Why is it that I get something new to worry about each week.

[YvetteY]

I really don't understand why I just can't enjoy any of this pregnancy without having to stress out every step of the way.   To summarize everything....

1.  I'm taking a blood thinner twice a day to prevent clots from forming and being fatal to baby
2.  Just found out i have gestational diabetes
3.  Baby is small for dates...she's in the 34th percentile and weighs 1lb 15oz.
4.  Two-vessel umbilical cord
5.  Protein in my urine
6   Advanced maternal age (43 now!)
7   Yesterday they saw a double cyst  (6cm) on umbilical cord.

So regarding issue #7 they said not to worry and I'm trying not to but I read on med help that a lady lost her baby at 36 weeks because of this and that it's linked to birth defects.    On the ultrasounds I've had they said baby looks fine - no malformations and we've passed the NT testing.   QUESTION:   What birth defects can't be seen by ultrasound?

I'm having to go to appts so much now it's ridiculous.   On the average I will have an appt 3 to 4 times a week now until I deliver and I wonder if it will be early.  I'm being seeing by the OB every two weeks now, getting non-stress tests at the hospital twice a week, and a weekly biophysical profile of the baby at the perinatalogist.  I've got to fax in my GD logs every friday and they're hoping diet will control it.  My OB wanted me to stop working now at 28 weeks, but I said I couldn't and he said I'd have to stop in 3 weeks.  I'm hoping he'll push it to 4.  This will interfere with my baby bonding time.  I wanted to spend 12 weeks with the baby, not 4 or 6.  

I wonder how much of this is baby and how much is me???   I don't feel sick. Just tired all the time.   I guess my main question is about birth defects not seen on ultrasounds and if anyone has any information (positive or negative) about umbilical cord cysts  -- i'd be very appreciative.  Last night I dreamt that I went for an u/s and they said my placenta was tearing...I'm hoping that's not an omen.    

[adgal]

I too am so sorry you are going through so much stress.  It would be so nice to be able to just relax and enjoy.  However, 12 weeks will fly by, and soon you will have your little girl in your arms.  I know how hard you worked to have this baby, and I have no doubt the first time you see her, you would happily go through it all again.  Stay focused on the goal girl!!  Take care.

[40smama]

Oh, Yvette, I feel so bad for everything you're going through.  I just want to say that all of this is temporary - you've only got a little longer to go.  You've been through the ringer, girl and no wonder that you're tired and stressed out!

All I can say is thank God you're in a place that has state-of-the-art medical technology/doctors, etc.  If I were in the position you're in now when I was pregnant w/No, I'd have been up the creek.

When Wade went on paternity leave, his job wasn't protected by FMLA at all since his employer is a small place w/few employees than what FMLA allows.  I hope things workout, Y - darn it, you don't need this kind of stress right now.

Take care of yourself & know we're all here, hon - jen

[YvetteY]

And yes the appts are beginning to feel overwhelming, but it's good to know I'm not the only dealing with this kind of stuff.    

[YvetteY]

I actually work for a major major national health insurance company.  I can't say that they're very generous with our benes, even though it's an ins com.  We've got a $1300 ded and they're pushing our insurance to be paid by the employees through health saving accounts.   But that's another story.   It would be nice if they'd consider it as two occurances, but they don't.  I just discussed it with my manager, and I don't think I will have an issue if I'm on medical leave.   I will probably only be able to be off work 6 to 8 weeks post partum.  

[SoCalTricia]

Yvette, I can sympathize, as you know...I don't have all of the issues you do, but I'm dealing with a couple of them. It's overwhelming at times!

Regarding the NSTs...mine aren't as long at Diabolica's. I'm usually there for less than 20 minutes. I'm hooked up to the machine for 15 minutes, and they do a quick ultrasound to check fluid level. I go during lunch time so I don't have to take time off. Luckily, my perinatologist is in the city I work in.

My appts aren't as bad as yours...but close. Two NSTs a week, thorough ultrasound (for size) every two weeks, and regular OB every two weeks. So, most weeks I have three appointments. Started in two weeks, I'll have four.

As far as the FMLA...maybe it's the size of the company you work for? It's unfortunate that they don't consider the prenatal and postnatal two separate occurances. I work for a county agency, and we are actually allowed to take off up to 26 pay periods (one year) of FMLA, and it's separate from any doctor-ordered time off before baby is born. Of course, the short-term disability (it's county-paid, not state) only lasts 6-8 weeks, depending on doctor's orders. Anything beyond that is on your own dime - you can use your stored-up vacation leave or take it without pay. But they will hold your job. I was off with my son for about 25 weeks, but the last 12 weeks was without pay. This time I can only afford to take off 12 weeks, but I have enough vacation stored up to cover it!

Anyway, Yvette...I know you're stressed...but I just know everything will turn out fine. Do what your doctor says, take good care of yourself, and TRY TRY TRY to relax. And I'm here any time you need to vent (or have a question since we have a few of the same issues)!

Tricia

[Diabolicafemmia]

the NST's last between 30-45 min. I always have to fight myself to stay awake! Im suprised your peri isnt doing the delv with the issues you've been having.

[Tanker Chic]

I stopped seeing my OB..  when the peri said I needed to start seeing him every week, I told him I wanted to switch my care over to him and make him my primary dr.  I could tell he felt bad.. like he was steeling a client, but it worked out...  I had to change hospitals also..  

[YvetteY]

To Diabolicafemmia:  No the OB's going to deliver baby.   I think it will be crazy when I start seeing him once a week.   That's what they are going to do with me NSTs twice a week and Biophysical profile once a week at Perinatalogist.  I'm at 28 weeks so I have a little bit more to go...thank goodness I'm coming in for home stretch!  BTW how long are the NST's?  My first one is next week.

To OceanV:   I haven't been doing too bad with just diet.  I don't really mind the diet and it's probably ultimately better for me anyways.   I'm at the stage where I just saw the nutritionist and it's still TBD if I'll go on insulin.   If I do, I don't mind so much.   So far good reading.  I even had a decent reading after gettting a KFC 2 piece grilled chicken meal, with green beans, cole slaw, and the biscut.  

[Diabolicafemmia]

is the peri going to deliver you? Im asking because I was able to cut out my OB appts all together. They saw no point in me continuing w/ the OB is the baby was being delivered by the peri (which she is). May be one less thing to worry about.
I HATE the NST's. they stress me out (I have one every 2 weeks, and see the peri weekly)
just remember hon, you've made it this far. you are under close care, so the chance of something going a miss is low.

[oceanv]

Sounds very stressful, but it seems to me pregnancy is geared towards stress...... unless you're like my friend erin who doesn't worry about anything and couldn't get organized enough to worry about being worried anyway......

in regards to #2, if you can't control it with diet don't be a hero just go on insulin....WAY less stressful and not as bad as you might think (I've been on it since 17wks) watching your numbers be high even though you're doing everything in your power diet wise just makes a person STRESSed out.

Good Luck with the rest of your issues, hopefully things get a little calmer,
Joanne

[Tanker Chic]

Oh rats!!  Some people told me about that for my situation and I was hoping it was true.. My job is letting me work from home so it hasn't become an issue for me yet.. it always could at some point but I have been really lucky this far..  

[YvetteY]

I wish the FMLA worked like Tanker Chic mentioned.  But it's 12 weeks in a rolling 12-mo period, not per occurrence.  If it were per occurrence it would be nice.  After the 12 weeks is up then I'd be on medical leave at which point my job isn't protected.  So it may or may not be there for me.   I already checked into this with HR.  I asked about getting terminated if I went beyond the 12 weeks and how that worked.   I think I'll be okay if I'm taking 2 weeks over the 12 weeks.  But I would have preferred to take the 12 weeks after the baby was born.

[usuk]

Sorry. This is a lot to keep you up and night.
#1 on your list my office partner does at age 39 and one other woman i know
#2 as you know is not your fault and is very common
#6 is just what it is :) you can't change that
I do not know about all the US defect detection either. But it seems as though all these appts are letting you know what they see at each milestone which is better than the alternative. I hope you do not have to decide between time off now or time off later, but it seems time off now is more important. Was your DH the one who wanted to be home 12 weeks????

[Tanker Chic]

I don't know about the medical stuff, but I think the family leave act covers you for before and after the birth as two separate events. I think if medical circumstances require you to take off, by law they have to allow u up to 12 weeks and then after the baby is born they have to allow up to another 12 weeks for maternity leave. I would ask your HR department or google it, but I think that is right. Of course this does not include pay. They just have to hold your job for u.

I'm sorry you are going through so much.