Wanna give up - just need some feedback

[MontanaGurl]

Well, as most of you may know, I was in a bad motorcycle accident a couple of months ago and have multiple breaks, rods, pins etc. etc. etc.  Anywho, I also have Rheumatoid Arthritis and Osteo Arthritis.  I have been diagnosed with R.A. for quite a few years now.  Well, my usual items for my R.A. flare ups are to many to mentioin but, they include prednisone (steroids).  A couple of years ago I was having back to back flare ups and my doc started me on a 45 pack of prednisone, I started out really high and then tapered down.  I had taken predisone for quite awhile - ever since being diagnosed with my R.A.  Well, I don't know what happened but, after the 45 day pack of prednisone we, meaning me and doc, found out that I had thinning of the bones (osteo) and he came to the conclusion that this was from years of taking high doses of prednisone.
Well, back to my original story.  Because of my accident and all my breaks I cannot take my R.A. meds cause they hinder or slow the healing process and I really need to heal right now.  I am having a slow time healing due to the osteo.  Well, I am having a really bad flare up from my R.A.  It came on about 9 days ago, I am having back to back flare ups.  I cannot take my prednisone yet, I wished I could cause it is the only anti-inflamatory that helps with my swelling during my flare ups.
I have been through this before, too many times to mention but, this time it just seems really bad.  I am having all the symptoms as usual but, they really seem like they are extremely bad - alot more so than usual.  I am having alot of swelling, tenderness, pain, redness, nodules, stiffness, fatigue and overall YUCK!  Add all of this on top of my ouchies from my accident and that is the YUCK.  
I am so tired of all of this stuff that I am going through.  I cannot get into a tub yet cause I still have to wear my TLSO brace, I am having a hard time walking still and, my butt cheeks are hurting me (earlier post).  I am having a personal breakdown.  I am really tired of this already, when is it gonna end.  My flare up is really bad tonight.  Even though I am so sleepy I could just fall out of my wheelchair and go to sleep on the floor, I can't sleep because of the uncomfy feelings.  I just need to vent and need someone to talk to right now.  I did place a phone call into a couple of my docs to get their thoughts on what I should do.  My rheumatoid doc can't get me in until next tuesday.  I am tired, sick and tired of all of this.  It just seems like I can't catch a break.  My pain pills arn't helping me with this pain of mine.  I am still having my ouchies from my broken bones but, this type of pain from my R.A. out shadows the pain from the accident injuries.  I am freaking out basically.  I havn't taken more pain meds and don't plan on it cause it is like wasting them cause they are not working on the pain.  What to do??? I am tired of this, I need help in more ways than one.
So, after all of that information - tell me what you think, anything at this point will help, even a good joke or recipe.  Everyone in my family has been super supportive of everything but, I  feel like I am draining them.  HELP

Lillian

[MontanaGurl]

I don't know if an increase in narcotic pain meds will help me.  I think that I need some type of anti-inflamatory.  I would barge into the office in a heart beat but, all of my doctors are in a town that is 2 hours away from here and I cannot drive yet and need my hubby to take me.  My mom could take me but, she cannot lift my wheelchair in or out of my car.  And when I have the BAD days and cannot walk my husband has to carry me like a baby.  So when  he takes me over cross the mountains to the doc he has to take the day off and I hate to do that to him unless i know that for sure i will be seen and get some help or else it just seems like a waste.  ya know what i mean?  Anywho - I am still acting like a crab A$$ this morning.  As you can tell by my original post that it was really early when I made it, I went to sleep about 1/2 hour after I made that post and I still woke up at 5:45 this morning.  I am still just sleepy but, my elbow is acting up and it starts shaking.  I have read about the Restless Leg Syndrome and I think it kinda feels like that.  It is my elbow and about 4 inches on either side of it, it feel like I need to shake my arm really hard or it makes me feel like I need to do that and if I dont it feels just ugly like I hit my funny bone but, the feeling just stays there and doesn't go away after a few minutes.  
Anywho - thank you guys for responding to me, it just takes a kind word sometimes to make someone feel better.
I do have an update though - remember a week or so ago when my "butt" was hurting me??  Well, when I went to the doc they told me that they thought I had "weaver or sailor's butt"  I guess all that is, is a fancy shmansy term for an ugly butt  :-)  Just kidding, but they did say that I had the weaver / sailor butt.  It is a nerve or section of nerves that are running right over the area where one of the screws are in my pelvis and now that i am moving around more and more these days, it is irritating that nerve and making me hurt.  If I don't adjust my sitting position and take pressure off of it, it will always be there and unfortunately I will have it for the rest of my life no matter what.  the doc gave me lidocane patches and viseral cream.  I have used both of them (not at the same time) but, alternating between days.  I have also tried the cream and patches for my elbow, the cream did nothing but, the patch works enough to let me fall asleep at least but staying asleep is a different story.
Funny story - I woke up one morning and that patch came off my elbow and was stuck to the side of my mouth and my daughter told me that maybe it would numb my mouth enough to keep me from being crabby until they left for school / work.  Is that telling me something?? I think so, anywho, thank you again for responding.  I just need to hear from people with comments, suggestions anything you think would help - even a good soup recipe would be nice - hint hint  :-)
til later Lillian

[Mollyrae]

Hey Lillian ( Nick too)... Sorry to hear that both of you are having such a hard time of it right now. It really concerns me when my friends are not feeling well. You both need to (like nick said) barge your way into the Doctors office and demand that they pay attention to your needs. It is very possible that the medication regiment you're both on are not right for you at the moment. It sounds as if a you both need an increase. The increase does not have to be permanent, just enough to get you through the tough times and we all have them from time to time.

I have been where both of you are right now. I did march into my Docs office in tears. He was kind enough to temporarily increase my meds. If you have a good relationship with your Doc, I'm sure that he/she will listen to you and make things more comfortable for you.

Both of you can always send me a pm if you ever want to vent. I know I have done this with the two of you. Hang in there. It will get better. I care about you guys...........

Molly

[nick30]

next tuesday? stuff that, just barge your way in there(by that i mean do the person with CP shuffle- you know, the dance where you don't dare move anything). goto whoever normally writes your scripts and demand help. it only needs to be temporary. i am going to take my own advice tomorrow, i meant to go to doc today but was in bed all day. will go tomorrow, hope you do too.
Nick.

[Tuckamore]

Hey MontanaGurl,

I feel so bad for you and sorry that you are having such pain. I do think you have done the right things by contacting your physicians. You are right that you cannot have steroids at this time. They are wonderful drugs but as you have discovered they come with some nasty side effects.

It sounds to me that you need additional pain control. Maybe stronger pain meds or a medication to enhance what you are currently take. An antidepressant or muscle relaxers or higher doses of pain meds or a different one may be of benefit. There are no easy answers, it will just take time for you to heal.

I am glad that your family has been supportive that is so important when you are in pain. And yes I feel at times that I am draining my loving and supportive family. Unless you suffer from CP it is impossible to know how we feel or what we experience. That is one of the great benefits of belonging to this community, to a large degree we know what you are going through.

We are here for you. I am hopeful that your physicians will have some answers to your frustrating condition and will be able to offer you better pain control. Take care and hang in there. Tuck