just want it to be over with :-( (trigger warning)

[GeekMom1213]

Found out yesterday at 11w ultrasound that baby stopped growing 2-3 weeks ago, no heartbeat, no hope. But my body isn't recognizing that and starting the process on its own. I have to call my midwife back today and tell her whether I want a) misoprostal, a medication to start dilation and contraction to expel what's there, or b) schedule a D&C for "surgical" removal, or c) wait for the process to begin on its own. But I don't know what to do.
I had a miscarriage in December that was the same way and had a D&C but the timing of it was such that I didn't see another option (I was a week away from my nursing school finals and graduation, couldn't bear the thought of beginning to bleed during exams). I don't know whether I want to do that again.
My body just wants to hold on so badly and my heart can't handle knowing I'm walking around with a dead baby in my uterus. This is such a hard thing.
Mamas who have miscarried this way, what did you do? If you didn't start to bleed on your own, how did you get through the process?

[rainabevins]

I have gone through this 3 times and the first I had to be dialated because I was 16 weeks and then was going in to do the d&e I woke up early morning in the worst pain I have ever felt in my life so far my water broke on the way to hospital and then ending up passing my baby in the lobby bathroom at hospital. Its still hard for me to wrap my brain around everything I seen. The other 2 times I have chose the d&c for me it was easier knowing I was with doctors who knew what they were doing and I was up that same day doing things. I am praying for you it is very hard to go through this and you will always have that memory I always say that God gives us what we can handle though we may not understand He will guide us and help us through these hard moments and the ones to come.

[GeekMom1213]

I've got a call in to my midwives... unfortunately (and obviously) none of them are surgeons able to perform the procedure so they are going to schedule a consult for me with a practice of OB's they've got close ties with. One of the OBs will be able to schedule me for a D&C hopefully by the end of next week.
This is really miserable. But I know I'll be able to get the physical part of the loss over with and hopefully start feeling better soon. Just not fair.

[PleasantlyPlump724]

I would do a d&c because the medication makes you hurt more than when your in actual labor I ended up in the ER for pain meds and the labor lasted 2 whole days

[KaylaMommy07]

THIS GOT ME TEARY OMG MY PRAYERS TO YOU I NEVER EXPERIENCE THAT BUT I HOPE ALL IS GOOD WITH YOU MAMA!

[ThY_MrS_Decker]

I'm sorry. ..this happen to me twice.. I had a dnc both times. I feel it's also healthier for you so everything gets cleaned out and you don't have to worry about am infection or anything. ..have they gave you a Rogaine shot??

[ftm502]

I'm sorry your going through this and im sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace and comfort.

[tfrancis]

I've had 3 8 week miscarriages in the past 2 1/2 years. The "easiest" one to move past was the one that I had a d&c.  The worst one was  the one that I bled heavily for hours and then passed out when  I passed a large amount of tissue.  I was just glad that I happened to be at the ob's office and not home alone with my 3 small children. I am very sorry for your loss.

[BG970]

I'm so sorry I know what you're going through I went through this last year and I decided to let my body do its own thing.after 3 and a half weeks my body was doing nothing so I took medication to help pass baby and it was the worst pain I could've imagined.It was exactly like going through labor but at home with no pain meds at all I had to take another dose a few days after and that time it was nowhere near the first dose it was less painful. But I went 2 and a half months going through that miscarriage and I believe it just made it worse for me to be able to accept the fact that I wasn't having my baby ever.if I would've known it would take so long I would go with a D&C.7 months after that miscarriage I got pregnant again and I'm now (today) 39 weeks.I'm real sorry for your loss but it will get better just give your body some time to recover and try again and hopefully you'll have a baby soon.I'll say a prayer for you.

[Sammiegirl28]

I'm so sorry, my thoughts and prayers are with you sweetie.

[mgevans]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this!! I had an elective termination a few years ago. I went for the medicine but if I had to make the choice again I would do the D&C. It wasn't physically unliveable, but you pass the pregnancy, which was mentally and emotionally awful. A D&C there is someone with you to take it away...I will never forget that moment, even though I choice it, I had no clue what it would be like.

[Candy_T]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

[mgevans]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this!! I had an elective termination a few years ago. I went for the medicine but if I had to make the choice again I would do the D&C. It wasn't physically unliveable, but you pass the pregnancy, which was mentally and emotionally awful. A D&C there is someone with you to take it away...I will never forget that moment, even though I choice it, I had no clue what it would be like.

[Maleka87]

I haven't experienced this kind of miscarriage. .. but I would probably get the procedure.  I mean...it's so gut wrenching either way, but I feel like maybe bleeding and having to deal with that may only serve as a longer reminder. I'm really hope I'm not coming off as cold or uncaring...I do not mean it that way! I'm just saying...if it were me I would feel the need to get it done right away. I cannot imagine the pain you're going through having to continue carrying the little one. I never understood why they allow that...it seems like the cruelest form of torture.

[BritNyabuto]

This just happened to a friend of mine...her baby stopped growing and had died at 9 weeks. She opted for the D&C only because she didn't want her little ones to be frightened when she would start the bleeding.

I am so sorry for your loss...my heart breaks for you.

[knufrio]

I have never suffered a miscarriage but I did have an elective termination about 9 years ago when I was only 6 weeks. I bring this up because I chose to terminate with the misoprostal and mifepristone combo and it was the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life. For three days I was unable to move from the couch except when I had to go to the bathroom to vomit from the pain. They gave me medication for the pain but that just made me sick as well. If I was in your position I would elect for the D&C because at least then you will have some closure over the loss of your little one. I cannot imagine the pain your going through and I could not imagine adding physical pain to the emotional pain you're already feeling.