Just a few things

[PriceFamily91611]

Just a few things.... Life is so unfair, I'm seriously at the end of my robe!! I don't understand why ppl get pregnant on purpose when they r in a Rocky relationship!!! It's not healthy for the child! Another thing is, I don't understand why God allows ppl to get pregnant that are so unstable, don't like kids, don't need kids, don't have a job, car or money, it's like all the ppl who desire kids can't have them and all the ppl that don't desire them can have them. I just dont understand why God allows this!! I really need some prayer!

[Emily_MHManager]

Hi everyone -

This thread is now closed.  It helps to be able to vent, but we don't want anyone's feelings to be hurt in the process, even if that isn't the intent.

Happy Holidays, everyone :)

Emily

******************************* CLOSED THREAD ***************************
                                NO MORE POSTS, PLEASE

[PriceFamily91611]

Also I'm talking about anyone here, I'm referring to ppl I know personally and deal with. Yes people do get pregnant and turn their life around which is awesome, but not everyone does. Everyone had a different story about their life and things that have happened.

[PriceFamily91611]

I'm not judging anyone, I just pray for ppl and whatever situation they ate in. Also I tell ppl I know what I think if they ask me, I'm very put spoken person when ppl ask me what I think n such.

Sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings.

[Cassandrajane]

I didn't mean the end of my comment harshly, about don't vent here, its just topics like this WILL cause unnecessary drama, and cause probably scared pregnant people in these situations, too scared to post or ask questions, because of posts like this basically putting those people down, therefore they think they don't have a chance anywhere and pretty much useless, because its kinda how some of this comes off!! Many people do turn their lives around and no one notices!

[NicoleW09]

I agree that it is okay to blow off some steam here, but we must also remember to be respectful and tactful. Because the things we say in anger and sadness have the potential to hurt others.

[MsKitty84]

Thanks for sharing. You're right that sometimes moms who have kids with different dads have been through a lot and shouldn't be judged too harshly. I don't think those situations are what anybody's talking about. Two of my best friends are still in their early 20s but already on second marriages with kids from different dads. One's a his, hers, ours situation; she got pregnant right out of high school, dad ditched her for months, then suddenly proposed right before the birth, turned out to be an abusive deadbeat. Besides her own two, she's a stepmom to two adorable kids with a terrible, neglectful birth mother. The other went through a string of bad boyfriends (most of them on hard street drugs), got trashed on Halloween and wound up pregnant. Tried to make a marriage out of it because that's what her family expected and it turned out to be a disaster. She has a new spouse and child and is much better off now.

Sometimes when ladies who are expecting or want to be moms are surrounded by examples of irresponsible adults and bad parenting, they just get frustrated. People should be allowed to let off some steam here.

[Ashelen]

I think it's wonderful that everyone feels that they can come here for support.

But remember when you're venting, your problems are your own and no one else's fault...so let's not harshly judge other people because THEY come here for support too.

Just remember to be kind..I've seen some pretty cruel things said here, and I understand people are hurt, but the people who come here in the situations you describe looking for support and perhaps a way to turn around their life...well, they might not post because they see how poorly they would be received.

Just try to keep it kind and remember that you can't cruelly judge other people when they have done nothing to hurt you, as much as it might hurt to see someone else with something you so desperately want. Fertility problems are one of the cruelest things on this planet, there is no doubt about that, but someone else having or not having babies won't change what has happened to you.

It's great to vent, and everyone is welcome to come here to seek support. But that's the thing...EVERYONE is welcome to come here and seek support. Just keep it kind ladies, and I hope everyone has a great week-before-Christmas!

Thanks,
Co-Community Leader Ashelen.

[cnhauk]

This is actually the perfect place to vent and complain. We say things on this forum that we can't necessarily say to anyone we know in our "real" lives. I know not all girls who start out drinking and smoking and partying turn out to be terrible moms. Obviously sometimes children can bring out the best in people and can be the reason to turn your life around, and that's awesome when that does happen! But for those who don't turn around, it's very sad and very frustrating to those who can't have the babies they desperately want. We're not here to judge people, but I think we should be allowed to vent our anger and frustration here. No one wants to hurt anyone's feeling-that is not the intention of this post. Someone is hurting and confused and needs to know there are others out there who can relate to her and show her some support.

[Mesha4567]

It's comical to hear you all talk about god and then go on to judge other mamas so harshly.

[Cassandrajane]

I just need to say, I don't see how a woman who gets pregnant by a few different men can be bad, my mum, has 3 kids, we all have different dads, and nothing wrong with her or us, she hasn't been around, she's not a s*** or she's not a bad parent, yes she is a single mum, because my mum and dad didn't work out like she wanted, my sisters dad was a violent man, but she didn't realise this until after my sister was born, and her and my sister nearly died, but as soon as she found out, she moved me my sister and herself 6 hours away from where we were without him even knowing to protect us, my latest step dad, had a break down about becoming a real dad for the first time, started secretly drinking a lot, and nearly killed my sister. As soon as my mum found out, he was behind bars, my mum would go above and beyond for us. Tbh yes right now she isn't around much, because she HAS to work 2 jobs to put food on the table, and a roof over my brother and sisters head and to help me if I am struggling with my son! I'm a single mum, I didn't get pregnant to save my relationship, my story is, nov' 2009 I found out I was 5 months pregnant, seriously anorexic my baby, yes alive, but seriously ill from where I was starving myself, I had nooo clue I was pregnant, I WASN'T able to keep my daughter I wanted too but couldn't we would have died, so I had no choice but to abort, me and my boyf got back together, explains he wants a baby, I wanted a baby, so we made one, had a MC, got pregnant in the same week as my MC now I have my son! Nov' 2010 he leaves me for someone else, gets married, Aug'2011 that lasted 3 weeks, now he is trying with his son! You'd be surprised how many 'bad people' who get pregnant, who drink, do drugs and all this actually turn their lives around! But no one notices those people because everyone is sooooo focused on the people doing wrong because yes it is wrong! But if its not specifically YOUR problem, why bring it up and make a fuss about it? Yes I understand you're hurting right now and I am sorry for your loss, but stressing over something that really doesn't need to be brought up, especially on here as you will create a lot of drama for people, then it won't do you any good if you start tcc again, because you will have unnecessary baggage you don't need to have! And it will make it harder for you to conceive!

[PriceFamily91611]

Thanks ladies!! Prayer does work!! My father has been a pastor most of my life, I'm miracle myself!! I just feel that people should realize that a child is a gift, not freely given so to speak, if they don't want kids then get fixed!!!

[missstephyanne]

I know how yo feel. A week after my mc this girl sat right in front of me and said she was mad that she accidently got pg. I couldnt look at her or be around her without crying because i thought it was so unfsir. Dont lose hope, ill be thirteen weeks tomorrow. Many women go on to have healthy pregancies even after multiple mc. I pray every night and i truely believe it works

[tx555]

Don't worry I know exactly how you feel. After 4 surgeries on my ovaries, I was told I may or may not need IVF someday, and to prepare myself incase I lost my remaining ovary I plan on freezing my eggs. Well explain to me how it would cost me $10,000 to freeze my eggs (by the way insurance doesnt cover it even if you are an ovarian cancer survivor, dont even get me started on that), then if I need IVF another 20-30 grand. Then you've got some kids in high school that think it cant happen to them and they get knocked up just like that. It always seems to be the young girls that can't handle it that get pregnant, yet the ones that would be able to cope with it don't. Anyways, I wasnt actively trying, but literally as soon as I accepted to myself that I may need IVF someday BAM theres the possibility of a pregnancy, and I still worry my head off because I have no idea if its a viable one. I believe that as hard as it is right now, God has a plan. And yes, it will suck, it will REALLY suck and test your limits, but you learn and grow from the experience. And there's a baby out there that's perfect for you and your family just waiting for the right time :) Hang in there

[KWC2012]

I agree on how your feeling. I may only be 20 but I go to school and work a full time job and my boyfriend of a year is an Air Force vet and also works full time. I was in foster care up until a year and a half ago because my parents are pieces of **** and didn't want my brother and I. Some people really shouldn't be allowed to have kids but I wish you the best of luck. I guess me having a rough life just teached me all the things not to do while raising my child! He will be here the end of April and I just cannot wait!!

[smiley_one]

Some girls think that a baby will "save" the relationship, it normally doesn't. Right now I'm not in a good place, my mom threw me out, my family is disowning me, and it *****. My boyfriends family has taken me in, and all this has happened within the past 2 weeks :( It *****. I'm 20 weeks along, and then there are quite a few other girls my age who are pregnant who do drugs and drink all the time and seriously, they say I'm gonna be a terrible mother. Their baby dad abandoned them and say that my fiance is going to do the same. It just seems like some girls just try to bring others down. The girls I know have children by other guys, and nether the father or the mother has those children. They got taken away because of neglect, I swear some people need to grow up before they even think about having children. I'm blessed with being pregnant. I am so excited to be a mother, and Brent is so excited to be a father. I know im running off topic and ranting on things in my life, but this seemed like the right place to rant.

[cnhauk]

I agree. It breaks my heart when I hear about couples that have trouble conceiving and carrying babies.. It took me and my DH 9 months to conceive, and I would get so frustrated hearing of girls who got pregnant "by mistake". Don't get me wrong, I feel blessed that we got pregnant within 9 months, but that still seemed to take forever especially hearing of all these other girls having no trouble and having their 3rd/4th/5th etc baby with a 3rd/4th/5th different guy. I have a client who has had her 3rd miscarriage in a year, each one progressing to further in the pregnancy- this last one, she actually delivered the baby at 16 weeks... And I don't understand when God lets that happen to people who really want and deserve to have children.. I'm sure there's a reason and we'll know it all when we go Home. Till then, we just have to hold on and keep being optimistic and keep leaning on each other for support. I will keep my fingers crossed for you for a quick conception this time around and for a happy & healthy pregnancy.  

[PriceFamily91611]

Thanks for letting me VENT!

[PriceFamily91611]

Thanks ladies for sharing!!!! As some of you might know I have an adopted daughter that is 7 now and i got her when she was 4 weeks old, her "mother" is one of the worest I EVER met!!! She pisses me off like no other!! She has has 2 miscarriages since my daughter and she tried both times to get pregnant to trap 2 different men!! IM LIKE REALLY!! You can't trap someone no matter how hard you try!!! DUH!!! Well this she got with this other loser and got pregnant on purpose by him who beats her and does drugs and non-stop drinker!! well they thought she was having another miscarriage bc she bled like a week or 2 extremely heavy but she ended up having him and he's fine, however because she didnt keep her daughter which i have, she doesnt know what the **** she is doing and he is gonna b 1 in march and weighes over 40 pounds because she feeds him every hour because she thinks that because he cries he's hungry, she is big herself so she nothing wrong with it!! i was like really his doctor hasnt said anything about him being obease!!!! Then because i wouldnt raise him she got really pissed at me, i was like look ur almost 30 which is5 years old then me, i took your daughter when i was 18, grow up!!! I seriously CANNOT stand her!!! Im sooo glad i only have to talk to her on occassion, i feel sorry for the lil boy but im not raising ewvery kid she pops out, i got pushed into keeping my daughter which i have NOOO regret but to do it over and over again aint happening!!! then i know 2 other ppl knocked up that CLEARLY doesnt need kid's!!! Im just soooo frustrated!!!!

[hotmama78]

I been thru it dear... I can say I truly understand what you was trying yo deliver here. I face baby heart beat stop for 3 times and all 3 I go thru D&C :( and guess what I was a nanny before, I nanny neighborhood babies up to 9 baby from 6 weeks old up to 3 years.. some of them being left with me on and off.. some born in wild wild family where the father often beaten her and she was only 2 years.. when she come with bruise my tears drop and I hugs her so tightly.. in my heart saying I wish you were mine... :( after 4 years doing the nanny things I couldn't take it any longer I shut down.. a month later I find out I am preggy.. now I am 18weeks this Friday.. so just stay strong.. don't lost hope... when u see or know someone who treat they little one badly.. just do finger cross and tell yourself how I wish you're mine... silly maybe but words for me its a prayer!!! Who knows God will listen you... I am trying for 4 years and on and off face that case of baby heart beat stop its really killing but i keep believe the best haven't yet to arrived.. when the right one come no matter what happen its gonna be yours... I still so worry on and off every now and then but I am so positive to think this is finally the ONE!!!! Yours too soon... my pray for you.... hugs... xxxx...

[MsKitty84]

Totally understand. We weren't actively TTC but I went in yesterday expecting to see a 3-month fetus and doc found what looked like a 5-weeker. Now stuck waiting on blood work to see if it's viable. First pregnancy was a miscarriage last year.

But my 17-year-old brother can knock up some girl he's known maybe a month on the first try. High drama and lots of panicking for 9 months but she still manages to pop out a mostly healthy, normal-looking kid, completely at taxpayer expense. Now she's pinged off several states away, living on welfare with her "disabled" (read: overweight and don't like work) parents, and they aren't together anymore but he's gonna get a hefty education in child support in a few months. Rrrrrrrrr!

[CR2010]

Oh sweetheart! Believe me I've been there.... My sister is the worst fu**ing mother. I say that whole heatedly. She had a baby at 18. I got married at 18 to the love of my life. We kept trying for a baby because family was important to us especially because we were in military and gone from our family. Two miscarriages later my sister jumps up and down in front of me exited about another pregnancy with a guy she had been dating for a month... A MoNth! My whole family was disgusted the way she had no care about my feelings at all. But when she had her baby I was 6 months pregant but still

[PriceFamily91611]

Thank u! I have Dnc Thursday then I'll b able to try again in 2 weeks, I just don't understand, really ppl that have kids by 3-4-5 different ppl, which I know 2 ppl in that case right now n theses kids r gonna have such aessed up life!!! I question God why!!! I know the Bible talks about not questioning God but this is something I can't get past, even if I was still pregnant it bothers me to no end!!!

[agrell]

I know exactly what you mean...just recently a girl i went to school with who has 3 kids was charge with child abuse for allowing her boyfriend to beat her child and did nothing about it...its just unfair...there are so many ladies out there who cant get pregnant or who have trouble ttc and than you have the girls that get pregnant every 9 months and dont even want those children...im so sorry honey...i know what you are going through and im feeling the same way you are...i hope soon you get to be pregnant again and this one goes all the way...praying for you honey