Aa
pregnant and out of control
Hello all, i really need some help and advice during a heartbreaking time. Me and my gf were together for around 8 months before she fell pregnant and everything was wonderful, in fact we both admitted it felt like this was meant to be, we wanted to get married have kids etc, one time we thought she might be pregnant, so we did a test and she wasnt, needless to say we were both dissapointed.
We sat down and had a long chat about it and decided we both wanted kids and we wanted them now, we are both in our early twenties but it felt right, we tried and tried but nothing happened for a while as she has PCOS but one month by suprise we found out she was pregnant. I was over the moon, we dont live together so i rushed over to support her, but things didnt seem right, she was cold and distant and fessed up she didnt know if she wanted it, So i went back home as i had to.
Anyways few days later she came round saying she was just scared and wanted it, and wanted me, but she also seemed cold and distant, i tried not to let it bother me, so anyways she told me she was goin for a scan n i said cool, let me know when cos im coming over, and do u want me to stay over ive missed you (we hadnt seen each other for a month at this point) and she said do whatever the hell u want blah blah, and i said that wasnt very nice, and she kicked off
anyways since then she wont talk has deleted me on facebook, and never let me go to the doctors with her, i dont try argue back at all with her, just try to say nice things, but it seems she is done with me,
sorry its so long could this be hormones? i feel ive lost my best friend, she means the world to me,
Oh and shes about 10 weeks pregnant
We sat down and had a long chat about it and decided we both wanted kids and we wanted them now, we are both in our early twenties but it felt right, we tried and tried but nothing happened for a while as she has PCOS but one month by suprise we found out she was pregnant. I was over the moon, we dont live together so i rushed over to support her, but things didnt seem right, she was cold and distant and fessed up she didnt know if she wanted it, So i went back home as i had to.
Anyways few days later she came round saying she was just scared and wanted it, and wanted me, but she also seemed cold and distant, i tried not to let it bother me, so anyways she told me she was goin for a scan n i said cool, let me know when cos im coming over, and do u want me to stay over ive missed you (we hadnt seen each other for a month at this point) and she said do whatever the hell u want blah blah, and i said that wasnt very nice, and she kicked off
anyways since then she wont talk has deleted me on facebook, and never let me go to the doctors with her, i dont try argue back at all with her, just try to say nice things, but it seems she is done with me,
sorry its so long could this be hormones? i feel ive lost my best friend, she means the world to me,
Oh and shes about 10 weeks pregnant
Hey thanks for the replies, um yeah this whole situation baffles me, we were looking at houses and she was hinting she wanted to get engaged and stuff only a couple weeks ago, now she dont want me, kinda strange
My mind is in two places, i keep hoping she will come around and is just scared/ hormonal and everything else that comes with pregnancy but i dont wanna keep lying to myself and setting myself up for future hurt
im pretty sure the babies mine, i mean we were never apart until this last month, ive already told her i still want a relationship and want to be a good dad to our kid and a good partner to her and ill do whatever it takes to make this work but she isnt interested
dont really know what to do at the minute so im just giving her space
i think our 12 weeks scan is next week but so far she hasnt mentioned it to me
My mind is in two places, i keep hoping she will come around and is just scared/ hormonal and everything else that comes with pregnancy but i dont wanna keep lying to myself and setting myself up for future hurt
im pretty sure the babies mine, i mean we were never apart until this last month, ive already told her i still want a relationship and want to be a good dad to our kid and a good partner to her and ill do whatever it takes to make this work but she isnt interested
dont really know what to do at the minute so im just giving her space
i think our 12 weeks scan is next week but so far she hasnt mentioned it to me
I also agree somthing wrong i'm also preagant and i need my old man to be by my side i agree maybe u should do the dna to make sure the baby is your.....I don't agree about u not putting your name down as the father if she willing to let u put your name down then i would do so, u got 60 days after the baby is born to ask for the dna testing, if the baby come out not to be your then your name would be taken off the birth cift......If your not worried and u agree that your 100 percent sure that the baby is your then do what's best it's easy to put your name as the father then if dna testing show's your not the father, then your name will come off as u being the father, I had a baby in 2009 i would only give my boyfriend last name was if he put his name day as he was the father i new he was for sure we went to childsupport because he wanted the dna testing i'm sure he is glad that he put his name as the father , the test came back as 99.99 percent he was the father.....wish u the best of luck, hope she comes around
This seems very odd I would get a DNA test before you put your name down next to dad..... If she changes her mind like that about you it is weired no women wants to raise a baby alone so what the hell is she thinking? I would call her set up a face to face and ask her point blank no need to get involved in something if it is not even yours.... Sorry for your upset....
*Update
She text me saying baby is ok, and we are over, she wanted to leave ages ago, it was only a week or so ago she wanted to get married, hmm but thats life, gotta stay strong for my kid.
She text me saying baby is ok, and we are over, she wanted to leave ages ago, it was only a week or so ago she wanted to get married, hmm but thats life, gotta stay strong for my kid.
Hey im finding it really difficult to cope today, she still wont talk to me and im giving her space so we arent talking, its hard being shut out from a woman i thought was my soul mate and best friend, even more painful that i almost had it all a beautiful gf and a baby, now i have nothing
just needed to vent as im feeling very low today :(
just needed to vent as im feeling very low today :(
Yeah it truely is weird, ever since she found out she has been cold and distant and before she was the most loving girl ever, we talked about marriage, so she knows im serious and committed to her
she just started ignoring me after i said, something about her snapping at me about asking if she wanted me to stay over , and all i said was that wasnt very nice, hardly break up or ignoring worthy
and ever since then she has ignored me n even broke off our relationship on facebook (she is yet to confirm we are over in real life)
so i dont know, im truely confused, all i want to do is be there for her comfort her, have our child and one day marry her, but i dont know where this is heading now,
she just started ignoring me after i said, something about her snapping at me about asking if she wanted me to stay over , and all i said was that wasnt very nice, hardly break up or ignoring worthy
and ever since then she has ignored me n even broke off our relationship on facebook (she is yet to confirm we are over in real life)
so i dont know, im truely confused, all i want to do is be there for her comfort her, have our child and one day marry her, but i dont know where this is heading now,
I do not get this. I was only 19 when I found out I was pregnant I was so scared because me and my boyfriend had only been going out for 2m and he thought he could not have any kids so finding out I was pregnant was socking. But he was there for me he told me he would always be there for me and I gave him a chance. He purposed to me when I was 8m along that made the world of difference I new then that it was not just him telling me he would be there I had a ring on my finger that made it feel real and I was more at ease. I don't know if you are to this point yet but maybe her knowing that it is more than just you saying I am going to be there for you and I want this too. My be show her how much you will be there.. I don't know if she keeps this up and wont even talk to you I would want a DNA test is she feeling guilty about something? Just saying not that she is like that I don't even know her but sound weired to me.....
Pregnancy is a scary time. It could be that she is hormonal and worried about the baby and seeing the baby for the first time via ultrasound makes everything suddenly real and Your fears more pronounced. Give her time to adjust.
We used to spend so much time together i doubt she would fit time in to make a baby with anyone else lol, but yeah i will continue to be there for her, i love her so much, i would never just leave her alone no matter how mean she was, ill give her space and gentle reminders iim there for her, the waiting is the hardest, not knowing if she wants me anymore etc,
dont really know how it came down to this last week we were fine, and this week shes broke up with me virtually on facebook and ignores me in everyway, kinda weird but ill give her space,
hopefully she will come around, i cant imagine not being with her, as sad as it sounds she was the best thing that happened to me :)
dont really know how it came down to this last week we were fine, and this week shes broke up with me virtually on facebook and ignores me in everyway, kinda weird but ill give her space,
hopefully she will come around, i cant imagine not being with her, as sad as it sounds she was the best thing that happened to me :)
She could be suffering pregnancy related depression or it could simply be the normal emotions and hormones of pregnancy. the BEST thing you can do is to let her know you will CONTINUE to be there for her no matter what. (As long as the kid really is yours) but give her space as well. This is a very scary and life-altering time for her.
hey vaacumprincess thanks so much for the reply .
Ive been doing as you say leaving her alone and saying how much i love her and the baby and reasurring her ill be there etc. but not blowing up her phone, its been a week and i still havent heard i thing, i asked about the docs appointment and got ignored and just told her im here if she needs me
Its just kinda weird how she would delelte me on facebook and stuff seeing as we were in a realtionship on there and everything, i know its only facebook but she still hasent told me in real life if we are on or off, n facebook says off
who knows, i havent hounded her at all and have only been kind and honest so i have no regrets, guess ill just have to wait it out, its hard cos i love her dearly just a week ago i was looking into buying her a ring, and now she dont even talk, life is crazy
Ive been doing as you say leaving her alone and saying how much i love her and the baby and reasurring her ill be there etc. but not blowing up her phone, its been a week and i still havent heard i thing, i asked about the docs appointment and got ignored and just told her im here if she needs me
Its just kinda weird how she would delelte me on facebook and stuff seeing as we were in a realtionship on there and everything, i know its only facebook but she still hasent told me in real life if we are on or off, n facebook says off
who knows, i havent hounded her at all and have only been kind and honest so i have no regrets, guess ill just have to wait it out, its hard cos i love her dearly just a week ago i was looking into buying her a ring, and now she dont even talk, life is crazy
Hopefully she will come around. This is a scary time, especially for the mom to be...
I am 34 yrs old myself. I have a 6 yr old & I'm currently due to have a baby in less that 5 days! My husband & I planned this pregnancy. Last night I was completely FREAKING OUT! I can't get over the fact that there is a living human being inside me, who is comming into this world in a few days. I have felt this way on & off throughout my pregnancy. Scared, overjoyed, freaked out, having doubts & seccond thoughts. I certainly cannot say that I am not mature enough... come on, how much longer could I possibly wait? I love my husband dearly, but at times I completely bite his head off. I would like to blame my behavior on hormones, but who knows... I know what I say sometimes is hurtful or mean, but sometimes when you are just very scared or in some type of pain, the bad stuff just comes out.
That all being said, I think your girlfriend is just REALLY scared. Continue to try to show her support, but give her space as well. I know it is hard to go in two separate directions at once, but you need to try to remain calm & not give her too much pressure.
Try sending her a letter explaining how you feel. Don't call or text her like crazy. maybe a text every couple of days or so to let her know that you are still there whenever she is ready or if she needs you. If you hound her, she may feel smoothered & back away further.
I am 34 yrs old myself. I have a 6 yr old & I'm currently due to have a baby in less that 5 days! My husband & I planned this pregnancy. Last night I was completely FREAKING OUT! I can't get over the fact that there is a living human being inside me, who is comming into this world in a few days. I have felt this way on & off throughout my pregnancy. Scared, overjoyed, freaked out, having doubts & seccond thoughts. I certainly cannot say that I am not mature enough... come on, how much longer could I possibly wait? I love my husband dearly, but at times I completely bite his head off. I would like to blame my behavior on hormones, but who knows... I know what I say sometimes is hurtful or mean, but sometimes when you are just very scared or in some type of pain, the bad stuff just comes out.
That all being said, I think your girlfriend is just REALLY scared. Continue to try to show her support, but give her space as well. I know it is hard to go in two separate directions at once, but you need to try to remain calm & not give her too much pressure.
Try sending her a letter explaining how you feel. Don't call or text her like crazy. maybe a text every couple of days or so to let her know that you are still there whenever she is ready or if she needs you. If you hound her, she may feel smoothered & back away further.
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