Taking longer than normal to get pregnant, why??

[natalie910]

Hi all, I've been around since Feb when we lost our baby due to mc. I've posted here and there and have gotten a lot of encouragement. We've been ttc again for the last 3 months with no luck. I'm 38 and have had 3 healthy children and the one loss. I've always gotten pg on the first or second try but now I'm not having any luck. I'm becoming anxious and a bit depressed, since the loss, it is taking longer than normal and now I'm getting concerned. We tried pre-seed last month and I am taking pre-natals. I'm just looking for some suggestions, really. I was thinking of talking this over with my dr but don't know if it has come to that yet. With each month I'm getting more discouraged. I know 3 months is not a long time for ttc but I just worry b/c it has never taken us more than a few months. I had a missed m/c and a natural delivery. There were no complications other than the heartbreak of losing our little one. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[natalie910]

Tricia, thanks for the advice. You may be right...maybe I am O earlier b/c we always bd on cd 12-19. We could be completely missing it. I'll give it a few months and then contact my ob.

Thanks again and good luck to you!

[SoCalTricia]

Natalie...just one more comment about the ovulation predictors...that might really help! I've always had a regular 28-day cycle, too. However, apparently as I got older my actual ovulation day changed. When I got pregnant with my son (I was 30), I ovulated exactly on day 14. This time (I'm 40 now), trying to get pregnant, I decided to try the OPKs. I was surprised to discover that I now ovulate earlier in my cycle! I ovulated on day 10...which meant we were completely missing it every month by BDing on day 12 - 16. Anyway...just another suggestion!

And, to echo what the others said...three months isn't a terribly long time. I've had several young friends (late 20's and early 30's) who tried for almost a year before they finally got pregnant! I would also encourage you - as did some of the others up there - to go ahead and make an appt with an RE or even just your OB. It can't hurt and, because of your age, you can get help sooner!

Good luck to you!
Tricia

[natalie910]

Thanks girls for all the words of encouragement and great advice. I was very emotional yesterday when I realized I had to start all over again. Like I said I was putting so much pressure on us to be pg b/4 our edd in July. We've been bd a lot, maybe too much...lol. I did buy the basal thermometer and will start temping tomorrow. I didn't have any luck in finding the digital OPK's but I'll keep looking or buy them online. I'm not going to give up, I know it will happen...I wish I weren't so anxious.

Amanda, I know you've been through so much this last year..I've been reading your posts since Feb, I'm just so happy for you and you are in my thoughts and prayers continually.

Pam, you are such a sweetie and so uplifting...you're almost there!! I can't wait!

Jen, thanks again for your kind words. Your little guy is so adorable...you are truly blessed..what a gorgeous family!

Everyone else, thanks again...I'll keep you all posted.

[PamelaBee]

Hi Natalie, I understand your frustration.  Three months is really not that long at all to TTC, but I know as each cycle passes and you get a BFN it makes you feel less optimistic.  I do agree if you have no luck after 6mos to seek an RE.  I would suggest as Amanda mentioned, the preseed and the ovulation kits.  Be spontaneous with sex, don't just have it when the OPK indicates, have sex sporadically throughout the month, starting a week after your period.  I know it sounds like alot, and who has the time and energy for all that sex, right??  I wish you much success, and don't give up!!!  Pam

[mlb1234]

I agree, time is of the essence when you are over 35y.  

[40smama]

Hi natalie - you got some good advice from everyone - I just wanted to add something - if you don't get pregnant in the 6 month period, let me echo Yvette's advice - go to a re to help things along.  You'd be amazed at all of the resources available to you!

I wish we had gone sooner ..sigh...I thought it wasn't a big deal to wait but I learned otherwise, drats.  I really do think though at your age your chances are very good especially in light of your three healthy pregnancies!

I remember being all freaky when ttc after my 2nd trimester m/c so give yourself time and don't be hard on yourself.

[YvetteY]

They advise that you see a doctor if you don't get pregnant in 6 mos if you're over 35.   If you're younger it could take up to a year.   But you fertility drastically declines once you hit your 30s.  It's due to the fact that your eggs become of poorer quality.  If you see a doctor, he might help you be more aggresive in your efforts trying to conceive.  Heck 5 months isn't that long, try 3 to 4 years.  Seriously talk with your doc if you don't get pregnant within 6 months.  Time isn't on your side and with a doctor you could get a jump start.

[mlb1234]

I agree that 3 months is not that many months of TTC but I still totally understand your frustration.  Usually if you are over 35y and have been trying for 6 months with no pregnancies you can get a referral to a Reproductive Endocrinologist.  Sometimes you just need a little boost from clomid to get you going (many OBs will also prescribe clomid though).  It is something to consider if this goes on for too long.  I don't think a call to your OB would hurt anything though.  Also my RE suggests waiting two full cycles after a m/c before trying again to make sure the uterine lining is ready.  And if you use the Robitussin make sure is not the DM kind.  For myself I always liked the clearblue easy Ov test kit but it's not cheap.  I also found it was best to use the same brand of kit every month or I'd get too confused and wonder if they were working.  You could also try temping first in the morning and charting your cycles that way to determine ovulation (it's the cheapest method!).  All these methods work but you have to do them a month or two before you know what you are looking at.  There is a lot of info on the web about temping and some experts here.  I think you have a great chance at this working out - just keep trying!!! :)  Best of luck!!

[adgal]

I was actually amazed at the difference in my cm when using the robitussin...really noticeable.  As for the OPK's, I hated every other brand.  I always found interpreting those lines to be frustrating.  The ClearBlue digital is either a happy face or not.  Up until Nov or Dec of last year my cycles were always 28 days as well...like clockwork.  I too always sort of assumed I would O on CD 14.  Turned out I would get my LH surge around day 11 or 12, and would start BDing that day.  After a few months, I started a day earlier. Seems to have worked for me!

I know how frustrating this is. However, 4 months is not all that long.  It can take our bodies awhile to recover.  After 2 of my miscarriages it was 5 weeks before I got AF, and even for a cycle or two after that I was really irregular.  Hormones readjusting I guess.

I hope some of this works for you and I just know I will be congratulating you soon!  Hang in there, and keep going, it'll happen.

[natalie910]

Amanda, thanks for the advice. I have switched to half caffeine coffee and don't really drink alcohol very often but I have noticed less cm. I will try the robitussin, I've heard of that but didn't know if it actually worked. Now I have tried several brands of OPK's with no success. I think I will try the clear blue digital if you think they are better. I have always assumed I Ovulate on cd 14 or 15 b/c I have a 28 day cycle and am regular. We've tried BD every day around the time of O which really wore us out...lol. The last few months we've tried the every other day method but still no success. I know we haven't been trying very long but I am anxious as I am not getting any younger. My edd is coming up on July 19th and I really put a lot of pressure on my DH and I to be pg by that date. Unfortunately that didn't happen. Thank you again for your advice...I'm going to give it my all this month, I think it has to happen sooner or later...I just want it to happen sooner :)

[adgal]

In all honesty, trying since Feb. is really not that long.  As we get a bit older it can take a bit longer.  I also used pre-seed which worked well for me, but I truly swear by the ovulation predictor kits.  I personally prefer the ClearBlue Digital...they are a bit pricier, but well worth it to me.  Also, as women in our late 30's we can have trouble with our fertile mucus, so in addition to pre-seed, make sure your body is well hydrated....lots of water, minimal or no caffeine or alcohol.  These things can deydrate you.  The other thing I tried was Robitussin.  Yep, the cough syrup.  Make sure it's the kind that has Robitussin as it's ONLY active ingredient.  I would take a 3 or 4 teaspoons a day starting about 5 days prior to ovulation. My mucus improved like you can't imagine!  Just make sure you stop taking it as soon as you ovulate.  And lastly (although you are probably already doing this) after BD I would stay flat on my back, hips raised by a pillow for at least an hour.  I know most say 15 to 20 minutes, but I would stay put longer then that.  

Good luck Natalie, I hope I am soon reading about your BFP!!