Pregnancy: Age 35+ Community
What is wrong with me?
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What is wrong with me?

I was married when i was 17. I am now 32 and married to another man. I never used birth control with my first husband whom i started having sex with when i was 13. I never became pregnant by hiim. When we were seperated I was 20 years old and I had a one night stand (Please do not judge me of my past. I was young and I am ashamed of it). I became pregnant and had my 12 year old son from my one night stand. Thank god he was a decent man and is a great father. Anyway, Ive been with my second husband since i was 21. It has been 11 years that we have lived together and I have never gotten pregnant by him. What the hell is wrong with me?
18 Comments Post a Comment
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134578_tn?1404951303
Maybe you marry men who don't have a high sperm count.
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Thanks for your answer.
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My first husband is remarried and has 3 kids with his second wife.
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All things haappen for a reason.  Thank God you were blessed with a child.
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Avatar_f_tn
Have they done blood work to find out if there is a reason your not getting pregnant? I don't mean that rude. I have a problem myself I can get pregnant but can't keep it.  They had to run all kinds of test on me.
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I have witnessed 3 people who went through the same thing. Married no kids and when they remarried they had many kids. Testing helps.
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134578_tn?1404951303
I hope you don't think I was being facetious, I was just saying that maybe the fault is not you, but your spouse.  Does either guy have kids with someone else?  It would be too bad to accidentally choose two guys in a row that have low sperm count, but having a sperm test done is relatively simple and it's def. the first thing that fertility docs will check.  Don't blame yourself until you have to, or at least don't automatically blame yourself.

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13167_tn?1327197724
Very often couples are infertile when each individual partner isn't infertile.

You're not infertile,  and your first husband is also not infertile since both of you have children with other partners.

There are so many dynamics that have to work perfectly to result in a pregnancy - the woman's body ph has to be "safe" for sperm,  the path to the egg has to be clear,  etc.  A man with slightly low sperm county and motility may not be able to get her pregnant,  but  a man with a very high sperm county that is very healthy,  mobile and long-lived may be able to.

The same way,  a woman with very "safe" ph for sperm and completely clear fallopian tubes who ovulates predictably with healthy,  live eggs may be able to get pregnant with a partner with lower sperm count and motility.

At this point,  if you want to get pregnant by your current husband,  I agree with the others - you need to get tested to find out what's keeping the two of you from being able to conceive.
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4738473_tn?1360039398
Have you been actually tring to get pregnant or just relaxed and not preventing? I have a close friend that activly tried for 6 years and was so stressed out with not being able to do so. They both got tested and showed no issues. They had finally decided to adopt 2 children and had barely had them a month when she found out she was pg. Her dr told her she most likely stressed to much and once she was distracted and not intent on becoming pg it seemed to happen for them. They now have 2 of thier own and 2 adopted children.
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134578_tn?1404951303
I didn't see where the first husband had kids by another partner.  
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13167_tn?1327197724
Annie,  it's in her third post in this thread.
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134578_tn?1404951303
Thanks, RR.  

Anyway, to the o.p., if you can, you should see a fertility doc with your husband, and both of you get some testing done.
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Thanks for your answer. No, I have not been trying. I just figured if it happened that would be great. But nothing happens.
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Thanks, I will!
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You are right. I was blessed with a beautiful son but I cant shake that feeling of wanting a child with my husband.
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No tests yet. He wont go.
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Thanks for all of the info. It was very helpful.
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Thank u
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