6 year old boy " poor me " syndrome

[shellyrash]

We just completed our week of surviving and getting our life back to normal from Hurricane Ike. I am aware that alot of people were under alot of stress. However even before this tragic event my son has shown " poor me " signs. Nobody likes me, everyone hates me, since my brother got here I get yelled at more. I hate my house, my parents, my life. I want know one in my life.  Everyone lies about me and I get in trouble.  He packed his backpack and was trying to run away. This all happened because his 2 year old brother hit him with a toy hammer and then told me that " bubba hit him "  I corrected both regarding we don't hit and took the hammer away. However my 6 year old just melted down. This morning getting ready for school. Same thing cried said he didn't want to go he hates his teacher, he hates riding the bus, he hates me for making him. He wanted to stay home and be home schooled. He has 6 friends that are in his class that were there last year. Just Saturday we attended one of the boys' birthday parties and he had a lovely time. He just goes through these moments of I hate my life and my world. I try to point out the good things and remind him of the good things that are to happen. But it doesn't seem to help it just makes it worse. Is this signs of " depression " or is it " being a brat " I am at my wits end and not sure how to snap him out of it. Yes maybe now that a normal routine will start occuring he will become better.  But it concerns me that the normal routine will just push this asside and it will be still lerking in his head. He is involved with Karate - fixing to obtain his blackbelt in two weeks, he also plays soccer.  He's a good student and a " bucket filler" at school it's just at home where he starts doing all this..  HELP

[shellyrash]

Thank you for your advice. I had spoken with Counselors regarding my childs behavior and having a session with my child. It's been noted that he is suffering and acting out from Post Tramatic Stress after living through a Catogory 2 Hurricane passing right over his house. Amazing enough when he was explained that it is ok to have been scared and to reassure him that his feeling were real and expected he was feeling better. Smiling again. He was acting out because I am of course the first person on the line of defense when something didn't go right - " blame mommy " well the behavior was not normal and I sensed something was wrong with my once happy child.  

On other words I respect my child totally I was caught of guard by this  not realizing that he was bottling up fear, concern, anxiety regarding what he just withnessed and lived through. The aftermath and the damage around him and to the area in which he lived. He was soaking it in like a sponge. All sponges need to let out the extra stuff and we are working on it daily now.

[Rebecca Resnik, PsyD]

Hello,
   it sounds like your son has taken on a 'poor me' identity, and that you are having trouble tolerating it. Once a child has taken on a role, it can be hard to help him do anything but what he is used to doing, and what other members of the family expect of him.  It sounds like you have a hard time respecting a child who reacts strongly and is very sensitive. I am imagining your son is picking up on your feelings toward him, which can damage your relationship over time.

   I would recommend you meet with a psychologist to determine if your son actually has a clinical depression or if this is more of a set of learned behaviors. Therapy can help your son develop a better set of coping strategies, and help you steer him towards greater resilience. In the meantime, the book How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk as well as Siblings Without Rivalry (both by Adele Faber) have great information about how to help children break out of self-destructive roles. You are certainly not alone in having a child with this problem, and there are ways to help him.

Best Wishes
Rebecca Resnik