disappointed and depressed

[kiafinesse]

So today I found out im having another girl as if I need 3 lil girls running around me. I already have 2 girls who I love dearly and had my hopes set on this one (being my last) to be a boy. Im so mad that I really dont want this baby and even came across my mind to abort this baby all because of its gender. And I feel so selfish and like im some horrible mother to even think this way. I cried all the way home today because the baby's a girl! Im mad at myself and my bf. I need help because I cant get over this....this is not something I can easily say oh well to. Im afraid that when the baby is born I will resent it and it will distrot my relationship with my bf

[tat87]

On the other hand, you're absolutely gorgeous, and surely make beautiful little girls, so at least you are contributing to the population with pretty babies ;)

[leannemariepalmer]

Is your baby healthy, and ok? If yes then you should be greatful for that not be disappointed that it is not a certain sex. There is ppl who can not have children for what ever reason, who would give anything to have not one but three health girls or boys.
WE cant pick and choose what we are given its 50/50 so if you know you'd react like this you should of not conceived another baby and stayed with the two you have. Or you could get on with the fact that you have a healthy baby growing each day imside of you and be happy.

[wyattsmom2015]

Your not alone and it is totally normal to those of us who have lots of the same gender. Don't feel like a bad person because it is not like you really want to hurt your baby, you came on here for advise on how to get help with your feelings. I hope you know that is a sign of a good mother. I have five girls right now and have gave up on this being a boy. I did not think I would ever have a boy. After my first girl that I was extremely happy with I cried at and for days after each and ever ultrasound, I even cried every time someone asked me what I was having. I felt like you explained but I am against abortion so I had no clue what to do. I even thought about giving my baby up for adoption but I was raised that that was just not an option for me. Well my husband wanted to try again and I got pregnant with this baby, thought it was a girl from the time I got a positive test. I even named her already and think you only have two girls I have five already so you can imagine how I felt. I got a ultrasound at twelve weeks and the tech said he thinks he had seen something there, I said he was crazy. Well at my 20 week ultrasound they were sure it was a boy. I started crying because I was so happy and I could not stop, if you seen me you would have thought they had said girl.lol. if this is your last baby just be thankful you have three girls to share your life with, I know how horrible that sounds right now but it is really all you can do. The third girl will eventually grow on you and it could take months after baby is born. With my fourth it took a few months of caring for her needs before I started having a real attachment to her but she eventually grew on me and is one of my favorite. The love and bond will come, just take it one day at a time. If you are comfortable with talking to someone then that is great. I never could I tried to talk with my husband and he looked at me like I was a insect, never tried again with anyone. I just prayed that it would go away.

[BLESSEDwith5tobe]

I know exactly how you feel I went through the same thing!!! I had 3 girls I cried when I found out she was a girl!!, she is 4 now and the most preciouslittle girl in tthe world!!! I wouldn't change her for anything !!!!! I had a boy 2 yrs later and am now pregnant again with yes ANTHOR GIRL!!! I just look at it now either way you are blessed!!! Some ppl can't have kids so we should all be thankful for ours!! Regardless of gender!

[hersheyma]

Im on my fourth boy, my whole family was praying for a girl, i was  disappointed  for a few hours of finding out, but it went away really quick

[kiafinesse]

Love reading what all you lovely ladies have wrote...lol some with all girls and some with boys...I guess I have to except my fate that im meant for my girls...but because im hormonal and pregnant I will fall into depression of that one baby I probably wont have...only time will tell how I feel...but the water works have stopped for now

[Lilmummyems]

I'm having my 4th girl I didn't think it was possible! I did want a boy but then I think about babysitting my nephews and I change my mind again and rather have girls! It's ok to feel disappointed but my guess is when your further along and see her you'll feel differently.

[kiafinesse]

Thank you all for your encouraging words im still crying at this very moment over the gender reveal and your right with a lil therapy or some time to except I probably will come to terms with this. I just dont want to seem selfish or like a horrible person because I dont want ababy I created. Or worse regret my decisions later in the future

[specialmom]

We found an old letter my mother in law had written when she had my husband and his twin brother.  She wrote "what do I want with two more boys"?  I think it is normal to think you prefer a sex but then when you have the baby, you fall in love as it is your child.  I'm sure this will happen for you.  But just don't put it in writing to anyone about your disappointment.  :>)  Kind of hurt my husband's feelings.  Think of this part of it . . .   you'll save money using your girl things and your third daughter will have play mates in her sisters so it might be easier.  There's always an upside!  peace

[alid32]

I agree with above. That level of upset is something you should talk to a therapist about mama. I think it is a bit beyond just gender disappointment. You certainly aren't the only person who has felt that way so don't feel alone.  Just hey on the phone and find a therapist to talk to so you can get to the bottom of what you're feeling. Good luck mama

[mellynn717]

I have two little girls with a third little girl on the way I couldn't be happier to me its all about having a healthy baby and that's all that matters. I would see a therapist cuz u shouldn't feel that way at all.

[Brandi_Bear]

I can honestly say you should talk to someone. If it doesn't get better maybe even adoption but don't kill a innocent baby for your selfish or something dealing with the feelings please don't

[mamalovesGod]

Please, be grateful for a healthy baby. I'm expecting my third girl too. I really just wanted a boy but I have grown to accept my little girl. God knows why.

[Mama_AyBee]

It's absolutely normal to feel the way you do. This is my first pregnancy and I so badly wanted a girl. Now I'm excited that baby Jayden is on his way. And I just learnt to accept that I really cannot be mad that I have a boy. Daddy after all contributed with his Y chromosome. Now I'm having an XY

[Shaynaruth]

As a woman who suffered from fertility issues, miscarriages, and heartache, I can honestly say that you are BLESSED.  Boy or girl, you are being given another opportunity to bring a beautiful child into this world.  There are many women who would give their left arm for the opportunity you have now.  Wait it out.  I'm sure as time goes by you will remember what makes you love your little girls right now, and not only will it grow on you, but you will also feel blessed upon her arrival.  I'm 7w2d, and a ftm, so I don't know what it's like to have "already been there" and want something new, but imagine if you felt this way with your previous pregnancy.  Can you really imagine what life would be like right now if you had aborted your youngest daughter?  Think of all the fun and excitement you would have missed.  Can you really do that to your future daughter?

[hkitty909]

Let me have y'all girls  I give u my twin boys  lol jp
I have 3 boys know . I'm expecting with twins boys again BOYS
I wanted my lil girls my self   I did got sad   I wanted them to be  girls  I wanted them  to be my last one  to  but god decide to me  give me boys
But I  still hope for my lil girl  
But I thank god there healthy  

[APRILENA]

Im on my third boy. I lve always wanted a little girl since my first boy. I was very disappointed at first. Now im 37 weeks and cant wait to meet baby Kolton. Im so excited I was tears in my eyes just thinking about it. Give it time and things should get better. I just hope later on in life my boys bring me little girl grandbabies I can spoil. Keep your head up. Im jealous you get three girls.

[mw89]

I can see the same thing happening to me its called gender disappointment. Google it there is a lot of help online too. This is my thrid I have a girl and a boy already. I want another girl so bad. And frankly if I find out its a boy I have had the thought of not wanting it and I have felt really guilty about it myself. Last night I happen to run accross a video about a couple who lost their baby frpm trisomony 13 and it made me realize that some people are not as lucky to have healthy babies. I stillwould prefer agirl but I will have to wait and see.
Take it day by day momma. That's what has helped me. I try not to think of those thoughts. Dont feel selfish its your emotions and this is a real problem. Dont let anyone tell you how wrong you.  Therapy may be a good idea. But wait and breath spend some time alone everyone can get overwhelming.
Good luck

[nonishy]

Therapy is probably the best for you right now. Maybe even talking with your boyfriend about it. If this is a feeling that you can't get over then adoption may be best. I'm on my 2nd child and it's another girl. Due to health reasons this may be my last child. I also wanted a boy, and was disappointed that it was a girl. But now I'm 33wks and i just want a healthy baby. This will be my husband's 1st child, and he says he just wants a healthy baby. Yes he wanted a boy too. But he's already in love with this little baby. I hope you find the help and comfort that you need.  

[karinaw_27]

I'd suggest talking to a therapist just to talk it all out. it'll help you think through it all.