Bad parenting

[Momof3cookin4]

This is driving me nuts but I have to get it out. I know how I was as a child being defiant and what not and I know a lot was because of my parents and how I was raised. I have PTSD depression anxiety and was diagnosed recently with type 2 bipolar, all among everything I haven't yet been diagnosed with. I do find myself to be over protective with my kids but very short tempered. I find myself almost yelling and getting mad when I am just concerned for their safety and what not. I know when my girls do stuff to get attention and even play fighting or doing the smallest things that I think about afterwards and realize it's just a kid thing and they don't mean any harm..  I find myself also getting mad, it's not just with them tho it's to hubby, my parents. Everyone. I really don't know how to explain it but I feel like a horrible person and like I'm a bad mom. The pregnancy isn't making my moods any better, at 35.5 weeks all I really want to do is sleep. I am supposed to be on medications but refuse to take things while pregnant. I know I need to go back to a dr and get meds but the last dr I seen only wanted to give me sleeping meds which again I refuse to take when I have kids.

[Momof3cookin4]

That takes a bit of stress off knowing that it can turn out good!

[katiij81]

My Mum has bipolar & was short tempered with us & we turned out ok so don't worry I know it's hard for Mum & we understand more now we are older.  I never thought of my Mum as a bad mother. Mum's top tip is to step out of room take 3 deep breaths & give yourself a second to think about how to deal with the situation.  This way you won't act impulsively.

[Momof3cookin4]

Thanks!!!

[sprmom87]

As soon as I deliver I plan on seeing a psychiatrist to get an official diagnosis on bipolarism. I know the signs and have been asked by professionals plus it is quite hereditary in the women on both sides of my family. I find myself doing very much the same things and feel horrible afterwards. I know there is a huge difference in my sister when she is on and off her meds, she is bipolar with schizophrenic tendencies... You are not alone in your feelings at least know that hun!

[Momof3cookin4]

Thanks a lot. I have actually been off meds for a few years and everyone says they see a huge change when I'm on them. I feel I have better control now then I did in the past... It doesn't help tho that hubby is the exact same way - just short tempered and goes off on the smallest things! We aren't quiet people by any means and I hate that. I am the one to try to get things calmed and quiet but if he's not yelling about something he's getting them going and instigating them. I think a big part of my yelling and "bitchyness"  is because of him and they listen to him more then me even tho he constantly gets them going.

[OctoberMommy2014]

it's not bad parenting, you're just going through a lot.. mentally & physically. I hate that you can't take your medications, but I respect you for the sacrifice for the sake of the baby..

I can't say I identify with you, but as a human being I can state my opinion:
you obviously have a condition to blame, and I KNOW you're not a horrible person or a bad mom. trust me, I've SEEN horrible people, awful moms, etc.
I'm happy to see that you've almost reached the finish line though, and hopefully you'll be able to get back on track with your medication soon.. even more so (I don't know your beliefs), but I pray that one day you won't need those medications.

my fiancé tends to have a short temper.. never been diagnosed with anything, but he really, truly loses it sometimes - for absolutely the most STUPID things.
he does no harm, not physically, but I've admitted that he's hurt my feelings before.. quite frankly I'm very tender-hearted (we were raised differently) and I can't handle yelling, fussing, fighting, etc. since I got pregnant, things have changed & he's seen me have a panic attack in the past.

whenever he reaches that "I've had enough" feeling, I just tell him to go away. whatever his reaction is GOING to be, isn't going to change anything, and yes.. he always ends up just feeling like a crappy, horrible person afterwards b/c everyone is looking at him like, "seriously.. you flipped out over THAT?!"

when you get that feeling.. walk outside, take a hot bath & lock the door, just do something to relieve that feeling. I make my fiancé go to another room.. I'll walk outside.. and it's never me that causes it, but it's usually me that makes him realize he's being way too dramatic. for you, it may not be dramatic, at all, but I don't want your kids to feel like it's their fault ya know? I'm sure you're a great mom, sorry I'm not an expert with any of that lol, but I will pray for you and keep you in my thoughts.. I know you'll be fine!!! ((((: & congratulations on the new baby!!