4 yr old exposing self

[shan214]

My 4-year-old daughter and another same-age girl were sent to the office yesterday at daycare for showing each other their "privates".  My daughter was also sent to the office about a month ago for raising her shirt to some little boy classmates.  I think punishment for this type of behavior is not needed.  Am I correct in thinking this is all part of her discovering who she is, knowing she is physically similar to other little girls, and physically different to little boys?  How can I convey this to her teacher and the director?

[kjbutcher]

You may want to talk to her and try to find out what she is trying to accomplish by doing that.  At 4 she may have a pretty clear idea of why.  I know I watch a 3 year old girl who will tell me another child stinks just to watch him get his diaper changed.  She lifts her shirt often too.  I find with the shirt lifting she said she is like her daddy.  She is in a huge daddy stage and now that it is summer daddy doesnt always wear a shirt.  Try to figure out why she is doing it.  Maybe it just gets her attention and by them sending her to the office and everything else, she is getting the attention she is looking for.  Also the girl that I watch is "teaching" the two little boys body parts, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, belly button, nipples.  You never know, but before she continues to receive punnishment she should try to be understood.  and seriously...is it really that big of a deal at 4 that she is lifing her shirt?????  Should she really be missing music class?  It sounds a bit strict.  Someone once told me that you can tell children that there are appropriate places for things.  You can tell her that you only lift or take off your shirt in your bedroom and bathroom and make sure she only gets changed in one of those two places to reinforce that.

[shan214]

According to the director, my daughter was "talked to sternly" and missed her music class, which was probably 20-30 minutes.

[RockRose]

I certainly think this is within the realm of normal behavior,  obviously.  Like writing on the walls instead of paper,  and cutting the front bangs of your hair.

She needs to learn,  though,  that none of those things are appropriate.  I don't think she should be treated as if something is wrong with her,  but rather why won't she listen to the rules and follow them?

What kind of punishment are they handing out?  Anything more than 10 minute time out and being told not to do that might be over the top.