Confused?

[junebug718]

I am waiting to miscarry.  I was told on Thursday that it will happen.  I am about 8 weeks along.  I went in at 6 for the first visit and u/s.  The DR. said it looked to be 5 weeks or so.  Went in the next week for the 2nd u/s to see if there was any growth and he said NO and I'm sorry for the loss.  SO...I have been crying, depressed, down, and wondering the whole time WHY ME??  Anyway, I am ready for it to be over so I can move on.  Some women have written that it takes weeks for it to happen??? This scares me as I was hoping for a quicker recovery so I can try again.  Here's the confusing part.  Since I took the pregnancy test weeks ago, I have spotted brownish blood off and on for weeks.  Nothing major here and there.  I was told not to worry it was normal.  Since I found out I was losing it, the blood has totally stopped.  NOTHING.  Not even a spot.  I feel it slipping from me.  I am now emotionally detaching myself or at least trying.  I have done nothing since Thursday but mope.  I can't talk about it except type on message boards searching for answers and unfulfilled hope.  This was my first little angel to be.  It is terrible.  My husband has been so good through it, I'm here alone tonight though and feeling empty inside.  Anyone have an answer about the bleeding?  Or something related to it?  Just wondering.  

[Destiny10]

You are not alone for sure! I've been through it as well and it was hard for me. I miscarried 2x and back to back BUT I carried till I was 5 months SO it was very very hard for me. My daughters hearts just stopped beating! Lots of tests were done to find the reason but every thing came out normal and okay except I was starting to have high blood pressure. I was really stressed out at that time going through all the baby daddy drama...I beat it tho' Please believe I was hurt and confused and frustrated and everything else you could think off. I was going through a double post partum depression. Im pregnant again now BUT once again I'm praying for a miracle cause one hospital says heartbeat is 197 and when the dr comes in he says he dont see a heartbeat but he sees a fetal pole. Hcg is good and right where it should be for some one at 8weeks, then 9 days later Im in a different state different ER cause i spotted pink spots which is normal but because i have stress and anxiety and afraid im gonna lose this one...we went to the ER, now ER here says that Im measuring 7wks exact no fetal pole but hcg is where it should be. CONFUSED HELL YEAH...the first two miscarriages I was able to get over it cause you have to believe that everything happends for a reason and you may not know it at that time but later you will. My reasoning for my 2 m/c my daughters knew that their dad wasnt gonna be a good dad nor around and our relationship wasnt a healthy one! So they did a u-turn is all it is but they will be back and now lol idk what to think!!! Im going through alot of un needed stress and anxiety again thanks to my x again. Its not fair to my husband but miracles do come true so hang in there!!! baby dust

[sherrysb]

I do understand what you're going through.  I think 90% of the women in this forum have experienced a miscarriage, but I must say....Doctors make mistakes, BIG Mistakes. I don't know if he's wrong, but just in case he is, remember your mind is very Powerful!.  Think positive (look forward to the next one), get your mind off the negative and PRAY for strength, guidance and a healthy baby.

[adgal]

Oh I just hurt for you right now.  I completely understand how you are feeling.  The confusion and pain is overwhelming sometimes.

One of my miscarriages was just like that.  I spotted brown, but no other sign of miscarriage.  One of them I didn't even spot brown, didn't find out until an 8 week ultrasound.  It can take quite some time for your body to realize it's not pregnant anymore and begin to do it's thing.  I know that I just wanted it to be over as well so the first time I took medication to help things along, and ultimately wound up with a D&C.  The other time I just went straight to D&C.  If you are comfortable with either option, it is the fastest way to get it over with.  In my opinion, the easiest way as well.  

Whatever you decide, piggy is right, you are not alone.  Sadly this is not an uncommon situation and many of us have been there and will be here for you.  Post as much as you need to...sometimes talking about it helps.  Be selfish and do what's right for you right now.  Sleep if you want, cry, scream, eat a whole tub of Hagen Daz...whatever you need.  And when you are ready, move forward.  Remember that the vast majority of women will go on to have normal healthy pregnancies.

It's also really important to remember this is not due to anything you did or did not do.  It just happens, and you couldn't prevent it, nor did you cause it.  I have driven myself almost insane questioning every little thing I did and the reality is you cannot cause a miscarriage.  

Hang in there honey, it really does get better.  I promise.

[piggy2]

I'm so sorry.  I too, have asked why me so many times.  Sometimes I bounce back and feel better and sometimes it just takes more time.  Realize you have hormones running around your body and brain and having a party.  What the mind believes, the body will follow.  Do you know for sure that this is a MC?  I had one at 6 weeks, but it took longer for the hormone to leave my system.... meaning there was no baby but my body still was showing I was pregnant on the blood tests.  It took a month to have it all out of my system.  

Just remember, you are not alone junebug.  You have others like you here who have gone through similar situations and we are all here to listen and support you.  I can honestly say that this has been one of the hardest things in my whole life I have had to deal with, so having others for support helps.  

Have a good cry, think of happier times, drink some tea and head back to bed.  Try to keep your chin up and if you need some help, just give us a holler.  take care...