Aa
I can't take it anymore!!!!!!
My anxiety is sky high. I have had so many problems with doctors, obgyns etc that I am literally having a nervous breakdown!!!! My last post about the new ob not wanting to do an ultra at 6 weeks.. Well, I asked for one cuz I have concerns (not to mention when I told her i had cramping and spotting she looked at me and said, oh not good). BUT, she can't do an ultrasound. She didn't do anything but schedule an appointment for one next week. OMG!!!!! She kept repeating to me on how Im at high risk cuz of my age and family history... I felt as if she was attacking me for becomming pregnant!! Then she tells me that my hcg levels were way to low when I got the blood work done 4 weeks ago. They did take blood to run another test. But, I just want to cry! All this ob did was tell me all the bad things that could go wrong. She made me feel worse than I did before the visit. You would think a doctor would tell you that they will take good care of you and not to worry.. but she made it sound as if I should worry!!! I think this is strike 2 as far as doctors go. I don't know if I can take much more of this! ;(
I am sorry you feeling like you can't vent or are unwelcome here. I have read through this thread a couple of times, and I would stake my life on the fact that that's not what anyone meant. Cheri, trust me, I understand the stress around being pregnant, I truly do. However, it does sometimes seem that you have been very anxiety ridden since you found out you were pregnant. That is just not healthy for you, and if that is the case, you do not have to live like that. I would pretty much guarantee the comments made were out of genuine concern. In all honesty, I have vented on more then one post here, and have been at times highly stressed out. If it ever got to the point that my anxiety was getting in the way of my happiness, I would hope (and count on the fact) that someone here would point it out to me, as we don't always see ourselves so clearly. That is a really great thing about a forum like this, and one of the reasons I trust these women so much. I don't want them to ever not tell me something, just because it may not be something I am ready to hear. Trust me, I have gotten some pretty pointed and straight up advice here, and at the time may have been a bit "put out", but when I thought about it, I recognize it's out of caring. I hope you see this the same way. Vent away, it's healthy and this is safe place to do it. And if a comment on a post is not accurate remember it's impossible for anyone here to see the whole picture, as we can only know what you say in your posts. But you are very welcome here and as the others said, I guarantee no one meant anything negative towards you.
As for the Dr. issue, you need to feel comfortable and confident in your Dr. Sometimes we have to switch a few times before we find someone we feel good about it. Change if you need to and I wish you well!!
As for the Dr. issue, you need to feel comfortable and confident in your Dr. Sometimes we have to switch a few times before we find someone we feel good about it. Change if you need to and I wish you well!!
Wow, I am kind of shocked to see this post turn out like this. I really do not think anyone was trying to be rude by any means at all. Pregnancy is a very stressful time and I totally understand why you are upset, but on the other hand it is also important to try and stay calm for the health of you and your baby.
Even though your doctor sounds like they were trying to prepare you for the worst, he was extremely disrespectful and out of line. I am glad to see that you were able to find a more compassionate doctor, that truly makes a huge difference!
I am sorry you feel like you are unwelcome but I can promise you, no one meant any harm with their comments.
Even though your doctor sounds like they were trying to prepare you for the worst, he was extremely disrespectful and out of line. I am glad to see that you were able to find a more compassionate doctor, that truly makes a huge difference!
I am sorry you feel like you are unwelcome but I can promise you, no one meant any harm with their comments.
See? There ya go...being "too sensitive." Pam wasn't saying you *shouldn't freak out or that you can't do it here. By all means, PLEASE do it here if you need an outlet. I think her post was more expressing concern because you do come across as being very anxious and worried - almost obsessively so. And if that's an issue, you need to talk to your doctor about your anxiety. So please don't take anything as a personal attack! It's definately not intended to sound that way. Sometimes, though, an honest, straight-forward observation about our behavior can help us get our emotions in-check and our heads in the right place. So, some posters on here are a little more of the "give it to you straight" variety. Pam tends to be that way. So do I. So does Yvette. There are a couple more, too. But it's not in an attempt to ridicule anyone or make them feel unwelcome. It's in an attempt to genuinely help someone. So, stick around and vent when you need to!
Tricia
Tricia
I just wrote a really long explaination to clear some things up, but deleted it. Ya know I didn't mean to cause any drama on here, I didn't know I couldn't vent. I was frustrated that I ended up going to two "not so friendly" doctors in a row. Oh, and I did find out that the ob I just went to does have a reputation for being slightly "cocky" and rude. So, it wasn't me being TOO sensitive. I got a recommendation for a new ob who is supposedly really sweet and easy to talk to. 3rd time is a charm they say!
youme123- Thank you for not judging me! :) I appreciate it.
And so I don't upset anyone with my "freak out" posts, I will not post anymore! I can find some other way to vent if I need to. Cya!
youme123- Thank you for not judging me! :) I appreciate it.
And so I don't upset anyone with my "freak out" posts, I will not post anymore! I can find some other way to vent if I need to. Cya!
It's really easy to read into everyone's posts on here, and I'm very protective of freak-out posters. Not only am I one of those, but even the slightest insensitivity (whether intentional or not) these days can make me cry (seriously - I'm so hormonal). It feels judgmental when someone says that all their posts thus far have been freaking out. Perhaps I'm just reading into the words, and I'm truly being overly sensitive. If that's the case, I take responsibility for that, but my hormonal and compassionate side wants to hug anyone freaking out (not point out that they're freaking out). In any event, I appreciate all perspectives on here and hope for a minor shaking, if I need it, too. In fact, someone gave that to me today, and I really appreciated it. It got me out of my downward spiral :) Thanks again and have a good one.
ok...don't freak out! : ) My response was not intended to be insensitive to anyone. Merely an observation I made specifically towards Cheriwashere's reaction to her situation since she's joined MH. Of course we all freak out! Of course she should still post and those of us that "freak out" should still post and feel comfortable doing so...that's why we're all here for help and support, advice and opinions...peace.
I have to say if it makes anyone feel any better, many of my posts on MH with DS a couple years ago, with my m/c a couple months ago, and now with pg #3 have been freaking out posts. If you can't come here to freak out, where can you go? I have very few places to go to freak out and was completely thrilled to find this site of wonderfully supportive women (especially after the m/c). I am super sensitive to the freaking out emails, because I am one who posts them! Yes, I have anxiety and depression issues, no I'm not on medication due to the pg (and it's been suggested to me personally not to be). So, my main outlet is here, and acupuncture and yoga (not to mention DH). Thanks for allowing me to be a freak-out poster! :)
I think having a bad connect with doctors coupled with your own anxiety is magnifying your situation. I know you're anxcious and excited...but, all of your posts thus far have been you freaking out : O I don't mean to be insensitive...but my personality wouldn't tolerate a doctor that gave me the run around or was evasive with information. I would drop him/her like a bad habit!! Ask questions..and INSIST ON ANSWERS...otherwise this will continue through your whole pregnancy, and that won't be good for you or baby. You need to be your own advocate with any medical care, and if the doctors you are seeing aren't satisfying your needs...move on to one that will!! Good luck!
Well, I have a slightly different opinion than what some others are saying. It's always good to get different perspectives, I think, and remember, nobody's wrong here, we're just offering you different opinions. That being said, I think your doctor is being insensitive. While perhaps she's being realistic, your doctor is being insensitive. This is the time when you are at your most vulnerable emotionally, and ALL doctors know this about pregnancy. If they do not, they should not be OBs (though I know there are many insensitive docs out there). A part of being a doctor in my mind is showing a little compassion. When I was pg with DS, I spotted for three weeks in the beginning from about 5 wks to about 8 wks. She brought me in at what they say on the u/s as 5w5d. Now, whatever some may say, the date 5w5d is typed right on the u/s film that the tech gave me and DH showing a tiny little blip that she typed "baby" next to. Well, that tiny little blipped showed a flickering little primitive heart on screen. I can't tell you how many people said that's just too early, that it's just not possible. Well, to them, I tell them to talk to my OB and tech (the chief director of high risk OBs at the best birthing hospital in the state). There is something you can see early on - it's not so for everybody, and perhaps I was one of the lucky ones, but it was so for me - there is not one blanket answer. Anyway, she was very honest with me about possible risks of spotting, but she also told me the other side of the coin - up to 40% of women bleed in early pg, and sometimes later in pregnancy (with cramping)-and go on to have healthy babies, as I did. That's a really high percentage! Look, I guess what I'm saying is that there are always two sides to a coin, and while a doctor's job is to be realistic, they are also to be compassionate - and tell the whole story! It's not always bad when you bleed and have cramps, and it's not bad that we're 35+ (regarless of some family history). It doesn't mean you are doomed to a bad pregnancy. It means there's stuff to track and look out for. Hey, for what it's worth, we're all scared and worried, and I don't get to see my doc until next week, when I should be around 7w. No spotting this time (even after my March m/c-thankfully), so she won't see me earlier. They all do things differently, and I share your pain and concern. Bottom line (and sorry so long): if you're not comfortable with your OB, then switch (if you can). You probably are a bit sensitive, too, so try to remain somewhat objective before switching, though. As amazing as my doc is, she blurted out after my 5w5d u/s with DS that she can't guarantee I won't have a m/c when I shot a million spotting questions to her. They're all human, and they're not trying to be jerks. Much love and peace to you and keep us informed. You are in my thoughts.
Oh by the way ....as far as u/s the best time to see anything is at about 7 or 8 weeks. Prior to that...you can't really tell anything other than pregnancy is in your uterus and your'e pregnant.
You will get through this....I had to change my OB docs during my pregnancy because I wasn't crazy about the perinatalogist I was seeing.
But here's what's going on.....all that will happen with an early u/s is that they can confirm pregnancy, make sure it's intrauterine, and a viable pregnancy. But if there are issues there isn't anything that can be done about it to save the pregnancy.
You're doc isn't doing anything completely out of the ordinary or unfair. It's not standard routine to have an ultrasound at 6 weeks of pregnancy. In fact in an uncomplicated pregnancy you get your hcg drawn once, maybe and u/s at 6 or 12 weeks, OB blood work, internal exam, pap smear and breast exam. Then you come back in a month for another OB visit. If you're over 35 they may do a bit more blood work later on.
Time ultimately is what you need to determine if this pregnancy is viable or going to stick. Hcg numbers and even if they don't double...don't give you a guarantee that your pregnancy is going to stick.
In fact much of the OB ultrasounds are considered not medically necesarry by health plans. I don't know your medical history. I dont' know if you have had frequent miscarriages. Sometimes they do ultrasounds early because they are confirming dates, i.e. you don't know your LMP...but all in all it's not a requirement and docs don't have to do it. And a lot of unnecessary testing leads to high insurance premiums.
In my last two pregnancies with baby #1 I didn't have an ultrasound until about 12 or 14 or maybe even 16 week. It was to confirm dates. I didn't know when I got pregnant. I didn't realize was pregnant for several weeks when it dawned on me one day that it'd been a long time since I had my period. Baby #2, didn't have an ultrasound with him until after 20 weeks.
Everyone worries about their pregnancy during the first trimester as this is the most frequent time for miscarriage. If miscarriage is going to happen , it's going to happen. You OB is probably just waiting things out...which is what you have to do too. With this pregnancy I've been worrying for 25 weeks. I will probably worry as will you until you hold this baby in your arms.
I know it may seem that your OB is being insensitive and maybe she is, but it sounds to me that your OB is being realistic. If your only high risk factors is your age, anything complications that will arise from that will be in your late 2nd trimester or 3rd trimester. It seems to me that you're not really that high risk if your only issue is your age and like I said you won't have problems from that until later on in the pregnancy. As far as your family history goes...you didn't mention that, but unless it's genetic issue, not much can be done about that except for screenings. So I wouldn't worry too much about your family history unless you have something like Tay Sachs Syndrome, Willebrand's Syndrome, or hemophilia in your history. And as far as treatment for that...you will have to be further along in your pregnancy to find out if that's an issue.
So I think you just need to relax...we are all worrying, it's natural and tough it out and trust your doctor. You're doctor isn't being mean to you or treating you unfairly. The things your want done at this point just aren't medically necessary. In due time all will reveal itself. I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but it's just the way of the world and trust your doc. You're lucky an OB saw you this early, most won't see you until you are 8 to 10 weeks along.
But here's what's going on.....all that will happen with an early u/s is that they can confirm pregnancy, make sure it's intrauterine, and a viable pregnancy. But if there are issues there isn't anything that can be done about it to save the pregnancy.
You're doc isn't doing anything completely out of the ordinary or unfair. It's not standard routine to have an ultrasound at 6 weeks of pregnancy. In fact in an uncomplicated pregnancy you get your hcg drawn once, maybe and u/s at 6 or 12 weeks, OB blood work, internal exam, pap smear and breast exam. Then you come back in a month for another OB visit. If you're over 35 they may do a bit more blood work later on.
Time ultimately is what you need to determine if this pregnancy is viable or going to stick. Hcg numbers and even if they don't double...don't give you a guarantee that your pregnancy is going to stick.
In fact much of the OB ultrasounds are considered not medically necesarry by health plans. I don't know your medical history. I dont' know if you have had frequent miscarriages. Sometimes they do ultrasounds early because they are confirming dates, i.e. you don't know your LMP...but all in all it's not a requirement and docs don't have to do it. And a lot of unnecessary testing leads to high insurance premiums.
In my last two pregnancies with baby #1 I didn't have an ultrasound until about 12 or 14 or maybe even 16 week. It was to confirm dates. I didn't know when I got pregnant. I didn't realize was pregnant for several weeks when it dawned on me one day that it'd been a long time since I had my period. Baby #2, didn't have an ultrasound with him until after 20 weeks.
Everyone worries about their pregnancy during the first trimester as this is the most frequent time for miscarriage. If miscarriage is going to happen , it's going to happen. You OB is probably just waiting things out...which is what you have to do too. With this pregnancy I've been worrying for 25 weeks. I will probably worry as will you until you hold this baby in your arms.
I know it may seem that your OB is being insensitive and maybe she is, but it sounds to me that your OB is being realistic. If your only high risk factors is your age, anything complications that will arise from that will be in your late 2nd trimester or 3rd trimester. It seems to me that you're not really that high risk if your only issue is your age and like I said you won't have problems from that until later on in the pregnancy. As far as your family history goes...you didn't mention that, but unless it's genetic issue, not much can be done about that except for screenings. So I wouldn't worry too much about your family history unless you have something like Tay Sachs Syndrome, Willebrand's Syndrome, or hemophilia in your history. And as far as treatment for that...you will have to be further along in your pregnancy to find out if that's an issue.
So I think you just need to relax...we are all worrying, it's natural and tough it out and trust your doctor. You're doctor isn't being mean to you or treating you unfairly. The things your want done at this point just aren't medically necessary. In due time all will reveal itself. I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but it's just the way of the world and trust your doc. You're lucky an OB saw you this early, most won't see you until you are 8 to 10 weeks along.
Honestly, at six weeks pregnant, there isn't a heck of a lot a doctor can do. Even if you ARE having cramping and spotting, there isn't anything they can do. It sounds to me like your doctor is trying to let you know to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. There *are risks with advanced maternal age. It would be neglectful of your doctor to fail to talk to you about them. As for putting off the ultrasound - maybe she wanted to wait until there was definately something to see. My OB didn't even want to see me until I was 8 weeks. Getting an early ultrasound and seeing nothing would just create more anxiety, you know?
Do you have anxiety issues normally? Are you on medication? If you *do continue with this pregnancy, you *have to get your anxiety under control! It isn't healthy for you OR the baby!
Good luck, and please keep us up to date!
Tricia
Do you have anxiety issues normally? Are you on medication? If you *do continue with this pregnancy, you *have to get your anxiety under control! It isn't healthy for you OR the baby!
Good luck, and please keep us up to date!
Tricia
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