excuse me for venting

[jollyman069]

last couple of weeks, have been really bad. fist lost my monm to cancer feb4th, that was bad but we knew it wes coming. two of the trhee of my kids have moved more then 3 hrs away in different directions, whch ther are doing for the good of their families, so i dont blame and god bless them hope they are very sucessfull.. well just had my back injections ,i have 4 herninated disc and the pain is terrible down my back and into the leg. i am on a time released pain med, plus 4 percs adway for breakthru paqin. well that is not the worst of it, i am also in need of a kidney transplant, has gastric bypass surgery sept5th of 2007 and till now have gone from 386lbs to 245 lbs which is very good. just hearsd to day for the transplant center it would be at leaset 6 to 8 more yrs before i and if i am lucky will get a kidney. i have been on dialysis since sept 03.. have no idea how much nmore i can put up with , i am really thinking of just stopping dialysisi and see where the chips fall where thewy may.... brian

[Mollyrae]

Gosh, I've felt like you have and trust me, it really does get better. Who knows, maybe you will be moved up on the transplant list. You never know. I am truley sorry to hear of your Mom. My Dad too died of Lung Cancer and it was the worst thing I have ever had to face. Yes, we knew it was coming but your really never prepared for the final breath. I remember when he passed, I was the only one in the room, Mom and Gandma went to rest as they had been up all night. When he took that last breath he focused directly at something in the corner of the room. I know he saw his Angel, I'm sure of it. Because of that, I know that there is a heaven and that's where your Mom is. Hang in there...You have friends here and always ready to listen...It ll get better....
Take care of yourself ....Mollyrae

[Spright1]

Hi Brian,

I don't know you yet, but trust- this is just one of those days when it seems That bad. The world would Not be a better place without you in it, your family loves you, and from what I have seen you are a cheerful voice here on the forum- I'm so looking forward to talking with you!

The transplant (and all doctors, actually) always seem to give worst case scenarios so that you won't blame them if things don't go well and will be excited if they go better than they say.
Medicine is moving so fast these days that we may have major advancements in between now and then!

I (and I'm sure most everyone else here) understands the whole overwhelming thing- I'm about to embark on a whole 'fun' trip of endo visits top of everything else and that (along with another day of increased pain) was part of my personal 'it's getting too much' trip...

Hang in there and feel free to PM me if you wish.
I may have to rest soon, but I will get back as soon as I can (even if I can't get back till tomorrow).

*Virtual hugs*

~Spright

[Tuckamore]

Brian, You are having a bad day..a really bad day. You have had a year from hell and I am so sorry for that. I wish some how I could make it better. If chatting helps please continue to so that, we are here for you.

And I know they said 6-8 years but anything could happen. And I know you said you  didn't want to ask you children but don't you have other family? Don't give up. There are new things coming up every year. Who knows what they will discover next year.

So please hang in there. We care about you and are here for you. I'll check on you later. Till than, please take care, Tuck