Just shoot me! lol

[tschock]

Just now got a BFP!!! UGH!!!!
Baby turned 2 last week....he was boy number 4...they range in ages from 2 - 23...and now this...
I told him to get that "snip job"!!! Men never listen.
This had better be a girl if he knows what's good for him.

Sorry...mega mixed emotions.

I should be having grandkids, not babies!!!   lol

Not sure if this one will last though...I can't seem to keep them unless they are going to be born in March...I've had many miscarriages over the years, except for the ones that are due in March...
I'll be 44 3/12  when this one is born...oh man...do I feel old!

Kinda funny...I texted everyone yesterday (for an April fool's joke) and told them I was pregnant...guess that sort of backfired on me huh?
My little brother just lost his 17 day old daughter to SIDS...so of course I feel like crap...it'll be a very long time until I break my news to my family.

I didn't really think I was prego...I was 2 days late, and was about to start taking some pills for my stomach...thought about it for awhile, then decided I would take an HPT  "just to make sure", as most pills shouldn't be taken in first trimester.
Not having many symptoms...sleepless, congested, and dizzy is about it. Normally by the time I find out it's because I'm having full blown symptoms like nausea, tingly, painful nipples, etc.
I've been peeing non-stop since I got prego with the last one, so I couldn't notice a change there. lol

My second oldest son told me after the last one was born, that if I ever got pregnant again he would disown me...the oldest one agreed silently...so now what?
At least the youngest will have someone to beat up on. lol
The third oldest (16) loves to show his little brother off, so he should be ok with this.
Any ideas on how to handle the two oldest?
Yes, I know it's my body and it's none of thier business, but...I love my kids.
I would hate to lose them over something like this.

Why is it more difficult to be prego over 40 than at 21? Emotionally that is...I know the "why's" of the physical lol

[adgal]

I can only imagine - based on what you said I bet your head is going in about 100 different directions right now.  I can't believe your Dr. told you to abort.  I mean, I am a big believer in giving the correct info and explaining options, but to push you????  Not ok.  I had pretty high odds of ds with Ryder as well..1:13.  Was scary, but he too is completely typical...and very busy..lol.  So much to think about right now.  I guess it's just one day at a time (and lot's of warm baths!!..ha.)  ((hugs)) and as you know, this is a great place to vent!!!  

[tschock]

Thanks adgal.

As you can well imagine I'm sitting here bawling my head off while reading that touching message you just posted. lol

I think you're right about the older kids...they love thier mommy lol.
Oldest one still calls me for rides and advice. lol
They just never grow up do they? Kinda glad for that.
Starting to hope it's a boy now...I know how to raise them. ROFL!

As for the shock...I'm sure you're right about that too. Right now my head hurts too much.
Kinda scared because with the last one the ob/gyn never read the lab results and I almost bled to death because of it. I have always been on the anemic side of the scale and she didn't see that I had a serious iron deficiancy until one month after the baby was born!
She actually had the office clerk call me to tell me that I ought to see a doctor to be checked out and get some iron pills.
My blood pressure was a little high last time too and it feels like it's already high this time around. Saw my family doctor (finally managed to get one of those lol) just before the New Year and he said it was a little high, but that he didn't know me well enough yet to come to a conclusion about what is high for me and what isn't.
The other downfall was that they kept telling me that I should consider aborting because my (whatever those are called) levels were low and they were positive that my baby would be born with Down's...I could never do that, so why keep pestering me about it. Turns out he's a very bright little two year old...albeit a hyper one...err...I meant he's "busy". lol

Those are the thoughts that plague me now...and I know they will stick with me through out this pregnancy too.
But hey! Thanks for the comments!

[adgal]

I think anytime it's unexpected it's emotional.  Especially if you sort of had your mind set you were done.  I can understand how that would be.  However, I bet once the initial shock has worn off and you have some time to adjust you are super excited!!  As for the other kids...it'll come.  They aren't going to disown you..especially the boys..lol.  I don't know you very well, but I am betting you have a pretty great relationship with your kids, and they might be upset to begin with, but they will come around.  Maybe not super excited, but ok with it.

I'm going to say congrats to you!!  Give yourself a little time to adjust.  I also have to comment...I think you are an incredibly sensitive (in a really good way) person to be holding back the news considering your families recent tragedy.  Speaks volumes about who you are as a person, which is why I feel so confident in saying that I am certain your family will support you in this when the timing is right.

Take care