Should I try again?

[ajsk8mom]

I am 45 soon to 46 years old and I just had my second m/c this year.  I took clomid each time to get pregnant.  I am wondering if I should even try to get pregnant again.  I want another baby but the sadness from the m/c is so hard.  I had a healthy baby girl when I was 43.  I am also worried that using clomid could cause cancer.  Does anyone have any words of advice?  I am really torn.  

[ajsk8mom]

You are an inspiration.  I give you a lot of credit for continuing to try.  19 weeks, you were pretty far along.  I had my first one at 12 weeks.  That is really sad.  I am sorry for your loss too.  
I really wish I was a bit younger.  I feel that my chances of delivering a healthy baby are running out.  My OBGYN wants me to try again with the clomid.  I am scheduled to go back to see her in 2 weeks.  I just had my D&E on Monday.

[Prayerful2528]

If it's in your heart to try again, then do so...I have had 11 m/cs, and have not given up hope on a successful pregn.  I know the pain of losing a baby, but I also know the joy of conceiving one.  I just lost my baby boy in June @ 19 weeks.  The hardest thing I have ever gone through.  I had sooo many people telling me not to try again, even my husband was scared at first.  I have had my two cycles, and is once again trying.  I allowed myself to grieve and heal.  I wish you all the best.  I am 40, and don't plan on giving up until my answer prayer is in front of me:-)  You are in my prayers...

[ChristineMP]

Best wishes for you whatever you decide (((HUG)))

[trying43]

I was told by my re that she doesn't recommend clomid fo older patients.  It thins your lining and raises fsh levels.  Perhaps you could try femara instead.  Good luck

[adgal]

I miscarried several times before having my son at 40, and two more since he was born.  I completely understand where you are coming from.  I keep asking myself the very same question.  I guess there just isn't a yes or no answer here.  I know I keep going back and forth.  Right now I am back to trying again.  Yes, the heartbreak is awful, but there is just no other way but risk it in order to have another.  

I saw an RE and was very quickly informed that IVF wouldn't be a good option unless I went to donor eggs.  For me, that is not really an option. Not because I wouldn't be completely happy with a baby conceived this way...it makes not a bit of difference, but because there are odd laws in Canada around the use of them making it very difficult.

Whatever you decide I wish you success.  I know this is a tough decision to make.  

[ajsk8mom]

I do want another baby so badly but I am scared to go through this again.  I had my first m/c in December.  I was 12 weeks and went through labor passing it.  It broke my heart but I still wanted to try again.  It took a few months to get pregnant again.  This time I went for an ultrasound at 6 weeks and there was no fetal pole.  They told me to come back in 2 weeks and that was Friday.  There was no development or heartbeat again.  My doctor scheduled me for another D&E for tomorrow.  I know I don't feel old or want to be old but I am thinking my eggs are too old and that is why I am miscarrying.  I was thinking about seeing an infertility doctor to look into IUF using my eggs if possible.  Maybe they could  check them out first to make sure they are good.  At least this way maybe I would have a better chance to carry the baby to term.

My second husband and I have a little girl together.  I just married him 3 years ago.  He was my high school sweetheart.  Unfortunately, I waited too long to start a new life with him.  I was married to my first husband for 24 years.  I have a 21 year old daughter with him.  He only wanted to have one child with me because he was married previously and had two daughters.  

Thank you for your comments.  I do know that I want more kids but I am just not sure if I can go through this disappointment again.

[tschock]

I'm going to be 44 in a few weeks. I just had another miscarriage too. First one this year, mind you. Was 12 weeks. Lost babe due to stress...my hubby had a near death and my body shut down.
I saw a psychiatrist yesterday...we talked about many things...pregnancy being one of them. ( Don't recall how we got on that subject lol)
She asked me whether or not I really loved kids. Of course I do!
Am I prepared to take on the challenges of not getting enough sleep?
I told her that my two year old still doesn't sleep through the night...she said I was ready.
She asked if I felt too old...no...I should but I don't.
She asked me why I was unsure. I told her because of age...my youngest will be 16 when I turn 60.
My older kids think I'm stupid if I do, and have also threatened to disown me if I have another one. Their reasoning is that they'll have to take care of it if I die...fair enough.

I had a real heartfelt talk with her. I thought about all we had talked about, including hubby's drinking problems, and my own medical history.
In the clinic, the psych told me that I loved my hubby strongly...even though I doubted it because of his drinking...but my words and body language all told her that my love for him was deep and forgiving...guess that's why I've stuck by through it all.

She told me that I had to decide for myself whether or not another baby with him was in the future...in other words...I already have a toddler that I'll have to raise by myself if I choose to leave him...will having another baby make a difference?

Aunt Flo came to visit today...I was in tears...still not sure if I want to have another one with him, but I do love my babies.

Ok, I'm not trying to sound rude or ignorant here, but...
Be honest with yourself...if you weren't ready, would you have posted?
Is there anything that any of us on here could say to you to change your mind one way or the other? Of course not.
You say yourself that you want another...so?
What's holding you back? Afraid to try and then lose another one aren't you? Me too...it's totally normal to feel that way.
I feel that way after every M/C.
Give yourself an honest talking to and let your heart decide.
We are with you all the way, no matter what you decide.
Hang in there girl.
M/C's are horrible, but you have to look past the pain and head for the future.

That last baby that I lost was not my first M/C, nor do I doubt that it will be my last.

I am by no means trying to persuade you ( or anyone else ) one way or the other...please understand that...I'm just trying to get you to face yourself and your grief, so that you can move on in any direction that you so choose.

Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are ready. You are the only one that knows the answer...so go ahead and ask yourself. Grab your favorite teddy bear...the one sitting on the shelf, or under your bed...take it with you...now look into the mirror, and ask yourself if this is what you really want.

As for the pills...I only ever took one...got sick, threw them out. Stopped trying to get pregnant, got pregnant.
I didn't know that they had a cancer risk...but then again so many pills do...you will need to decide for yourself if the pros outweigh the cons.
Perhaps your doctor could answer that question best.

Wishing you all the best...and baby dust if you choose that route.