at my wits end

[mrscalalb]

my 4 and a half year old son almost constantly for the last year will ask for something, a drink, anything really, and as soon as I offer it to him he refuses it, then when I put it back he will cry for it like I told him no in the first place.  I have tried everything I can think of to change this behavior I have made it clear that after he says no I will not give it to him when he freaks out I have tried explaining to him that he can't ask for things, then refuse them then get upset when it gets put away.  I am not even sure if it is a case of wanting what he cant' have or if he is jsut looking for a reason to be upset.  Can anybody help me....I feel like I am going crazy with this...I need to understand why he does this and how to help

[mrscalalb]

Well it is nice to know there are other parents with this same issue, but as I said this has been happening for over a year, not daily, but almost and there are days that it happens 3 or more times.  I have tried this with no luck, but I do appreciate the response.  I too have chosen to fight this battle so that hopefully when he is grown he can make a choice and live with it.  But in the mean time I still feel crazy, if a little comforted to know there are others out there fightign the same battle

THANKS

[Marsley]

I have 4 1/2 year old daugther, who has done the same thing a couple of times. I felt it was a control issue.  She is a very demanding child and wants her own way.  After I decided it was a contol issue, I firmly informed her she can not ask for something, then change her mind, then change her mind again. If she asked then said NO it is NO.  She cried for about 10 to 20 minutes at least, HARD and LOUD, but after I stood firm a couple of times the behavior stopped.  Good luck it was not easy, she still will try me, on occasion, but this is a battle I have chosen to fight.