need advice

[Babygirl1530]

I'm currently 21 weeks. The baby daddy is not in the picture anymore. He left 5 days ago and want nothing to do with the baby. I don't know what to do. I'm already 19 to a single mother to a 18 month old. I'm not sure if I should give the baby up for adoption or keep it? I love the baby already and so attach but I want the best for the baby. Any advice? Please help

[lexie_423]

Honestly , you should just worry about you and the baby , adoption isnt even a question , seriously.  If he doesnt want to be apart of your life , screw him ! You should be more worried about your baby then him , dont punish your baby because he wants to be an *******

[Babygirl1530]

Thank u everyone. I get a lot of help from my family already and I think my family and me think we are going to keep it.

[monie2]

everything happends for a reason an god would not put to much on you that you cant handel you should keep yo baby thats your seed at the end off the day that did not ask to be he so women an do wat yu have to do cause age anit nothing but a number have that mindset yu can do it im doing it now been doing it since im was 17 have faith an belive everythings going to work out if he dont want be there let him go thats his lost that his missing out on a blessing

[specialmom]

The problem with child support is that it is so often based on what a man makes which can be not that much and so then when they give you a percentage of his pay, it can be very little.  Less than 200 dollars a month in some cases.  So, I don't know what kind of job he has but child support is only based on his income and not what you need to live.  Lots of women who get child support struggle greatly due to it being such a small amount.  But every bit helps!  

It's not punishing a baby by the way to give a child up for adoption.  :>)  Adoption can be a loving thing to do for yourself and a baby.  

But it's not going to be right for everyone.  So, think about this and know that some give up a baby for adoption and go on to have their own family when it is better timing.  Hugs

[Emmers18]

Hey girl,  I'm 18 and pregnant. I was pregnant for the first time at 17 and miscarried. Even though you are already a mother you should keep your baby. You will regret giving the baby up. Forget about the baby daddy for now . Do what's best for you and your kids.  He may say he doesn't want nothing to do with that baby right now but he will come around. ..If not now then when you go into labor. He may be doing a lot of **** talking right now but he isn't going to miss the birth of his child. The father to my baby is black and use to run the street's.  My first pregnancy we went through he'll bc i got pregnant the 2nd time we had sex. He made me cry stressed me out...it was horrible.  But when I lost that baby he broke down in the hospital.  Then we decided to have another one. I'm now pregnant and tomorrow I will be 5 weeks. He told me no matter what he said to me or what happened that he would have never missed the birth of our baby. Since then he's changed . Don't give your baby up girl. It's going to be fine.  Just keep your head up and think positive.

[proudmommy619]

Talk to an adoption angency to see if its right for you

[samantha_18]

Don't punish the baby because the father is an ***. Abortion should only factor if rape is involved. There are people who can't have children who would love to have yours. Consider every option before making your decision! Xx

[ann1984xx]

You want to get child support

[ann1984xx]

You want to get child support

[Babygirl1530]

Im not sure on that one. I know u can file for child support from the dad

[babymom77]

Can a single mom file for government checks or something so we can get money somehow?

[Babygirl1530]

Thank u. I will have to sit and think on what I want to do. This really help.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  I'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time.  I'm sorry the baby's dad is not wanting to be a part of your and the baby's life.  That's really hard at such a vulnerable time.

You know, thinking of adoption is something I admire you for.  I don't know if that would be the right or wrong choice as that is very personal, but I admire someone willing to think outside of themselves about their baby.  Adoption can be a really wonderful thing for everyone involved.  You are able to continue life as you are now without the challenges of another baby and a couple receives a gift of a baby they long for.  they have open adoptions these days and then you know the child through pictures and other loose contact.  Kind of a nice thing.  Or you can just move on and not do that too.  But know that it is a wonderful thing if adoption is in your heart.

You already have an 18 month old so know what is involved with a baby.  They are awesome but also exhausting, expensive, and hard when you are on our own.  Times 2 for you with a toddler and a newborn.  But many women DO make it work too.

so, you really need to just sit quietly with yourself and think about this.  Maybe write out pros and cons of each-----  and read through it to help give you some clarity.  But this is YOUR decision and not one anyone can tell you it would be right or wrong for you to choose.  So hang in there and big hugs