New relationship

[Soon2be5]

Have any of u ladies been in a relationship for a while, had kids then seperated? Just a relationship - no marriage? I know everyone's situation is different but I'm stressed out. Ive been in an abusive relationship for 9 years now and am pregnant with my 5th. I want him to leave but he won't. I tell him daily I don't want him here & I don't wanna be with him.  I've been ready for a long time.  I'm so sick and tired of his bs. The thing that's stopping me is he's the only person I have contact with and what I tend to think as my only support. I have been talking to a friend I lost contact with since jan and he's so sweet. He's a single dad of 1 and every txt makes me smile.. He says things I've never had someone say to me. He calls me beautiful, my kids dad calls me an ugly  fat C. & tells me I'll never find anyone like him or no one that will do what he does. He ******* when I ask him to do things and doesn't financially contribute one bit. I want to move on but idk how. I'm scared of change. :(

[babyIvy_42715]

you need to leave his *** If he doesn't want to leave... you an hour kids deserve better.. don't bring another child into that relasonship..

[Soon2be5]

I know what I have to do... I wasn't asking what to do. I was asking how a transition into another relationship was when you both have kids...

[babyIvy_42715]

sorry I just hate men like that I was in two abusive relasonships..its seems you really like this other guy so I'd say go for it as long as he has respect for you and you kids..this is good he already has a child I think.

[Soon2be5]

I understand that I wasn't trying to be rude. Been struggling with a severe headache for 5 days straight now.  Thanks :):)

[Christon1]

Next time he says you won't find someone else like me say exactly, that's the point! You really need to leave him, change is always scary but it's a good thing!

[Soon2be5]

The thing that ***** is the guy I've been talking to is like an hour away :(

[Soon2be5]

Haha yeah he doesn't like it when I respond with that. He laughs and says good luck

[babyIvy_42715]

haha good one Christon1..well an hour away isnt bad..if you really serious about him go for it.. you guys will make it work no matter the distance..

[babyIvy_42715]

maybe you can relocate where he is..that way you get away from the *******..

[Soon2be5]

True. :) I'm trying to get rid of this headache so I can go for a day trip down there.. Was hoping to go tomorrow if I'm not in pain! However he doesn't know I'm pregnant :/ should I go visit and see how things go or should I tell him before - remember I haven't seen his guy in years

[babyIvy_42715]

I think it would be good to visit and just see how the vibe is between you too absolutely and while you are there tell him about the pregnancy face to face that way you can see the look on his face.. lol..

[Soon2be5]

Lol! I just don't want to feel like I'm putting him on the spot like I don't want to feel like I'm looking for someone to fill in as dad ya know.

[dee_lopez]

This has happened to me. I was with my kids dad for 10 years. He wasn't that ugly but hr had his moments sometime where he was just plain ugly and mean. I met the person I'm with now. Its a hard transition but its do able. You just need to be sure you're ready to move on for good. I have thought about my decision sometimes and I'm not sure if it was right one, only because I didn't give myself enough time to heal. My bf now is so sweet and compassionate and attentive and just a dream. We have our problems but at the end if the day I wish I had given ME some ME time. I would suggest you talk to him about you being pregnant and see what happens.  Don't make a permanent decision just yet. You have to make sure he feels the same way. Good luck!

[BabyWidmer]

I'm going to private message you soontobe5

[Soon2be5]

How do I check private messages lol

[BabyWidmer]

Click my name then it has an option to send me a message. Above that it will show you have 1 inbox message. Click that

[Soon2be5]

Done!!

[dasart13]

I agree with taking things slow and I Def agree with giving yourself some you time. I wish I had. I have a guy who is actually pretty decent but the sight of him disgusts me now. And I think things may be different if I had taken time to know myself as the new me, rather than still believing I'm the person I was before I had my son.

[Jimirsmom]

I'm pray you get out of that situation soon that's really depressing. In my opinion it's best to first have some time on your own to heal yourself before bring someone else into the situation,  plus you will have to slowly transition your kids or they will not take it well. Abusive men always attempt to isolate you from family and friends so that you will be without a support system and solely depend on them. You must build yourself up 1st, heal yourself, and then make plans to add someone else... I'm wish you much success on the journey