my fiancé told me my crying makes him feel uncomfortable. ..

[DeannaH1978]

While I delivered my baby early via cesarean at week 37 due to my having preeclampsia on top of my having Sickle Cell disease. I was afraid to have the operation due to uncertainty of the possible complications that may occur.
My new baby girl who's 7 days old has jaundice on top of everything. I was trying to breastfeed my baby last night and  while she wouldn't latch hold to my breast I began to cry.
My fiancé tells me that my crying crying makes uncomfortable. That my multiple moods also has him not wanting to marry me anymore.

My feelings were hurt by his ignorance and utter stupidity while having a serious lack of empathy for what I've been through. I'm pissed off to the max...and his mother is in town. Staying at our house and I was never asked if that was alright. Ugh!

[spade22]

It's too early to tell if you have PPD - it's very, very, normal to have a range of extreme emotions in the first few weeks after delivery and that is when there are no complications.  Considering what you have been through, I wouldn't worry too much about PPD unless you continue to feel this way in a few more weeks.

That said, your finance reacted completely inappropriately and without any empathy at all.  This situation is likely very stressful for him too and he may just have said what he did in response to the stress he is under (doesn't excuse it but I am trying to offer a perspective from his view point).  Sit down and talk to him about this.  If he really feels the way he stated then the only good options I see are to go to a counsellor to try and work through this or to leave.    Getting married is huge commitment and is about supporting each other through thick and thin.  Right now he is not supporting you and what you need to determine is whether this is due to temporary stress or deep router in his personality

[siriuslydi]

What a jerk.

[DeannaH1978]

Thank you all. I think I just may have postpartum depression.  At 5 1/2 months pregnant I was fired from my city job in a nice paying position, to only get on unemployment and now that's getting ready to run out.

[BaneSprout1]

I really want to kick him for you. What an awful remark for him to make right now. I agree ask MIL for help. Get that support he is not providing anywhere you can. Congratulations mama and keep your head up!

[Nikki148]

I agree with Cheryl he just gave U a lot to think about!!! If he's not shown any concerns for UR feelings then what concerns will he show the baby? But I also agree with excited MAYB U could have post partum depression. Mayb speak to ur doc to c if u do. Or like excited said monitor how often UR cryn to c if u do have it. Either way U need supportive ppl around U! So If he or his mom not doing it they both need to go!!!  

[excitedfor6th]

Crying is normal? Just keep an eye on the severity of the emotions. If you find you are more sad than happy etc then you may have postpartum depression and that can get serious, good luck mommy and tell the guy to mind his business and show support till he pushes out a baby after nine month's of sharing a body and hormones.

[excitedfor6th]

Am still in pain. But according to him I am lazy. Sorry but I do what is truly (needed and the rest of the time I will spend breastfeeding and caring for my new baby.

[excitedfor6th]

Most men are idiots. I just had our sixth baby two weeks ago and the day I had my baby we came home. My husband said I was being lazy because I was in too much pain to go about our everyday activities. Men do not understand and never will due to not going through delivery, I Am still on pa

[LoveCake98]

Breastfeeding is hard.  Some people have no idea--I know my expectations were way off when I had my first child.  I cried when it wasn't working out too.  Involuntary tears streamed down my cheeks when baby was latched correctly and lactation RN told me to just pump.  You hang in there mama.  You're doing the best you can during a stressful time and your guy is being insensitive and unsupportive.  You tell him to get on board and support you through this.  Give him tasks to do so that he bonds with baby too. This is one of many future stressful situations where he will need to step up.  As far as the MIL--I'll bet she'd like to help and if that's not the reason she is there than he needs to lead that relationship and give her the boot or tactfully put her up in a hotel.  You'll get through this.  

[jlkmom]

What an idiot. You deserve better.

[Cheryl41]

Congratulations mommy!!! What a ***..not cool at all..maybe u need to tell him u don't want to marry a *** nd mothers sacrifice so much to bare there kids cuz men couldn't handle the pain...I too am having breast feeding problems my son is 5 days old..hang in there nd maybe just rethink everything cuz he just gave you a whole lot to think about..just saying.