Aa
How many doctor visits has your husband/partner/SO gone on with you? (Warning vent- long)
I am about 27 weeks- and my partner has gone to one visit and one ultrasound.
I have experienced a few problems in this pregnancy. I was really counting on him to be there with me on a few more visits than this. And yes- I make most of the visits/ultrasounds on his days off of work- so that he is always able/welcome to come. A few weeks ago- he said he was coming- how important it was- balalal- kept telling me that. On the day of the appt- an hour or so before- he said he wasn't going- he wasnt well. (His back hurt- an ongoing issue which he refuses to go to doctor for.) I told him to come with me and he could be seen by one of the family practice doctors- he refused. That day at appt- I ended up being transfered by ambulance to the hospital. I called him to let him know- as I wouldnt be able to stop at the store for a few things. He finally made it to the hospital - umm- 5.5 hours after I called him. When he arrived he sat down- I was being medicated for preterm labor- and he tells me he knew he had to come or I would be Pi$$ed. Then starts to tell me all his problems/ aches/pains. Late that night I finally got some food/drink- shared the food with him- but needed the drink- as meds making me exteremely thirsty. I told him to get some money form my purse and get himself a drink from vending machine out in hall. He was ticked and was arguing with me- that I should share- balalala. Well nurse must have heard and brough him two drinks.
The next day- he did go see the doctors there like I suggested.
I was discharged- and first thing we had to do was PU vehicle that I ahd to leave at doctor's office- which he was not happy about. (he could have had a family member help him get it- as 2 miles from our house.)-= ESPECIALLY since I am on modified bed rest... and on way home he borrowed my cell phone to call his mom to complian to her about his troubles- and tell her how he will share his meds with her- but nothing about the baby and I. Maybe I am selfish- as he does have a bulging disc- which I ahve gone thru and tried to show him exercises- but he does not do them or follow the dorctors orders= go to therapy- just wants the VICODIN.
It hurts me because I have always been there for him when he is going thru things medically- for his appts- stopping and dropping/getting prescriptions- etc.
Sometimes- when I am contracting- I can't do something right away or whatever- and he will say what is wrong/going on with you- and so I tell him. Then he says he doesn't want to hear me complain that I should be happy about the baby- being pregnant. I try to explain I was NOT complaining- he asked. That also ticks me off- as all he does is tell me about this or that he is going thru.
I dont need him to go to every appt- but I needed him that day I was transfered by ambulance- as I had been contracting and knew something was up. Am I being selfish?
I have experienced a few problems in this pregnancy. I was really counting on him to be there with me on a few more visits than this. And yes- I make most of the visits/ultrasounds on his days off of work- so that he is always able/welcome to come. A few weeks ago- he said he was coming- how important it was- balalal- kept telling me that. On the day of the appt- an hour or so before- he said he wasn't going- he wasnt well. (His back hurt- an ongoing issue which he refuses to go to doctor for.) I told him to come with me and he could be seen by one of the family practice doctors- he refused. That day at appt- I ended up being transfered by ambulance to the hospital. I called him to let him know- as I wouldnt be able to stop at the store for a few things. He finally made it to the hospital - umm- 5.5 hours after I called him. When he arrived he sat down- I was being medicated for preterm labor- and he tells me he knew he had to come or I would be Pi$$ed. Then starts to tell me all his problems/ aches/pains. Late that night I finally got some food/drink- shared the food with him- but needed the drink- as meds making me exteremely thirsty. I told him to get some money form my purse and get himself a drink from vending machine out in hall. He was ticked and was arguing with me- that I should share- balalala. Well nurse must have heard and brough him two drinks.
The next day- he did go see the doctors there like I suggested.
I was discharged- and first thing we had to do was PU vehicle that I ahd to leave at doctor's office- which he was not happy about. (he could have had a family member help him get it- as 2 miles from our house.)-= ESPECIALLY since I am on modified bed rest... and on way home he borrowed my cell phone to call his mom to complian to her about his troubles- and tell her how he will share his meds with her- but nothing about the baby and I. Maybe I am selfish- as he does have a bulging disc- which I ahve gone thru and tried to show him exercises- but he does not do them or follow the dorctors orders= go to therapy- just wants the VICODIN.
It hurts me because I have always been there for him when he is going thru things medically- for his appts- stopping and dropping/getting prescriptions- etc.
Sometimes- when I am contracting- I can't do something right away or whatever- and he will say what is wrong/going on with you- and so I tell him. Then he says he doesn't want to hear me complain that I should be happy about the baby- being pregnant. I try to explain I was NOT complaining- he asked. That also ticks me off- as all he does is tell me about this or that he is going thru.
I dont need him to go to every appt- but I needed him that day I was transfered by ambulance- as I had been contracting and knew something was up. Am I being selfish?
i dont need anyone to go to appt with me, but i do need respect from my dh and if he treated me like your so does, i would be gone. you can write under a million names but if you ask and refuse to help yourself, what is the point?
get out of this relationship, its toxic and you need to have your kid(s) in a place where they are loved and safe.
get out of this relationship, its toxic and you need to have your kid(s) in a place where they are loved and safe.
Yepp, I recognize your style and story from previous posts. I agree with the others - we sympathize with you and we believe your story - but the thing is, we can't do any more to help you with these very serious problems. We are concerned, and our best and only way of helping at this point is to urge you to get help from REAL people in your community, such as social services, your doctor, your minister, any members of your family that you have contact with, and most of all, YOURSELF (by leaving this situation).
On this forum, as concerned as we are, we are only virtual people, and we can't give you the help you need. We are worried that you are feeling isolated and are substituting our virtual attention for the real help you must begin seeking. This won't get you anywhere. That's what we're afraid of.
So, don't feel rejected by us, but DO get out of this situation. Your problem right now is too big for us, but I hope you'll post again down the road (once you've started your new, better life) to give us an update and perhaps ask for support/advice about the smaller concerns that crop up along the way.
Best wishes and hugs,
~Wendy
On this forum, as concerned as we are, we are only virtual people, and we can't give you the help you need. We are worried that you are feeling isolated and are substituting our virtual attention for the real help you must begin seeking. This won't get you anywhere. That's what we're afraid of.
So, don't feel rejected by us, but DO get out of this situation. Your problem right now is too big for us, but I hope you'll post again down the road (once you've started your new, better life) to give us an update and perhaps ask for support/advice about the smaller concerns that crop up along the way.
Best wishes and hugs,
~Wendy
I thought that battery thing sounded familiar...well either way...I suppose help is needed...hope she gets it!
Really sounds like this person needs help.
adgal if you can help her with the right people that would be the best start for her.
Good luck and I hope she is incontact with you.
adgal if you can help her with the right people that would be the best start for her.
Good luck and I hope she is incontact with you.
this is the post from slippinandslidding/ read last paragraph of megryan about dad in jail
she has said she has only one sibling and then many she is making up stories.. hmmm people reamed poor nan a new one thinking she was made up and here is proof that this one is creating things...
by slippinandsliddin, Jan 09, 2010 12:21PM
Thanks all. Sorry this is long ...
As for my other family= my parents divorced and I am the oldest of many siblings- many waaay younger. Most dont speak to me because I talk with my one parent- just from time to time ... the other siblings were young and adopted by my step-father- sorry if TMI. I forgave this parent for abusing me- yes- they served prison time for it. I don't really want my baby there.
So my only option is really a shelter- which I have done before. (Awful experience. No one had the time to point me in the right direction for help- and they were over crowdeed- bugs- and SCREAMING/cursing all night- and I had to work- and I also have medical problems which are exasperated by lack of sleep- autoimmune ...) Anyhow- I am worried about leaving my thiings here ... and my dog. I know that all seems petty. There is a shelter- very close to where I am right now- walking distance. They have signs up at my doctor's office- as the Hospital runs it.
I now have no vehicle- or we would probably be sleeping in there ...
As far as thinking about good men in the world- I really dont think they exist. I think they are all pretend/fake ... and once they get you- their true colors come out.
I am not afraid or scared to raise my son on my own- I know I will do that with or without my partner in my life- as I feel we are alone already. I just wprry about him blaming me- for his dad not being in his life ... :(
she has said she has only one sibling and then many she is making up stories.. hmmm people reamed poor nan a new one thinking she was made up and here is proof that this one is creating things...
by slippinandsliddin, Jan 09, 2010 12:21PM
Thanks all. Sorry this is long ...
As for my other family= my parents divorced and I am the oldest of many siblings- many waaay younger. Most dont speak to me because I talk with my one parent- just from time to time ... the other siblings were young and adopted by my step-father- sorry if TMI. I forgave this parent for abusing me- yes- they served prison time for it. I don't really want my baby there.
So my only option is really a shelter- which I have done before. (Awful experience. No one had the time to point me in the right direction for help- and they were over crowdeed- bugs- and SCREAMING/cursing all night- and I had to work- and I also have medical problems which are exasperated by lack of sleep- autoimmune ...) Anyhow- I am worried about leaving my thiings here ... and my dog. I know that all seems petty. There is a shelter- very close to where I am right now- walking distance. They have signs up at my doctor's office- as the Hospital runs it.
I now have no vehicle- or we would probably be sleeping in there ...
As far as thinking about good men in the world- I really dont think they exist. I think they are all pretend/fake ... and once they get you- their true colors come out.
I am not afraid or scared to raise my son on my own- I know I will do that with or without my partner in my life- as I feel we are alone already. I just wprry about him blaming me- for his dad not being in his life ... :(
Just read this through. I didn't catch the MegRyan, but there is no doubt it's SlippinSliding. Same batteries and sewing the diapers, etc.
Honey, as we talked about when you came on earlier, you need to get out of there and get help. My offer to talk to you and help you find safe and good resources in your area still stands. PM me if you want. I can use contacts I have here to help put you in touch with the right people there. I am not on as often lately, but do at least read the posts and my PM's most days. I promise I will do what I can to steer you in the right direction.
Honey, as we talked about when you came on earlier, you need to get out of there and get help. My offer to talk to you and help you find safe and good resources in your area still stands. PM me if you want. I can use contacts I have here to help put you in touch with the right people there. I am not on as often lately, but do at least read the posts and my PM's most days. I promise I will do what I can to steer you in the right direction.
Here is the post where slippinandsliddin is megryan and talks about her dad going to jail for a long time just like in the post that ecologic put up.. Why do you keep making new names? What are you looking for???
by megryan, Dec 26, 2009 08:53PM
To: treeFrog7, and mjmom
I just wanted to say to Treefrog- you were right. I didnt really confront him- but he was complaining about what I got him for Christmas and the fact that I am a "taker" instead of a "giver"- which is NOT true... and I told him at least I dont lie to him. Well- he said he was NOT lying- you were right= that when he told me he had to work for his day job he did. And when I told him to have a good day at work- that it was x-mas eve and cust. would be nice to him- he did work- as he does each and every day if not at his day job. And when I laid his clothes out for work and he did not speak up he says that isnt lying. So I hear Dr. Phil saying you cant change what you dont acknowlege. It is deceptive and a betrayl of trust. What if I had a miscarriage and didnt bother to tell him- just let him keep thinking worng ... he is warped and manipulative. Yes- I am ALREADY alone. Just like I was for at least 5 yrs of my first marriage. ALONE but with someone else to put up with and help out ...
He screamed at me today. Telling me I WAS the liar. ?? That he didnt want the baby- hoped I miscarried- and that everyone hates me .... blalalla. Called me his ex's name a few times and said it was no wonder my ex cheated on me in my own bed- that i deserved it. I was a fake ___itch. All I do is make arguments- blalal. He blocked me in a room and wouldnt let me leave- so we could "talk." (Or he could try and justify his "lying".) I had to pee and tried to pass- and it was just a bad scene. (Kids werent here.) I did get in to the bathroom- after pretty much peeing my pants. He let me out when I rolled down the windows to holler for the neighbors. Says I deserved how my ex treated me- being beat when I was pregnant- etc. That I AM the abuser- how I tried to get passed him. (I am half his size- he is 6'4 and 250 lbs.)
I DO so want - always have- my children to have two parents. My dad hurt me and went to prison for a long time- and I always wanted my kids to have a father in their life- but yes- a GOOD ONE. (My mom also was not a good one- she pretty much left me alone to care for my siblings so she could party- and I think blamed me for a man not being in her life permanently- but whatever- we dont speak.) I just really want that for my kids- but he needs help. But he says it is me- and I guess I do have some kind of mental issue to always be so forgiving- or a door mat. (I have since forgiven my father- so my family does not speak to me.)
by megryan, Dec 26, 2009 08:53PM
To: treeFrog7, and mjmom
I just wanted to say to Treefrog- you were right. I didnt really confront him- but he was complaining about what I got him for Christmas and the fact that I am a "taker" instead of a "giver"- which is NOT true... and I told him at least I dont lie to him. Well- he said he was NOT lying- you were right= that when he told me he had to work for his day job he did. And when I told him to have a good day at work- that it was x-mas eve and cust. would be nice to him- he did work- as he does each and every day if not at his day job. And when I laid his clothes out for work and he did not speak up he says that isnt lying. So I hear Dr. Phil saying you cant change what you dont acknowlege. It is deceptive and a betrayl of trust. What if I had a miscarriage and didnt bother to tell him- just let him keep thinking worng ... he is warped and manipulative. Yes- I am ALREADY alone. Just like I was for at least 5 yrs of my first marriage. ALONE but with someone else to put up with and help out ...
He screamed at me today. Telling me I WAS the liar. ?? That he didnt want the baby- hoped I miscarried- and that everyone hates me .... blalalla. Called me his ex's name a few times and said it was no wonder my ex cheated on me in my own bed- that i deserved it. I was a fake ___itch. All I do is make arguments- blalal. He blocked me in a room and wouldnt let me leave- so we could "talk." (Or he could try and justify his "lying".) I had to pee and tried to pass- and it was just a bad scene. (Kids werent here.) I did get in to the bathroom- after pretty much peeing my pants. He let me out when I rolled down the windows to holler for the neighbors. Says I deserved how my ex treated me- being beat when I was pregnant- etc. That I AM the abuser- how I tried to get passed him. (I am half his size- he is 6'4 and 250 lbs.)
I DO so want - always have- my children to have two parents. My dad hurt me and went to prison for a long time- and I always wanted my kids to have a father in their life- but yes- a GOOD ONE. (My mom also was not a good one- she pretty much left me alone to care for my siblings so she could party- and I think blamed me for a man not being in her life permanently- but whatever- we dont speak.) I just really want that for my kids- but he needs help. But he says it is me- and I guess I do have some kind of mental issue to always be so forgiving- or a door mat. (I have since forgiven my father- so my family does not speak to me.)
She is also slippinandsliddin,I immediately recognized the batteries story & exactly same abusive story - http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Pregnancy-35/Feeling-NOT-supported--/show/1142521
People gave her advice last time she complained about her abusive partner, Adgal was ready to contact her in private, not sure what she is expecting from this board: we can't remove her partner or magically change her situation.
People gave her advice last time she complained about her abusive partner, Adgal was ready to contact her in private, not sure what she is expecting from this board: we can't remove her partner or magically change her situation.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Pregnancy-35/Anyone-else-feeling-NOT-supported-by-spouse--partner--bf--etc/show/1079408?personal_page_id=826907&post_id=post_5000854
if you are not megryan you sound just like her and the same as her need to dump this jerk
if you are not megryan you sound just like her and the same as her need to dump this jerk
You are the same person under a different name we heard the story about the batteries.. We all know you chose an *** to have a baby with.. you have a previous loss with this same partner and I don't know why you chose him to have another baby with. We also know you are subjecting your two children from a previous abusive relationship to this man and his abusive ways. You need to leave.. I know you are searching for us to replace something that you need to put a band aide on your wounds but doing that will only allow you to feel better for the moment so that you continue to be with him. You are making poor decisions and you need to grow up and become a mother and protect your kids from this man. You already subjected them to years of watching the abuse of your former partner. Then you need to stop looking for a man.. because dear your picker is off...
My husband didn't come to many appointments but it didn't bother me much.
One thing you said did worry me. 'It is his money so he can spend it as he likes' I don't agree at all. He has a partner and a child on the way which means 'his' money is for his family unit, including you. He has taken on a new responsibility and while it might take him a while to realise this, he does need to understand it soon.
I am a huge believer that families should stay together unless things are very bad. You both need to think about your little boy. The relationship he sees as he grows up will be the model for how he will treat his future partner.
Take care.
One thing you said did worry me. 'It is his money so he can spend it as he likes' I don't agree at all. He has a partner and a child on the way which means 'his' money is for his family unit, including you. He has taken on a new responsibility and while it might take him a while to realise this, he does need to understand it soon.
I am a huge believer that families should stay together unless things are very bad. You both need to think about your little boy. The relationship he sees as he grows up will be the model for how he will treat his future partner.
Take care.
I am sorry that you are having so many problems. I honestly don't think it's hormonal either. If he is really getting upset over buying a soda or batteries for the baby stuff, there are BIGGER problems that will be coming soon.
What will happen when you need a box of $25- diapers or formula that is very expensive? I would defentily reevalutate this relationship.
Wishing you ___ months of pregnancy you have left. (not sure of #)
You/baby are the priority & he should be taking care of you.
What will happen when you need a box of $25- diapers or formula that is very expensive? I would defentily reevalutate this relationship.
Wishing you ___ months of pregnancy you have left. (not sure of #)
You/baby are the priority & he should be taking care of you.
Let me first say that I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this. I was engaged to a man that sounded very much like this....sounds like they had the same kind of mother, too. I ran fast.....didn't settle for him and now 12 years later have been married to a wonderful man for 10 years....don't settle...you deserve better. I think these kind of men look for women that don't complain or ask for much...as I'm the same way. That's what they need....someone they don't have to worry about or help!!!!! Run fast (I know...easier said than done...sorry!)
I agree with NZmom...you really should find a friend that would go to your appts with you. This would give you someone to share these special moments with and enjoy every visit much more!
Nola was right on the money, too. He will never be any different...in fact....I could bet things will only get much, much worse. Babies are fun and bring such joy to your life, but can bring a great deal of stress. This stress takes its toll on even the healthiest relationships sometimes!
I wish you all the luck with all of this...remember...you deserve much better and you are definitely NOT being selfish!!!!!!!
I agree with NZmom...you really should find a friend that would go to your appts with you. This would give you someone to share these special moments with and enjoy every visit much more!
Nola was right on the money, too. He will never be any different...in fact....I could bet things will only get much, much worse. Babies are fun and bring such joy to your life, but can bring a great deal of stress. This stress takes its toll on even the healthiest relationships sometimes!
I wish you all the luck with all of this...remember...you deserve much better and you are definitely NOT being selfish!!!!!!!
Take care of you. You and that little baby are priority number one. You can get a lot of support from the girls on this board, but you ultimately have to decide what is best/healthiest for you and that baby.
Best of luck to you. I am thrilled that you are having a little bundle of joy :) Just remember, take care of yourself. I'm not saying it is easy.
All my best.
Best of luck to you. I am thrilled that you are having a little bundle of joy :) Just remember, take care of yourself. I'm not saying it is easy.
All my best.
Hi,
I'm so sorry to read your post as the emotional pain you must are suffering due to your unsupporting partner.
I do hope you have a close friend that could go to your appointments with you and just be there for you at this important time of your life.
Your situation brings back memories for me from many years ago when I was pregnant with my second baby.
I decided to did it on my own when I was 6 months pregnant or I was going to be a mental state if I continued with the relationship with the uncaring drunk I was with.
I was a solo mum at 23yrs with two beautiful girls.
I never looked back.......
All the best and I know alot of us will be praying for you.
I send you lots of loves and hugs from New Zealand as I think that's what you really need right now.
Take care of yourself.
Aroha to you Erina
I'm so sorry to read your post as the emotional pain you must are suffering due to your unsupporting partner.
I do hope you have a close friend that could go to your appointments with you and just be there for you at this important time of your life.
Your situation brings back memories for me from many years ago when I was pregnant with my second baby.
I decided to did it on my own when I was 6 months pregnant or I was going to be a mental state if I continued with the relationship with the uncaring drunk I was with.
I was a solo mum at 23yrs with two beautiful girls.
I never looked back.......
All the best and I know alot of us will be praying for you.
I send you lots of loves and hugs from New Zealand as I think that's what you really need right now.
Take care of yourself.
Aroha to you Erina
Thanks all.
I think he is already resentful/jealous of the baby- how I do this or that for him- or if it doesnt start with a "B" ... so he says. I just tell him soneone has to worry about the baby and do for him- and it would be nice if he would share in it - and then I WOULDNT HAVE to do so much- that would be great.
Ya- the action thing I got. I KNEW he wouldnt go to that appt like he promised- blabbed so much about. I told him when I feel that warm fuzzy feeling in my heart when he is telling me something- that is now my B---S--- alarm ... (and yes- I have sewn things for my partner too...the big baby boy.) Sorry I am so sarcastic and feeling a bit mean today. Thanks all :)
My family lives in other states- and we have been together 5 yrs. I guess I am independent most of the time- but when I need him or ask for help- I REALLY NEED it. I am also not a complainer- as hospital staff was amazed at the amt. of pain/discomfort I can stand and just go with it.
I think he is already resentful/jealous of the baby- how I do this or that for him- or if it doesnt start with a "B" ... so he says. I just tell him soneone has to worry about the baby and do for him- and it would be nice if he would share in it - and then I WOULDNT HAVE to do so much- that would be great.
Ya- the action thing I got. I KNEW he wouldnt go to that appt like he promised- blabbed so much about. I told him when I feel that warm fuzzy feeling in my heart when he is telling me something- that is now my B---S--- alarm ... (and yes- I have sewn things for my partner too...the big baby boy.) Sorry I am so sarcastic and feeling a bit mean today. Thanks all :)
My family lives in other states- and we have been together 5 yrs. I guess I am independent most of the time- but when I need him or ask for help- I REALLY NEED it. I am also not a complainer- as hospital staff was amazed at the amt. of pain/discomfort I can stand and just go with it.
This should be a very happy and exciting time in your life, you don't need this IDIOT bringing you down or causing you stress. I know name calling is not nice, but that was my nice word for what he is. lol
Just remember, things never get better when you add a baby to the mix. If things don't change and you think this person is worth it, you should go to counseling, or perhaps,
choose to live without him.
Life is too short to be unhappy!
Just remember, things never get better when you add a baby to the mix. If things don't change and you think this person is worth it, you should go to counseling, or perhaps,
choose to live without him.
Life is too short to be unhappy!
So sorry that you are going through all of this, especially when you are already struggling with a high risk pregnancy. I hate to say this at a time when you are already under such enormous stress, but this situation does not sound good, and no, it in not your hormones. Your partner sounds quite self-absorbed and is not adjusting at all to the shift that your and the baby's needs now need to come first. Trust me, this will not get better and I fear that once the baby arrives he will resent the time and attention you give the baby. You are in a terrible position being financially dependent on him and I know that makes it harder to even think about leaving. He can say what he wants about what is important or what he will do but actions always speak louder than words - his priorities do not seem to be with you or the baby. Do you have any family nearby or other support networks? How long have the two of you been together?
I wish you the strength to make the right decisions for you and the baby. I will be praying and thinking about you, and best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy.
I wish you the strength to make the right decisions for you and the baby. I will be praying and thinking about you, and best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy.
You don't sound unreasonable. In your shoes, I'd be ready to be (essentially) a single mom, since that's what he's doing to you anyway. I'd also be very ready to throw him out of the house if he keeps this up once the baby is born.
It's an awful place to be in, but all he is going to do with this sulky and self-centered attitude is cause you and the child continuing pain. You're better off alone, without the expectation that somehow the Maturity Fairy is going to come along and zap him with a wand and turn him into a man, than you are hanging on emotionally to wishes and dreams that clearly aren't in his playbook at all.
My husband has his less-supportive moments, but I'd say it's on a scale of about 1% of what you're outlining, and even then sometimes I feel alone with my son. I would rather be alone, child or not, than be with someone who doesn't care about this most important thing.
It's an awful place to be in, but all he is going to do with this sulky and self-centered attitude is cause you and the child continuing pain. You're better off alone, without the expectation that somehow the Maturity Fairy is going to come along and zap him with a wand and turn him into a man, than you are hanging on emotionally to wishes and dreams that clearly aren't in his playbook at all.
My husband has his less-supportive moments, but I'd say it's on a scale of about 1% of what you're outlining, and even then sometimes I feel alone with my son. I would rather be alone, child or not, than be with someone who doesn't care about this most important thing.
I am so sorry sweetie. I felt sick to my stomach reading your posts. He is not a partner because he is not sharing any part of the proces with you. Just giving sperms doesn't making him a dad. It is his child too and he should be fully involved. For the record my DH has been with me for every single appt and u/s. He even gets up at 3 am in the morning when I am starving to make toast for me.
You deserve better. Please don't sell yourself short. Do you really want to settle for something like this. I know it's easier said than done but I was once involved with a selfish self centered man and fortunately we did not have any kids but even then I would have considred other options because the least you should expect form your partner is respect and clearly he is not giving you your due share. I am sorry but this is just how I feel. You have to set a better exampple to yor son and not settle for a person like this
You deserve better. Please don't sell yourself short. Do you really want to settle for something like this. I know it's easier said than done but I was once involved with a selfish self centered man and fortunately we did not have any kids but even then I would have considred other options because the least you should expect form your partner is respect and clearly he is not giving you your due share. I am sorry but this is just how I feel. You have to set a better exampple to yor son and not settle for a person like this
Thank you for the input.
I live in the United States.
I was hoping he would come to my latest appt- as had to change dr. to a high risk doctor and wanted him to meet. I know it isnt impt to him. I really try to get him involved and let him know he is welcome.
I need to make my office visits like VEGAS- what happens there stays there- if you wanna know you should be there. I guess it is mean- but I dont want to clue him in anymore on the happenings there. I also don't want to call in the event I get taken by ambulance again.
I just find it amazing that he will be able to get a sectional couch- LR furniture here---with his back hurting and all- and can't put up the crib. (Probably gonna ask a friend/relative to help me with it ... will wait til baby is born- as I know his response will be how I am cutting him outta the baby's life somehow.)
I need to go back to work or find another- less stressful- a sit down kind of job. (I've been selling some of my sewing items online- but money is not a lot.)
I am suppose to be on the couch- in bed...only getting my own food or going to the bathroom- necessary things- dr appts- etc. Told doctor/nurse I was doing laundry and they had a fit. If I go to the grocery store- I take the motorized wheelchair. (told them that too.) He is NOT going to do these things. He DID do some work outside the house and took out the garbage once. I am also drinking loads of water/liquids to calm the contractions- which are much better.
Oh- the night I came home from the hospital- his friend called. This is the friend he had just asked me about being the Godfather to our baby. Partner went on and on about how his back hurt- 30 minutes worth. AGAIN- never mentioned me or the baby. I ended up talking with his friend a few days later- as called to see how he was- and I told him myself. I ALSO mentioned my disappointment to my partner ...
I heard a saying on OPRAH the other day- FAMILY ARE THOSE people that are there when you need them ... thanks all for the help. :)
I live in the United States.
I was hoping he would come to my latest appt- as had to change dr. to a high risk doctor and wanted him to meet. I know it isnt impt to him. I really try to get him involved and let him know he is welcome.
I need to make my office visits like VEGAS- what happens there stays there- if you wanna know you should be there. I guess it is mean- but I dont want to clue him in anymore on the happenings there. I also don't want to call in the event I get taken by ambulance again.
I just find it amazing that he will be able to get a sectional couch- LR furniture here---with his back hurting and all- and can't put up the crib. (Probably gonna ask a friend/relative to help me with it ... will wait til baby is born- as I know his response will be how I am cutting him outta the baby's life somehow.)
I need to go back to work or find another- less stressful- a sit down kind of job. (I've been selling some of my sewing items online- but money is not a lot.)
I am suppose to be on the couch- in bed...only getting my own food or going to the bathroom- necessary things- dr appts- etc. Told doctor/nurse I was doing laundry and they had a fit. If I go to the grocery store- I take the motorized wheelchair. (told them that too.) He is NOT going to do these things. He DID do some work outside the house and took out the garbage once. I am also drinking loads of water/liquids to calm the contractions- which are much better.
Oh- the night I came home from the hospital- his friend called. This is the friend he had just asked me about being the Godfather to our baby. Partner went on and on about how his back hurt- 30 minutes worth. AGAIN- never mentioned me or the baby. I ended up talking with his friend a few days later- as called to see how he was- and I told him myself. I ALSO mentioned my disappointment to my partner ...
I heard a saying on OPRAH the other day- FAMILY ARE THOSE people that are there when you need them ... thanks all for the help. :)
I"m sorry you are not getting the support you need. My husband has made all but one appointment and that was because of a delayed flight. He will do anything that needs to be done...most of the time without me asking first. :) Ecologic is right, that's what a partner is supposed to do. If yours is not giving you what you need, you may need to rethink things. Good luck.
Are you the same person that posted under a different name a few months ago? Everybody had recommended this person (in Canada I think) that she leaves her partner and go to a shelter - though it's easier said than done.
If you're not the same person, you have the same problems and need to either think of counseling with this guy or even think of leaving him - at least start speaking to him and clearly tell him that his behaviour is totally unacceptable.
For info, my husband has gone to all the ultrasounds and most appointments with my doctor, he now vacuums the whole house and if I need to lay in bed he will bring anything I need to make me comfortable. That's the way a caring partner should be!
Good luck with the future, you deserve support!
If you're not the same person, you have the same problems and need to either think of counseling with this guy or even think of leaving him - at least start speaking to him and clearly tell him that his behaviour is totally unacceptable.
For info, my husband has gone to all the ultrasounds and most appointments with my doctor, he now vacuums the whole house and if I need to lay in bed he will bring anything I need to make me comfortable. That's the way a caring partner should be!
Good luck with the future, you deserve support!
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