My husband and I have 2 boys, ages 13 and 10, and I am currently pregnant with our third child. Our 13 year old is not my biological child, but I have raised him since he was 3 and have legally adopted him, there is very minimal interaction with his biological mother, and my husband is his biological father, there are no marital issues and our home is fairly "normal".
The last year has been absolute hell with our 13 year old. He doesn't care about anything or anyone. He has no respect for authority, that includes parents, grandparents, teachers. He lies to our faces with no remorse, tells me that he hates living in our home, our rules suck *ss (and no I DO NOT allow swearing in my house), beats the living **** out of my younger son, I'm not just talking a smack I'm talking full out throw him against the wall. He is just plain out mean to both me and his brother, hurtful words are his specialty. He refuses to even call my Mother, who has done everything for him, to just say hello - . He won't do anything that will not benefit him in some way or another. The entire world revolves around him.
His grades are terrible, there is a complete lack of communication with his teachers, they refuse to even sign a homework book so that I can make sure his homework is done. The school is completely uncooperative, they say that at his age he should be responsible enough to write his homework himself, and my request is unnecessary.
I have tried grounding him, I mean, my husband took EVERYTHING out of his room, he was left with nothing, and he just doesn't care. He'll lay there and go to sleep, he honest to God does not care. Nothing phases him. Yesterday he lied to me, I told him to sit at the table and write I will not lie to my mother 150 times. He told me "that's bull sh**" and walked out of my house. He was gone for 3 hours, I had no idea where he was, and to be honest, at that point I really didn't care if he ever came home. My husband tried to talk to him, my son won't even look at him, as though my husband and I did something wrong! Andy told him that he hates us, he hates being home, all of a sudden the brother he was raised with for the last 10 years is NOT his brother. He's told my younger son that he's not his brother, and never will be. What did his 10 year old brother do to deserve that?
He is diagnosed ADHD and has always been on medication for it, and is in special education classes with learning support. Until this last year, his grades have always been high Cs or better, now he's all low Ds and Fs.
So basically, he's lying, has no remorse for his wrong doings, I punish him, he leaves the house anyway. WHAT DO I DO? I'm at my whits end, I've absolutely had it with him! My patience has run out and I'm ready to commit him to an institution somewhere! How can I have him throwing things and swearing with a new baby due in February????? HELP ME PLEASE!