my child gags and refuses to use potty at age 4

[feestermom]

My daughter is almost 5, she will use her little potty chair for pee pee( she has never poop'd in the potty)  She will vomit at the sight of poo or pee. She's afraid of the big potty and will totally freak out if she has to even go near a public bathroom... I sometimes think she got this fear back when she was at a doctors visit and we had to hold her down and force a catheter in her and when they pulled it out, urine went all over her and she vomited. She has had a few catheters in her to collect urine because she wouldnt potty in the cup and shes had quite a few UTI's. She did end up having surgery at age 4, almost a year ago for kidney reflux.
I cant get her to have a bowel movement in the potty.. I cant get her to go into a public bathroom.

[melipops]

If urinating is painful for her she definately doesn't want to go. I have had uti's all my life and know sometimes i don't want to go and I am 38. A clinical phsychologist can help you with some answers maybe. We put music on for our child who had potty fears and they could turn it off when they were ready maybe something to take her mind off might help. We have a musical potty. We have special hand wash soap that we went shopping for together. We also purchased a toilet freind a plastic toy that only goes to the toilet and our child used to put her on first and then they went. We tried to make it fun. We tried very hard not to get frustrated just consistently went every 2 hours or so with minimal fuss. Huge praise for going and small rewards. We had matchbox cars. I understand the public bathroom thing. We finally worked out our son hated the hand dryer it scared him. We simply switched it off on the way in and turned it on on the way out. We also use the disabled toilet as they are a single with no-one else and plenty of room. If anyone complained i just said sorry but my child won't use the other toilet. Most people were good as they are only children. Hope some of this helps good luck. Toileting is tough work.

[margypops]

I agree with Annie she has a fear due to what has happened to her, I wouldnt push the issue especially the public bathroom, be patient as if a big issue is made of her behavior it will make it worse .

[AnnieBrooke]

Time for some medical consultation.  It does sound like she associates the whole thing with fear and pain.