to your parents when they need you so much at this time. Many sons or even daughters for that matter would not be so attentive. You are a great son. Your Mom and Dad must be very proud of you.
You may want to give your Mom morphine a bit of morphine during the night rather she asks for it or not. It will help maintain her comfort level. Of course I recommend you consult with Hospice regarding it as I do not know her medication schedule.
As I ate my Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner with my healthy family all gathered at my table; I thought of you, your Mom and so many others at MedHelp that I know are suffering with pain. I counted my blessings and felt almost guilty to have so many. I hoped you were able to have some quality family time together.
Bless you and yours, Tuck
Hi Patrick,
I just wanted to say I am so sorry about your Mom and her pain. I think the others here have answered your questions I just wanted to add that I know the pain your going through as well and I want you to know we are all here for you anytime you need us to ask questions or if you just want to talk or vent. I lost my Mom and it is devastating to see your Mom going through this and I hope we can offer at least some comfort.
Your Mom is lucky to have such a caring wonderful son:)
I just wanted to say I am so sorry about your Mom and her pain. I think the others here have answered your questions I just wanted to add that I know the pain your going through as well and I want you to know we are all here for you anytime you need us to ask questions or if you just want to talk or vent. I lost my Mom and it is devastating to see your Mom going through this and I hope we can offer at least some comfort.
Your Mom is lucky to have such a caring wonderful son:)
Thank you very much for your replys and understanding. Thanks for the suggestions on Dilaudid and Fentanyl.....I'll ask a hopice nurse today if they prescribe or use either of those. I'm not sure if her neck pain is gone or has lessened as she is finally at the stage of not being able to verbalize. I guess it is better to over medicate her a bit to make sure she is pain free. It is so difficult to know what doses to give how often without hospice here all the time. I know much of medicine is trial and error but it is a horrible feeling to think we are "experimenting" on her and possibly causing more pain than need be. Last night was an example. Dad gave her her nightly Ativan, Zofran and Pepcid last night at 8 p.m. and she seemed to be sleeping peacefully (she is in the family room and I slept next to her on the couch). At 4 a.m., though, her respirations increased considerably and her temperature was 100.9. Gave her 10 mg Morphine and cool cloths on her forehead. At five there was little change so called hospice who instructed me to give another 10 mg Morphine and another 20 in an hour if no change. The extra 10 worked, plus her temp came back to normal. So if wonder if I should have been giving her Morphine thru the night.....sounds like I should have! I hate it that I might have been the cause of her distress!
Have a very happy Thanksgiving! We will watch the parade in NYC on the tube shortly and I know mom will be listening along!
Pat
Have a very happy Thanksgiving! We will watch the parade in NYC on the tube shortly and I know mom will be listening along!
Pat
Hello Patrick and welcome to Med Help:
I too am sorry to hear of your Moms Cancer. My Dad die from it also. We did not hold back any pain meds which I'm sure your not either. We would give him a dose anytime he asked for it. The Hospice people were great but didn't know the extent of my dads pain and my Mom is a nurse so we gave him Morphine accrodingly. There are other drugs out on the market for cancer pain, one of which is Fentanyl lolly pops. This drug in my opinion works better at controlling pain than Morphine. My Dad also had breakthrough pain meds. Does your Mother? She will need them if she doesn't already. Anyway, I would try the Fentanyl, it is stronger than Morphine by 81x. Again, I am sorry for what your family will endure. Take care, Mollyrae
I too am sorry to hear of your Moms Cancer. My Dad die from it also. We did not hold back any pain meds which I'm sure your not either. We would give him a dose anytime he asked for it. The Hospice people were great but didn't know the extent of my dads pain and my Mom is a nurse so we gave him Morphine accrodingly. There are other drugs out on the market for cancer pain, one of which is Fentanyl lolly pops. This drug in my opinion works better at controlling pain than Morphine. My Dad also had breakthrough pain meds. Does your Mother? She will need them if she doesn't already. Anyway, I would try the Fentanyl, it is stronger than Morphine by 81x. Again, I am sorry for what your family will endure. Take care, Mollyrae
Hi Patrick,
I apologize that this is a late response. I am so sorry that your Mom is apparently losing her battle with cancer. My heart aches for you. I am glad that you are helping your Father with your Mom's care. He needs you all so very much now.
Morphine is the gold standard for cancer pain and for hospice patients. You may have to "play" with the dosage to find the correct amount that treats your mother's pain but doesn't make her completely "snowed." Sometimes in the latter stages of CA there is not a happy medium. I have always thought and beleived that if I am in that position I want to be kept as comfortable as possible. I don't care if I am not alert or aware. I do not want to suffer with severe indescribable pain. My Mother has already instructed me to do the same should she ever be in that situation.
Yes there are other medications such as Dilaudid, which may work better for her pain. A concern is respiratory depression, especially given her frail condition. It is difficult to out weight the medications for pain control with the side effects that come with them.
Again I am sorry I was not on MH to see your post last night. I wish you the very best. You and your family are facing some difficult times. We are here if you need to chat or ask additional questions. Next time I will try to be more prompt. I will be thinking of you and your family.
Peace, Tuck
I apologize that this is a late response. I am so sorry that your Mom is apparently losing her battle with cancer. My heart aches for you. I am glad that you are helping your Father with your Mom's care. He needs you all so very much now.
Morphine is the gold standard for cancer pain and for hospice patients. You may have to "play" with the dosage to find the correct amount that treats your mother's pain but doesn't make her completely "snowed." Sometimes in the latter stages of CA there is not a happy medium. I have always thought and beleived that if I am in that position I want to be kept as comfortable as possible. I don't care if I am not alert or aware. I do not want to suffer with severe indescribable pain. My Mother has already instructed me to do the same should she ever be in that situation.
Yes there are other medications such as Dilaudid, which may work better for her pain. A concern is respiratory depression, especially given her frail condition. It is difficult to out weight the medications for pain control with the side effects that come with them.
Again I am sorry I was not on MH to see your post last night. I wish you the very best. You and your family are facing some difficult times. We are here if you need to chat or ask additional questions. Next time I will try to be more prompt. I will be thinking of you and your family.
Peace, Tuck
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